Some thoughts on "How to play well with others" on the forum

[Stan]

Mind the moderator, it there is one of the forum you post in, the moderators can set the tone for their forums, this is true in public forums and private forum.

Do not 'correct' every thought and every poster, know-it-alls are less loved on forums than in real life.

Make your own statement without copying and pasting a lot of 'authorities' on what others may view as trivial matters.

Cyber-harassment has developed into crime, as it has taken place here too much in the past. I would view threatening to call one's pastor, employer, spouse etc as creeping into the category. Be my opinion on that wrong or right, if it is done you will be asked to go play elsewhere.

No means no, and that includes constant asking for cyber sexual favours, some who were here are no longer here over that.

Although I think posts are better and stronger if they are done in real names, there are some very valid reasons why some do not use real names.

If you are not supportive of the Adventist Church, and constantly post anti-adventist things, you will be asked to go play else where. There are several former Adventist and non Adventist here who really contribute to the fellowship.

Realize not everyones background is the same, live with it.

reread this as needed

Quote:

Welcome with open arms fellow believers who don’t see things the way you do. And don’t jump all over them every time they do or say something you don’t agree with – even when it seems that they are strong on opinions but weak in the faith department.

Remember, they have their own history to deal with. Treat them gently. Romans 14.1: The Message

Follow these basic thoughts, and you will not only enjoy this more here, but will be a blessing to others as well.

Understand that men join online communities for different reasons that women do.

Feel free to add some comments on how to play well with others.

Please understand these take $$$$ to run, it is not profitable, please, if you are going to join the fellowship sign up for at least the token amount of $3.50 per month to help share the expenses. I do no make any money from this.

[Stan]

no comments anyone?

[Stan]

If you come in 'guns ablazing' and feel it is your call to correct everyone.... well thats really not going to go over that well as well as one might think.

[Steve Billiter]

Mind the moderator, it there is one of the forum you post in, the moderators can set the tone for their forums, this is true in public forums and private forum.

Do not 'correct' every thought and every poster, know-it-alls are less loved on forums than in real life.

Make your own statement without copying and pasting a lot of 'authorities' on what others may view as trivial matters.

Cyber-harassment has developed into crime, as it has taken place here too much in the past. I would view threatening to call one's pastor, employer, spouse etc as creeping into the category. Be my opinion on that wrong or right, if it is done you will be asked to go play elsewhere.

No means no, and that includes constant asking for cyber sexual favours, some who were here are no longer here over that.

Although I think posts are better and stronger if they are done in real names, there are some very valid reasons why some do not use real names.

If you are not supportive of the Adventist Church, and constantly post anti-adventist things, you will be asked to go play else where. There are several former Adventist and non Adventist here who really contribute to the fellowship.

Realize not everyones background is the same, live with it.

reread this as needed

Quote:

Welcome with open arms fellow believers who don’t see things the way you do. And don’t jump all over them every time they do or say something you don’t agree with – even when it seems that they are strong on opinions but weak in the faith department.

Remember, they have their own history to deal with. Treat them gently. Romans 14.1: The Message

Follow these basic thoughts, and you will not only enjoy this more here, but will be a blessing to others as well.

Understand that men join online communities for different reasons that women do.

Feel free to add some comments on how to play well with others.

Please understand these take $$$$ to run, it is not profitable, please, if you are going to join the fellowship sign up for at least the token amount of $3.50 per month to help share the expenses. I do no make any money from this.

I don't think we should be correctors of "heretics" as such, as that can be strongly overstated and acted upon to the point of forcing the conscience into ones own ideology. Since God leaves us free to believe what we want, why should we treat our fellow man otherwise?

But for me, my search for truth is seeking to understand what God is telling me though the Bible and EGW. In all discussions, it should behoove me to do that nicely. Then the test comes when others choose to violate God's principles of kindness and go on the verbal attack. (see on 1Pet. 3:15) While the Bible teaches a spirit of meekness; it also teaches the ministry of reproof among church members.

I don't believe there are valid reasons for hiding ones identity in the light of the Bible. However, individual rights should be respected, not everyone follows all Bible teachings, or necessarily would have God to remove any spirit of fear. But if we condemn others for "hiding" then it may become problematic to convince them of anything the Bible teaches. In the final analysis, God is the judge, not us!

[Stan]

There are plenty of good reasons not to use a person name.

A person who has left an abusive marriage (As EGW recommended) and does not want the spouse to track them down.

