How much "tolerance" should one tolerate?

[abelisle]

This Sabbath's lesson study on "patience" has got me thinking about something I heard/read in regard to the limits of tolerance a Christian should have. I remember reading in Adventist Home that a marriage should more than anything else, have redemptive qualities and either I read between the lines or it was stipulated clearly that a woman should not stay in an abusive relationship due to the aforementioned principle.

So, in this regard, what are our tolerance limitations as Christians?

Alex

[karl]

I tried to find some stuff at the EGW estate on tolerating abuse. Couldn't find any advice for a wife to leave her husband, but I suspect that she would advise a woman who feared for her life to leave. There is one quote where she advises a woman not to go back to a man. Elsewhere she says that adultery is the only grounds for leaving.

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Brother Ralph was a faithful young man, a Christian who was trying to do a work in explaining the Scripture to those who would become interested. One man was bitterly opposed, and his wife received the truth and was an earnest believer, keeping the Sabbath. This provoked him, and when Brother Ralph came to his house, he met him and ordered him out and kicked him off the steps. He took this abuse patiently, and said, "I shall pray for you and your wife, for she is a child of God."

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I have received your letter, and in reply to it I would say, I cannot advise you to return to D unless you see decided changes in him. The Lord is not pleased with the ideas he has had in the past of what is due to a wife. . . . If [he] holds to his former views, the future would be not better for you than the past has been. He does not know how to treat a wife. I feel very sad about this matter. I feel indeed sorry for D, but I cannot advise you to go to him against your judgment. I speak to you as candidly as I spoke to him; it would be perilous for you to again place yourself under his dictation. I had hoped that he would change. . . .

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In such cases my advice would be, Mothers, whatever trials you may be called to endure through poverty, through wounds and bruises of the soul, from the harsh, overbearing assumption of the husband and father, do not leave your children; do not give them up to the influence of a godless father. Your work is to counteract the work of the father, who is apparently under the control of Satan.

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Talk not and plead not for the sympathy of your husband and your children, but simply live the life of Christ. In words, in spirit, in character, in meekness, in patience and forbearance, in cheerfulness, be a signpost pointing out the way, the path that leads heavenward.

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The Experience of a Wife and Mother Who Accepted the Sabbath.-- Several from Melbourne have also decided to obey [the truth]. When one sister took her stand upon the truth her husband said, "You may give up the seventh-day Sabbath or leave my home." They were Wesleyans. She left home, and then her daughter, a girl of sixteen years, took her stand on the Sabbath, and the father told her to leave. The mother heard this and went home for her daughter. The husband and father said, "Well, have you decided to give up that Sabbath and come back and live with me?" She replied, "No, I came for my daughter whom you have turned out of doors." "But what are you going to do?" he questioned. "I am going to support myself and daughter. She may help me as she can." He begged on his knees for his wife to give up these terrible doctrines. She had been a very timid woman, but the truth made her strong, and she said, "No, I shall never give up the Sabbath. I shall keep it as long as I live. I must obey God." "Well," he said, "if you will come back, you and my daughter may keep the Sabbath, but promise you will not go to the meetings." She would make no such promise. "I will be a faithful wife to you in everything," she said, "but should I listen to your proposals, and disobey God, I should not be a faithful child to Him, and therefore should not be a faithful wife to you or a faithful mother to my children." "Well," he said, "I am in great distress of mind. Will you go to our minister and talk with him?" At first she refused, saying that she knew her duty and need not go to the minister to learn it. But as he continued to entreat her, she finally consented. It was then ten o'clock at night. They roused up the minister, and the man laid the whole matter before him--how he had turned his wife out of doors because she had kept the Sabbath. "Now," said he, "did I do right in this and in saying to my daughter that if she kept the Sabbath she could not stay in my house? I want you to tell me, did I do right in thus treating my wife?" The minister answered, "You did perfectly right under the circumstances." The man responded with much vehemence, "No, I did not do right. I abused my wife, and was unkind and abusive to my child. I see now how shameful was my course in treating a woman, the mother of my children, in so heartless a manner." He then asked the forgiveness of his wife and said she should come back to his house. No restrictions should be placed upon her. She should be at liberty to do as she thought right. He felt greatly troubled over the course he had taken. So the wife was reinstated in her own home, more respected and loved than before this fiery opposition broke upon her. Our brethren think that the husband will be converted to the truth.--Ms. 5, 1894, pp. 3, 4.

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I had a lengthy interview with a sister of Sister Bowen. She has an unbelieving husband who opposes her violently and is cruel and abusive to her and to her children. She attended this meeting without his knowledge, on her way to visit her father and mother. She knows not what is before her. Her husband found her reading the Bible. He took the large family Bible, cut out the family record, besmeared its pages with kerosene oil, and threw it into the fire. He burns all her books and papers if he can find them. His ingenuity to discover anything that is of a religious character and consume it, is satanic. The enmity of Satan against God and the truth is not abated, and we need to be imbued with the Spirit of God.--Ms. 44, 1890, pp. 4-5

[Gerr]

This is in response to the title of the thread, not about marital abusive relationship.

To me tolerance is not to be tolerated when a moral principle is violated.

[Robert]

Since Christ is our example, I'll give you what He did and said:

"Love (agape) your enemies"

At the same time, while we are to love our enemies, that doesn't mean that we need to stand by and let someone beat on us. Christ didn't, but neither did He respond with violence:

John 8:57 The Jews said, "You're not even fifty years old - and Abraham saw you?" 58 "Believe me," said Jesus, "I am who I am long before Abraham was anything." 59 That did it - pushed them over the edge. They picked up rocks to throw at him. But Jesus slipped away, getting out of the Temple.

[Gerr]

Here's an example I just heard.

You are flying over the Pacific, and the flight attendant announces that the pilot is acting as if he has lost his mind. What are you going to do?

Or suppose you see a terrorist trying to explode a bomb on board the plane, you're not going to use force to stop him?

[Robert]

You are flying over the Pacific, and the flight attendant announces that the pilot is acting as if he has lost his mind. What are you going to do?

Or suppose you see a terrorist trying to explode a bomb on board the plane, you're not going to use force to stop him?

What did God do just before the terrorist flew two jets into the twin towers?

[Gerr]

Originally Posted By: Gerry Cabalo

You are flying over the Pacific, and the flight attendant announces that the pilot is acting as if he has lost his mind. What are you going to do?

Or suppose you see a terrorist trying to explode a bomb on board the plane, you're not going to use force to stop him?

What did God do just before the terrorist flew two jets into the twin towers?

I didn't ask God what He would do. I am asking you! Or are you putting yourself in His place?

[Guest]

To me tolerance is not to be tolerated when a moral principle is violated.

I agree, that would be intolerable.

[Woody]

We should give as much tolerance and we would want for ourselves.