To all board members

[Guest truthseeker007]

I want to apologise for those times i ve blamed God and misrepresented his character. I thank you for being patient with me. I ve begun to read the books of EGW and i now understand that she is not the harsh witch critics say she is. In fact she was kind tender, i don t believe every fact she states is right and i come to see her as a messenger working for the lord and not somebody who is working for herself.

You know why i don t hate God anymore? It was the sermons of Herb Montgomery that made me realise that Christ suffered tremendously. And i didn t understand why an evil God would suffer so much if he only cared about himself. Christ his sacrifice on the cross have made me realise that God must be good. most of the hard things i have to face, i ve caused myself. Now i feel like a fool, i ve blamed God for everything i am responsible for. It is so unfair. But now i have peace, i don t deserve to live, so no matter what happens, i can t describe it as injustice being done to me. I don t live for myself anymore, i really don t care about myself at all anymore. However i do care about people, and i hope that somehow God is still willing to use me as an instrument of hope, peace and understanding, just for his sake. Not only would that be a tremendous honour, then my life has also meaning, and i can come closer to Christ. I hope somehow God will forget and forgive my past and give me a new better life, that is a life with Christ, the Father and the Holy Spirit.

It is a miracle i am still alive. I ve fought so hard with all the lies, the voices in my head and my depressions. So many times i was on the brink of committing suicide. I still feel so bad and nasty because of all my sins. I wish i was pure, but i am a fallen entity. Christ is my only hope, but i ain t even worthy of pronouncing his name. It is a wonderfull thought to have a loving caring God who is on your side, if only it wasn t too late, i would find so much comfort. But now it feels like i am fighting on all different fronts. Satan hates me because i expose his lies, i fight against depressions, then i fight against my sinfull nature, and though i ve wrestled with God and come to realise He must be good and i must be evil, i would understand if God has abandoned me too.

I can t find the words to express how i feel, so that s why i begged to investigate my heart.

[Woody]

Praise God for your testimony TS07.

Yes. I know that God has a plan for you and He is going to us you mightally if that is a word.

I love your passion and energy. God can use that.

Praise His Name.

[Gail]

Praise the Lord for the peace He gives!

Thank you for sharing, TS! In life we all have hills and valleys, but please remember this rest He has given you. The memory will sustain you.

I hope that soon you will be able to change your signature to "Seventh-Day friend of God"

:)

[GreatLakesGramma]

I hope somehow God will forget and forgive my past and give me a new better life, that is a life with Christ, the Father and the Holy Spirit.

...I still feel so bad and nasty because of all my sins. I wish i was pure, but i am a fallen entity. Christ is my only hope, but i ain t even worthy of pronouncing his name. It is a wonderfull thought to have a loving caring God who is on your side, if only it wasn t too late, i would find so much comfort....i would understand if God has abandoned me too.

God has not abandoned you, and He never will. He loves you just as you are, and it is not too late. None of us is pure or righteous of ourselves. None of us are any better than you. We may not have done the same things, but inside we are all rotten to the core. The only good any of us have within us has been given to us by the Holy Spirit working in our hearts.

Keep coming to Him just as you are. He is the one who will make your pure again. He has promised: "I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; I will take the heart of stone out of your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. I will put My Spirit within you and cause you to walk in My statutes, and you will keep My judgments and do them.... I will deliver you from all your uncleannesses." Ezekiel 37: 26-29.

[Anthony!]

God bless you for your testimony... we all have to go on a journey towards faith. These scriptures give you confidence in forgiveness.

1 John 1:6-10 (21st Century King James Version)

6 If we say that we have fellowship with Him, and walk in darkness, we lie, and do not the truth.

7 But if we walk in the light, as He is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanseth us from all sin.

8 If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.

9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

10 If we say that we have not sinned, we make Him a liar, and His Word is not in us.

1 John 2:1,2 (21st Century King James Version)

1 My little children, these things write I unto you, that ye sin not. And if any man sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous.

2 And He is the propitiation for our sins, and not for ours only, but also for the sins of the whole world.

Hebrews 4:14-16 (21st Century King James Version)

14 Seeing then that we have a great High Priest who has passed into the Heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast to our profession.

15 For we do not have a High Priest who cannot be touched with the feelings of our infirmities, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin.

16 Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.

[GreatLakesGramma]

Anthony, are you a fan of 1 John too? It's my favorite book of the Bible. I've memorized the whole thing.

[Guest truthseeker007]

Thank you for your encouragements. I am still sad though i am so weak when it comes to resisting temptation. I am also saddened by the fact that i still have some selfish characteristics inside of me. However i am making tremendous progress. I have fought the great controversy within myself.

In my dark days the demons convinced me that there was no God, only a cosmic God that lives in everything (pantheism) and that i could ascend. Also there was no right or wrong, only superiority and inferiority. I also was made to believe that my ego was the centre of the universe. All these principles are attributes of satan and contrary to the principles of heaven where harmony reigns. This is exactly why the whole great controversy started. I have to admit, it sounded very attractive to me, but if we look at this sick world, we have got proof that it only leads to misery. Making ourselves Gods doesn t only hurt our fellow beings, it also hurts ourselves by creating competition. I believe satan knows very well that he has deceived even angels for his own ego. I often wonder why angels would be so stupid to be deceived by satan. Probably the things lucifer said in heaven, sounded wonderfull to them. He probably created a desire in their hearts to become little Gods.

I am glad, i didn t commit suicide in a time when i thought people like Hitler were good people. It took me years and years to get over my own ego. But the real progress came when i realised how other-centred Jesus was at the cross and during his whole life here on earth. Now i realise how hopeless i am and try to focus on him and that helps. But some sins have just become a habit for me, i have to fight those.

When i look at God his creation and then i look at myself, i think i am a terrible worthless being. I wish i had a better character and the sin inside of me was evaporated. Maybe, if you pray for me, you can pray that God will give me a better character, more pure and holy...

[Woody]

Praise God for your progress TS.

The fact that youa are 'saddened' by some of the lack of ability to resist sin .... is evidence of the Holy Spirit in your life. Praise God. And B patient. We all are struggling along with you. You are not alone.

[GreatLakesGramma]

Amen to that! Every one of us has at least one area in which we have failed again and again, and long for victory. Never give up, for only if we give up does Satan win. Then all the effort we've made up to that point will be lost.

Once, not long after I was born again, I was feeling hopeless, and God spoke to me. He said "you may never succeed at anything I ask you to do, but as long as you keep trying, that's good enough for me." Those were His exact words, and I have had cause to remember them and cling to that promise many times in the years since.

TS, keep one very important thing in mind, and know it is true no matter whether you feel it or not, that God wants you in heaven far more than you want to be there.

[Woody]

Exactly. Great post GLG. You said it SO well. Thank you. I am sure TS will appreciate what you have said.