"Hey, there's a better one!"

[olger]

“Zoom zoom” is the advertising mantra of a well-known auto manufacturer, but most people don’t know that it is also my personal parking strategy.

For instance, I use a lot of stuff. Just last week, I ran to the local Wal-Mart to get some more stuff. As I pulled into the large parking lot, my radar vision locked on a parking spot on row G that was about 275’ feet from the store entrance. That would be fine. But just as I maneuvered the Jetta past a cockeyed diesel truck into a sweeping left turn to the slot, I got hit broadside! (not by the truck, but by an idea). “There’s a better parking spot over there!” I kept the car moving and bettered my position by another slot. Progress!

Just before I killed the engine I saw another spot even closer. As I was pulling into that one I noticed what appeared to be a dead spot just beyond the cart corral. Yes. Zoom. Kill. Lock. Walk. Stuff. Buy. Pay. And leave.

I left the parking lot, not only a satisfied shopper of stuff, but a satisfied parker as well. This is therapeutic for us zoom-zoomers, and much better than Darwin’s doctrine of inevitable progress. Nearing bedtime, I unloaded my stuff and hit the sack.

Soon I was dreaming of pulling into a large Wal-Mart parking lot. I hate dreams but this one was pretty good. I parked out near the road at first, then continually improved my location until I removed all the carts from the cart corral and eased the car into the corral. Then I noticed the entry doors on the store were wider than usual. Zoom-zoom. Things got ugly.

Suffice it to say that just before I awoke I had parked between the creamed spinach and cheez whiz, and was just about to be served with a ticket from the store manager who looked like Ernest Borgnine with a yellow inflatable shirt. There is a fine line between pleasant dreams and night-mares.

Moral of the story: Buy more stuff online.

Now, I wonder if I can find a closer website…?

gcw

[olger]

I understand - there's a lot of over-plump Americans that would benefit from an extra walk.

Too much STUFF !!

g

[Tom Wetmore]

I am frequently amused by those with this parking lot strategy, circling the lot and waiting for the little old lady up front to load her groceries so they can have her primo parking spot near the entrance. I quickly park in the less in demand fringes and walk a few extra steps and usually walk right past the aforementioned person still circling or waiting. I am in the store getting my stuff often before they even get out of their car. It may save steps, but rarely does it save time.

Tom

[GreatLakesGramma]

I don't like having other vehicles parked too close to mine, because my husband would have a fit if it got a scratch on it. So I park farther away, where there are fewer cars. I don't mind the exercise, if I have decent shoes on.

[Dr. Rich]

What? The first thing I do when I get a new car is go fourwheeling and get as many scratches and dents in it as I can. Then I never have to worry about anyone scratching it and I stay a happy camper.

[olger]

HA, good one. I call that a "mountain car."

still circling...

g

[GreatLakesGramma]

Dr. Rich, the vehicle I am driving is one of my husband's most prized auto body projects. He put it together from 3 different Suburbans, the body being from Texas, and therefore never touched by road salt. He painted it an iridescent blue/black. The paint alone cost him $1000. It wears a car cover when it's parked in our yard, and it goes into storage in the winter, because he doesn't want road salt to ever touch it.

[Dr. Rich]

Well Gramma, what can I say? My cars and trucks are treated the same way I treat the animals I hunt--they don't get stuffed to be a trophy-they are harvested for food. I eat the food God made, not the stuff man made--(when I can)

[Dr. Rich]

dgrimm60, LOL, It is fun to laugh early in the morning! And yes, I do in fact take them 4wheeling--that's how I get them home from the field.

Happy Sabbath,