You know you are a nurse if . . . .

[SMAN]

You would like to meet the inventor of the call light some night in a dark alley.

Your sense of humor gets more warped each year.

You know the smell of different diarrheas and can identify them.

You can tell the pharmacist more about the medication they are dispensing than they do.

You check the caller ID on your day off to see if anyone from the hospital is trying to call and ask you to work.

You've been telling stories in a restaurant and made someone at another table sick.

You notice that you are using more 4 letter words than you even knew before you started nursing.

Every time someone asks you for a pen you can find at least 4 of them on you.

You live by the motto: "To be right is only half the battle, to convince the doctor is more difficult."

You've told a confused patient that your name was that of your coworker …..so they will summon that other person if they need help.

Your bladder can expand to the size of a Winnebago's water tank, when needed.

You find yourself checking out other customer's veins in grocery waiting lines.

You avoid unhealthy looking shoppers in the mall for fear that they will drop near you and you'll have to do CPR on your day off.

Your finger has gone places you never thought dreamed possible.

You have seen more penises than any big city prostitute.

If you are not a nurse - - this will help you understand our mind set and clear up any questions about our mental status/sanity. Most of the time we function fairly normally and very responsibly in spite of our sick sense of humor.

[Gail]

SMAN!!!! So good to see you again!

Don't be a stranger! :)

[Liz]

That was hysterical!!!!

[Neil D]

OOOOOoooooohhhhhhhhhh man...are you going to get it from "The American Decency Forum"...You know darn good and well, they don't approve of words describing private parts of the body....especially those that are written out!!!!

And they definately are going to ask YOUR finger where it's been...Your finger may sever all ties to you.....or be severed....