Confrontational and argumentative

[Stan]

Can someone explain it to me, and please talk to me like I am 6 years old, and tell me why some folks HAVE to be confrontational and argumentative in nearly every post?

AND do you think they see that in themselves?

[oldsailor29]

Can someone explain it to me, and please talk to me like I am 6 years old, and tell me why some folks HAVE to be confrontational and argumentative in nearly every post?

AND do you think they see that in themselves?

I don't think we see it in ourselves. But it is not a new thing. The "friends" of Job all thought they knew how God had acted in the past, and therefore why Job was suffering. They all had slightly different opinions. They were all rebuked, not so much for having wrong opinions, but for thinking they knew the mind of God.

Sorry, but I don't know how to talk to a 6 year old.

[Outta Here]

Can someone explain it to me, and please talk to me like I am 6 years old, and tell me why some folks HAVE to be confrontational and argumentative in nearly every post?

AND do you think they see that in themselves?

Okay...like a 6 year old:

Stan, honey, some people just aren't as lucky as you have been--their mommies and daddies haven't taught them better. But, you know better--you know that you should be kind to people all the time and that you should treat them like you would want to be treated. Those people really don't know any better at all. We should pray for them and for their mommies and daddies.

[fccool]

I certainly see it in myself, little Stan. But, when you grow a little older and you will learn about something called a debate. A debate is when adults gather around and talk about important issues... like presidents do. There's nothing wrong with debate, and you could say that people in the Bible were "rude" (confrontational) and "angry" (argumentative) when they saw something that they thought was not right. So, they pleaded with other people to act and think differently, and they gave good reasons.

Of course there are rules to any debate that person should know about, the rule that John McCain broke many times when he talked to Mr. Obama.

1) Speak about the issues, and don't make people who talk about the issue look bad. Don't call people names because they think one way or another. Don't point fingers at people.

2) Listen to what other person has to say, because they may be correct... perhaps not on everything, but there are always things to learn from other people.

3) No-one will agree on everything all the time. But, sometimes truth is found in differences of opinions. You will understand this one when you grow up a bit.

Ok, give me a kiss and it's sleepy time, little Stan. :)

[guibox]

Can someone explain it to me, and please talk to me like I am 6 years old, and tell me why some folks HAVE to be confrontational and argumentative in nearly every post?

Frankly, I think you could have worded this much better. Why in the world would you think someone could be confrontational and argumentative? Surely you could have done a bit more research on this before you just posted. I fail to see why you think someone could be confrontational! That is quite an assumptive judgment. Some people like myself can post perfectly well without being confrontational and argumentative....but..well....

Hmmm....wait a minute..

[Gail]

Quote:

Ok, give me a kiss and it's sleepy time, little Stan.

Oh, I want to see this!!

[jasd]

QR frame:

Well, I dont believe that heaven waits

For only those who congregate

I`d like to think of God as love

He`s down below

He`s up above

He`s watchin` people everywhere

He knows who does and doesn`t care

And I`m an ordinary man

Sometimes I wonder who I am.

But I believe in love

I believe in music

I believe in magic

And I believe in you.

--Inspiration

[carolaa]

Randy Travis?

[jasd]

Good songster, that Travis.

Lotsa covers, but I like Don William's rendition.

How'ya been, lady? are you still bustin' them over on the 'Politics' board? inside and low, lady

[carolaa]

That was a good song - and I'm not much of a country music fan. Oh yes, well I was thinking it was before Randy Travis, but it seemed like his voice in my head.

Doin' fine, thanks. Kinda busy of late, haven't been around quite as much. Seems like you haven't been either. I'm slipping down that Top Posters list. :)

[carolaa]

You can tell the seriously confrontational by the way they argue with people who agree with them.

[Woody]

Doin' fine, thanks. Kinda busy of late, haven't been around quite as much. Seems like you haven't been either. I'm slipping down that Top Posters list.

Hey ... just five more posts and you will be ahead of me. I may soon slip down below the top ten. I am just havin' a hard time keeping up with all of you posters.

[carolaa]

You need to play those word games and you'd be back on top!

[jasd]

>>...I'm not much of a country music fan...<<

I am somewhat an aficionado (and snob) of Opera; however, I found that Bel Canto can be found elsewhere. Some of the most remarkable are in my collection of ‘country and western’ – which spills over to simple ‘pop’. I am now long-time more generally appreciative of other forms of song.

>>Seems like you haven't been either.<<

Umm, ...not all that long on principles; however, what few I own up to proscribe my participation in a thing which requires that an arbitrary litmus first be met. Can’t abide such

parochialism.

