"Kids' Letters From Camp."

[SMAN]

(From Bill Adler - Kid's Letters from Camp)

When parents "send" their kids to camp, they're trying to give them an experience of joy and friendship that will last a lifetime. But that may not be the message the kids "receive."

*"Dear Mom and Dad: Why did you send me to camp? What did I do wrong?"

*"Dear Mother and Dad: Please send me a picture of myself. I want to see how I looked when I was happy."

*"None of the kids tried to run away from camp since the counselor tied them to the bed."

*"Thank you for sending me the clothes, but I really need food."

*"I have only one real friend at camp, and I hate him."

*"Dear Mom and Dad: Everything at camp is okay, and I am learning how to eat and put on my clothes with my left arm."

[Neil D]

Hello Mudda

Hello fadda

Hello Muddah, hello Fadduh,

Here I am at Camp Grenada

Camp is very entertaining

and they say we'll have some fun if it stops raining.

I went hiking with Joe Spivy

He developed poison ivy

You remember Leonard Skinner

He got ptomaine poisoning last night after dinner.

All the counselors hate the waiters

And the lake has alligators

And the head coach wants no sissies

So he reads to us from something called Ulysses.

Now I don't want this should scare ya

But my bunkmate has malaria

You remember Jeffrey Hardy

They're about to organize a searching party.

Take me home, oh muddah fadduh, take me home, I hate Grenada

Don't leave me out in the forest where I might get eaten by a bear.

Take me home, I promise I will not make noise or mess the house with

other boys, oh please don't make me stay, I've been here one whole day.

Dearest fadduh, darling muddah,

How's my precious little bruddah?

Let me come home if ya miss me

I will even let Aunt Bertha hug and kiss me.

Wait a minute, it stopped hailing,

Guys are swimming, guys are sailing,

Playing baseball, gee that's better,

Muddah Fadduh kindly disregard this letter.

[Dottie]

Dontcha jus' luv Allan Sherman?

[SivartM]

"Dear Mom and Dad: What's an epidemic?"