A person who wants to share thoughts without be blasted by folks when they find out who he or she is. IE someone who wants fellowship without being jumped all over on everything they say.

Someone who is trying to make their way home to the Church

There are many more...

[Guest]

Understand that men join online communities for different reasons that women do.

What be the difference Stan man?

[Bravus]

[reposted]

One further tip that I think is useful is keeping in mind that it's a Discussion forum, not a battleground. The things that make a good conversation face-to-face - like listening, having respect for the views of other participants, being willing to disagree but to do so tactfully and thoughtfully, avoiding abuse and bullying, and so on - also make for enjoyable and productive online discussions.

Remembering that we are 'surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses' here - in that maybe 10x as many people lurk as post - is also useful. It can be frustrating if the people participating in the discussion don't seem to be willing to understand what you post, but remembering that there is a large audience also reading can help to avoid getting steamed up, and instead encourage trying to put your ideas across as clearly and civilly as possible.

[teresaq]

Quote:

the moderators can set the tone for their forums,

it would be nice if the theology forums were under different moderators so one could choose which "tone" they would be under.

as it is, it is most difficult to have any kind of meaningful discussion, learning experience.

it would also be most helpful if those of us who considered ourselves any kind of "authority" and "knower of heresy" would humble down and just agree or disagree with the points brought up and why we see it differently.

[teresaq]

[reposted]One further tip that I think is useful is keeping in mind that it's a Discussion forum, not a battleground. The things that make a good conversation face-to-face - like listening, having respect for the views of other participants, being willing to disagree but to do so tactfully and thoughtfully, avoiding abuse and bullying, and so on - also make for enjoyable and productive online discussions.

im thinking that means different things to different people, or has no meaning whatsoever.

i know in the two years ive been online ive had to redo a lot of thinking which affects my approaches, and still am in the learning process.

[Tom Wetmore]

...It can be frustrating if the people participating in the discussion don't seem to be willing to understand what you post...

Indeed! This is a frequent personal frustration. And more broadly on unwillingness to understand or consider the topic to which they are posting. So many topics lurch off the tracks because of these simple failures to stop and think about the topic and the post to which one is responding.

This frustration turns to disgust when I see a poster write a prefaced remark that "Although I don't have time to read this thread, I would like to say..." If one wants to contribute to the conversation take the time to read and understand. I occurred to me in the process of temporarily locking a derailed topic in the Original Thoughts forum that if some would have taken the time to read through the existing posts and think about the topic before posting, we might have all been spared much annoyance and frustration - and we might have actually had a constructive and positive contribution to the discussion.

So, my thoughts on playing well with others on the forums is to actually take the time to read through what has already been posted before offering a thought. The surprise is that you might discover that what you had in mind to post has already been said, repeatedly, or that the comment had nothing to do with the intended topic at hand. (This suggestion might have the added benefit of slowing down the escalating decay of so many topics...)

[WayneV]

Stan et al,

I frequent another theology forum called Theology Online (or TOL). On that forum they occasionally hold a moderated debate known as a Battle Royale. It has always amazed me how the "combatants" in those "Battles" are able to treat each other with greater respect than is seen in some of the forum sections here.

One of the things that I have appreciated about the online theology classes at Nazarene Bible College is their fair treatment of all sides of the theological issues while still encouraging belief in the Nazarene distinctives. The electronic class discussion can get heated at times, but is never disrespectful.

I am not sure what the answer is for this forum. However, those same theological discussions, respectful or not, are one of the main reasons that I lurk here as often as I can.

Agape`

[Woody]

Quote:

It has always amazed me how the "combatants" in those "Battles" are able to treat each other with greater respect than is seen in some of the forum sections here.

I've been able to find a number of internet forums where people are respectful of each other. I don't know why it doesn't work here.

[Stan]

family tend to 'lose it' with family members easier than with strangers.

[Stan]

family (fellow believers) forums, like this, need to be more about community than confrontation.

Welcome with open arms fellow believers who don’t see things the way you do. And don’t jump all over them every time they do or say something you don’t agree with – even when it seems that they are strong on opinions but weak in the faith department. Remember, they have their own history to deal with. Treat them gently.

Romans 14.1: The Message

[Guest]

All that you have said Stan, we will do...

[teresaq]

then they made a calf, and engaged in pagan worship rites.

perhaps another approach might be better. :)

[LifeHiscost]

All that you have said Stan, we will do...

___as he formed with care the golden calf.

[Guest]