Thanks, but no thanks. That said, ...gathering by the growing number of boards that limit participation to those of likemindedness – I’ll soon be posting to truly marginal areas – or given the fare-thee-well and g’bye.

[Dr. Shane]

Can someone explain it to me, and please talk to me like I am 6 years old, and tell me why some folks HAVE to be confrontational and argumentative in nearly every post?

AND do you think they see that in themselves?

This is a little off topic but when I have a contractual disagreement with someone in my job I often talk to them like they are a six-year old that needs someone to come along and explain to them contract law and how things work in the business world. I know this really irritates a lot of the small business owners, architects and engineers that I work with but I do it anyway. I want them to get the message that if they want to break their contract with me or try to intimidate me into doing more than I am contractually obligated to do, they are going to sit through Business by Shane 101. A problem I have to deal with is that many subcontractors in my area really don't know how to run a business and many architects are use to working with contractors that are not highly educated.

Now I wonder if I haven't learned a little about being confrontational from being here at C/A.... No, I probably was pretty good before getting here.

I do try to disagree civilly here. I can somewhat justify being an old cancerous sore in my professional life but here I try to be a little more friendly.

[carolaa]

Some of the most remarkable are in my collection of ‘country and western’ – which spills over to simple ‘pop’. I am now long-time more generally appreciative of other forms of song.

Yes, I agree crossover music is much more tolerable.

I’ll soon be posting to truly marginal areas – or given the fare-thee-well and g’bye.

[carolaa]

A problem I have to deal with is that many subcontractors in my area really don't know how to run a business and many architects are use to working with contractors that are not highly educated.

One of the biggest culture shocks I had in moving to Texas was facing incompetence at every turn. It was like a bad dream until I learned to expect it and adapt. Now I rarely think about it until something goes smoothly - LOL. The construction field is a huge part of that, but definitely not the only part.

[Neil D]

To no one in poticular-

There are a verity of reasons as to why some are confrontational and arguementive.

There are cyber-bullies of all sorts...In this forum, there are religious bigots here....who think that they are 'middle of the road' and don't know just how much of a cyber bully they are.

There are some who believe that they are on a 'righteous crusade' who have been nice most of thier life and was never confrontational.... until they got tired of the rude negetive behavior of some here...and they went ballistic...I believe I fall into this catagory.

There are some who have sold thier characters to a perticular dogma....or conspiracy theory....or religious myth....

There are some who have a need to be right all the time... a king, if you will, where they want to be adored as a just person.

There are some who just can't help themselves and must tell the world just how bad they see it.

There are some who don't realize that they are in the homes of others when they get on the internet, and for some reason, think that they can act out anyway they desire....

But if you can get past all of these...for lack of a better word, idiots, and see others on the net as actual people, and treat them as you would in your own home, then the virtual cyber world is really not such a bad place, especally here at ClubAdventist.

....Because there are some really neat people here....And, as a shameless plug, I get to see some of them tonight, in less than 12 hours....

.......

[Gerr]

Can someone explain it to me, and please talk to me like I am 6 years old, and tell me why some folks HAVE to be confrontational and argumentative in nearly every post?

AND do you think they see that in themselves?

I only confront and argue with those who disagree with my view! teehe

[Stan]

Yes, and you are a class act when you do that.

[Outta Here]

There are some who don't realize that they are in the homes of others when they get on the internet, and for some reason, think that they can act out anyway they desire....

I quote this, because I think it bears repeating. Excellent insight, Neil!

[Woody]

We each have our own intolerance.

Personally ... I don't mind people confronting and arguing the issues.

What I am intolerant of is making things personal with name calling.

That is what crosses the line for me.

And I then become intolerant.

[Bravus]

But the problem is, different people are different. I find the tight distinction that is drawn between 'attacking the argument' and 'attacking the person' to often be much too artificial to be a useful guide. It is mildly less offensive to say 'your argument is the argument of a fool' than to say 'you are a fool', but it's still offensive, and IMO still falls under Jesus' condemnation of saying someone is a fool. The standard needs to be higher than just avoiding name-calling, it needs to involve actual consideration and empathy: will this hurt the person?

I understand the argument that that puts us at the mercy of the other person's claim to be offended, but no more than going the second mile puts us at the mercy of the commander, or turning the other cheek at the mercy of the slapper. Jesus' requirement of us is a radical goodness that goes beyond self-interest and protecting ourselves to protect others.

[Dr. Shane]

It is mildly less offensive to say 'your argument is the argument of a fool' than to say 'you are a fool', but it's still offensive...

When I listen to fools I normally repeat foolish things. I have been known to do that.

Why is it that so many are quick to admit they are sinners but are so offended when someone points out one of their sins?

[Bravus]

...because that's no-one's job but the Holy Spirit's?