WHAT JEFF FOXWORTHY HAS TO SAY ABOUT 'LIVING IN OREGON'

[Neil D]

. . .

If someone in a Home Depot store offers you

assistance and they don't work

there,

you live in Oregon.

If you've worn shorts, sandals and a parka at

the same time,

you live in Oregon.

If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation

with someone who dialed the wrong number,

you live in Oregon.

If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C' and

back again in the same day,

you live in Oregon.

If you install security lights on your house and

garage but leave both doors unlocked,

you live in Oregon.

If you design your kid's Halloween costume to

fit over a 2 layers of clothes or under a raincoat,

you live in Oregon.

If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter,

winter, still winter, and road construction,

you live in Oregon.

If you feel guilty throwing aluminum cans or paper in the trash,

you live in Oregon.

If you know more than 10 ways to order coffee,

you live in Oregon.

If you stand on a deserted corner in the rain

waiting for the "Walk" signal,

you live in Oregon.

If you consider that if it has no snow or has

not recently erupted, it is not a real mountain,

you live in Oregon.

If you can taste the difference between

Starbucks, Seattle's Best, and Dutch Bros,

you live in Oregon.

If you know the difference between Chinook, Coho

and Sockeye salmon,

you live in Oregon.

If you know how to pronounce Sequim, Puyallup, Clatskanie, Issaquah, Oregon,

Umpqua, Yakima and Willamette,

you live in Oregon.

If you consider swimming an indoor sport,

you live in Oregon.

If you know that Boring is a city and not just a

feeling,

you live in Oregon.

If you can tell the difference between Japanese,

Chinese and Thai food,

you live in Oregon.

If you never go camping without waterproof

matches and a poncho,

you live in Oregon.

If you have actually used your mountain bike on

a mountain,

you live in Oregon.

If you think people who use umbrellas are either

wimps or tourists,

you live in Oregon.

If you buy new sunglasses every year, because

you cannot find the old ones after such a long time,

you live in Oregon.

If you actually understand these jokes and

forward them to all your OREGON friends,

you live or have lived in Oregon