True-believer Posted May 12, 2009 Posted May 12, 2009 Kids! Accept Jesus Christ as Your Lord and Savior and Get a Free PlayStation 3! This brand new extended PlayStation 3 offer is for children and teenagers only! It may not be used in conjunction with any other Landover Baptist salvation offer. Hey kids! If your Mum and Dad can't get you a PlayStation 3 for Christmas, you can still get one FOR FREE! Have you ever heard of Jesus Christ? Well, He's heard of you! And He wants you to have all the cool toys your parents are too cheap to buy! In fact, the Lord Jesus is very upset with your parents that they won't give you all the latest stuff that every kid in Australia deserves! And Jesus has got your back, because He is your homeboy! If you've never heard of Jesus, He is an invisible cloud-dwelling deity (infinite lives!) who loves you very much and wants nothing more than to give you a free PlayStation 3! We here at Landover Baptist Church work full-time as servants of Jesus Christ, and He's told us about you and your predicament. He's also given us special instructions on how He wants us to deliver a new PlayStation 3 to your house. It's as easy as 1-2-3! Understand, Jesus cares WAY more about you than your parents EVER will! They will never love you as much as Jesus loves you! Always remember that. If you hate your parents because they can't get you a PlayStation 3 for Christmas, He completely understands! He is totally down with that! In fact, lucky for you, in order to follow Him, you are actually required to hate your parents! "If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother...he cannot be my disciple." - The Lord Jesus Christ (Luke 14:26) Pretty cool, huh? So, if you hate your parents, you are already halfway to becoming a True Christian™! Congratulations! Here is what you need to do to get your free Play Station 3: 1. Tell Jesus that you hate your parents, and that you'd rather have Him for your Daddy. Ask Him to forgive your sins, and cover you with His blood (you'll see plenty of that splattered across your TV when you play your complimentary Grand Theft Auto 3 game!). 2. Find one of your Mum or Dad's credit cards (a blank check is even better!) 3. Call our church office and we will provide you with simple instructions on how to use your parents' credit card to charge a love offering over the phone. Don't worry if you can't find a credit card. We can teach you how to use one of your daddy's checks to do an automatic draft withdrawal (which will get you free shipping and an extra game disk!) Please note: If your parents ask you where you got your new PlayStation 3, just tell them that your Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, delivered it to you via the Australian Postal Service in exchange for your soul. Quote Luke 4:19To preach the acceptable year of the Lord.
Members phkrause Posted May 12, 2009 Members Posted May 12, 2009 Its almost like bribery, TB. Not sure what they will be more interested in the game or Jesus. pk Quote phkrause When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice; But when a wicked man rules, the people groan. Proverbs 29;2
GreatLakesGramma Posted May 12, 2009 Posted May 12, 2009 That has got to be a joke too, and not a very good one. Quote Catherine God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Psalm 73:26. "To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable, because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you." -- C. S. Lewis
True-believer Posted May 12, 2009 Author Posted May 12, 2009 That has got to be a joke too, and not a very good one. Yes... I received this as an email from a friend and thought it was funny... but I think it is going too far??? What are your thoughts??? Quote Luke 4:19To preach the acceptable year of the Lord.
GreatLakesGramma Posted May 12, 2009 Posted May 12, 2009 If a friend of mine sent me a joke like that, I think I'd let them know what I thought of it. Of course, they probably would quit sending me anything after that. Quote Catherine God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Psalm 73:26. "To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable, because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you." -- C. S. Lewis
True-believer Posted May 12, 2009 Author Posted May 12, 2009 HEY GREATLAKESGRAMMA I forgot to put word not in my post then WHEN I try to send I HIT wrong button dgrimm60 Don't worry dgrimm60... It happens to all of us every now and then!!!!!!! Quote Luke 4:19To preach the acceptable year of the Lord.
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.