SMAN Posted March 11, 2010 Posted March 11, 2010 The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air. Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out. The years went by and he continued to rip them off! Then, one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl which had the turkey innards, neck, gizzard, liver and any other spare parts and a malicious thought came to her. She picked up the bowl and quietly crept upstairs to the bedroom and very gently pulled back the bed covers, pulled open the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts. Some time later she heard her husband wake up with his usual trumpeting, which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom. The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, with tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had gotten him back pretty good. About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in badly stained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter. He said, "Honey, you were right. All these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you." "What do you mean?" asked his wife. "Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened. But, by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and these two fingers, I think I got most of them back in." Quote
Members rudywoofs (Pam) Posted March 11, 2010 Members Posted March 11, 2010 That's awful! **snicker** Quote Pam Meddle Not In the Affairs of Dragons; for You Are Crunchy and Taste Good with Ketchup. If we all sang the same note in the choir, there'd never be any harmony. Funny, isn't it, how we accept Grace for ourselves and demand justice for others?
karl Posted March 11, 2010 Posted March 11, 2010 She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter. He said, "Honey, you were right. All these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you." "What do you mean?" asked his wife. "Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened. But, by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and these two fingers, I think I got most of them back in." Took a lot of guts for him to admit that. Quote
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