is everybody evil?

[Guest truthseeker007]

Often i notice people being angry with me right away as i make a mistake. I experience lack of compassion in times of trouble, jealousy etc.

I see this so often that i am starting to think that this is the standard,and that i am not the way i am supposed to be. Maybe God too is a very harsh and cold judge as soon as i make a little mistake. Maybe Jesus his grace is so conditional that in practice almost nobody will get into the kingdom of heaven. Perhaps the love i experienced as a child in the reformed church is based on lies also. The people looked for each other, but maybe they ll go to hell anyway because they are not perfect. Maybe God rejects us all.

I ve tortured myself years with the idea that i am so bad, and if i struggle to become good God will love me. But geuss what. I cannot win this fight, so what should i do? I have lost confidence in all people, i say to myself, "why am i such a fool sacrificing everything for people who only care about themselves and want to make my life miserable"? Maybe i should just let it go, not care anymore. I would fight but only under these conditions;

1. That Jesus is not a harsh perfectionist judge

2 That Jesus takes care of me when i ve got troubles so i can take care of others when they have troubles

3. That Jesus is love and full of grace

Now i am starting to doubt and say to myself' what the hell have i been doing all these years studyiung the word of God'?what did it profit? i know i ain t supposed to say that, but i can t help it right now. Ah well at least i can write books on this subject, earn some income from the royalties, make enemies by bringing to light that which should be kept in darkness, and receive even more hate.

Sometimes i am thinking about making the misery of my life a goal, because that seems the only way i can succeed in life. So i need people to hate me, to realise how bad i am etc. etc. etc.

All i can say now is, help!somehow!somebody!somewhere!

[phkrause]

TS you seem to go around and around, but all of us have our ups and downs. You need to just allow Jesus to come into your life and take care of you. As far as your questions: 1-Jesus is does not expect you to be perfect, but I believe that he wants us to seek to be the best we can be. 2-yes. 3-yes. And you need to stop feeling sorry for your self.

pk

[Woody]

Good post pk. I agree.

You know ... this life on earth just ain't fair.

But our life in Heaven will be fair. Totally fair and PERFECT in all ways.

Let's keep our eyes on what we are in store for instead of this old life here on earth.

I long for heaven.

PS. And yes Truthseeker 007 ... Always so good to see you here.