Why is it so important that others be "right"

[Stan]

Why is it so important that others be "right" in their thoughts and thinking? AND why do so many get frustrated if they are not?

Churches split over some teaching. Others out side 'the church' find it trivial.

One religious group in my area, Sikhs, have had a huge split, which involved killing some, over Liberals (those who sit in chairs or pews) and Conservatives, (those who squat on the floor during worship etc)

I know one incident where Police were called because and offshoot was in one church handing out literature. The Police officer was in shock.

so "Why is it so important that others be "right"?"

[Woody]

Quote:

"Why is it so important that others be "right"?"

Well ... it's important that "I" b right. But, "others" ... can b wrong if they want. That's their privilege.

[Tom Wetmore]

Maybe it is a control issue.

We feel out of control if people do not conform to our way of thinking.

Maybe some feel threatened because they are insecure and feel a need to bolster their standing in their group by correcting others.

Correcting others gives one a sense of superiority.

Or maybe people are just confused about what is right and think it good because - "Absurdity reigns and confusion makes it look good."

Setting others straight makes your own idea seem right.

If everyone agrees everything seems all right.

And if everyone agrees with you, there is no need to take a second look at what you think is right.

And you feel in control and secure in what you think is right.

[Neil D]

Why is it so important that others be "right" in their thoughts and thinking?,,,,,

so "Why is it so important that others be "right"?"

short answer-

because it would be wrong otherwise....

And who wants to be 'wrong'...I suggest that we set up a dicotommy of being either totally wrong or totally right....You can't be in between because then there is this nic picking on percieved ideas that are just PLAIN wrong...or right...as the case maybe..

I think that everyone needs to be either right or wrong...none of this "inbetween stuff". It's just so confusing when one is sorta right and mostly wrong or when you are sorta wrong and mostly right....How can one find the totality of rightness or wrongness when the concepts are expressing areas of neither...Totally right and totally wrong breaks down life into colors of black and white...why would one want to create various shades of grey? Grey is such a drab color....

PS- [/tic]

[jvixie]

Why is it so important that others be "right" in their thoughts and thinking? AND why do so many get frustrated if they are not? ...

"Why is it so important that others be "right"?"

Because it gives me a secure feeling to know that they are "right" and that believe the same way I believe. That's the only way they can be right. Right?

And being right means that I am better than everyone else, we are ready for heaven, and I have some company ("Look at us, we're right"), but sometimes the reality of the idea is that it's only in our minds....which seems like maybe we're wrong.

Yeah, there are times when we get so worried about what other people think, and if they are not right, we are quick to straighten them out so they think and act like we do, instead of taking care of ourselves.

[phkrause]

Originally Posted By: Stan Jensen

Why is it so important that others be "right" in their thoughts and thinking? AND why do so many get frustrated if they are not? ...

"Why is it so important that others be "right"?"

Because it gives me a secure feeling to know that they are "right" and that believe the same way I believe. That's the only way they can be right. Right?

And being right means that I am better than everyone else, we are ready for heaven, and I have some company ("Look at us, we're right"), but sometimes the reality of the idea is that it's only in our minds....which seems like maybe we're wrong.

Yeah, there are times when we get so worried about what other people think, and if they are not right, we are quick to straighten them out so they think and act like we do, instead of taking care of ourselves.

Very good post jvixie, and welcome to the forum.

pk

[Dr. Shane]

I like the healthy exchange of ideas and sometimes I play the devil's advocate here on this forum. But in face-to-face real life, I often just let things go. I choose my battles wisely and have learned that many things are just not worth fighting about.

I have learned that often times I have the choice to be right or to be happy.

Ask yourself sometime, would you rather be right or be happy?

[jvixie]

.....Ask yourself sometime, would you rather be right or be happy?

Seems like it would be best to be both.

[Stan]

Woody

Both of us worship God in our own way

You in your way

and

Me in God's way.

:)

[Stan]

(that has a better impact when done in voice in person)

[Dr. Shane]

Originally Posted By: Shane

.....Ask yourself sometime, would you rather be right or be happy?

Seems like it would be best to be both.

If you are married you should know that both is not normally an option.

[jvixie]

"Seems like it would be best to be both."

If you are married you should know that both is not normally an option.

You are so RIGHT. You got me there.

[Woody]

Quote:

Very good post jvixie, and welcome to the forum.

pk

PK ... He's been on here 4 years longer than I have ... he just doesn't match my verbosity .

:)

[phkrause]

Woody thanks for telling me that. But I did realize that after I post that.

pk

[Bravus]

Donald Polkinghorne (the psychologist, not to be confused with John Polkinghorne, the theologian) has talked about the 'postmodern turn' as being in part a movement from 'metaphors of correctness to metaphors of utility'. Not so much 'is it true' as 'does it work' - and Dr Phil tends to ask the same question.

I think SDAism, though, tends to select for those who focus on 'is it true' type questions. The identity of the church is largely based on being the 'most correct' in terms of Biblical interpretation, and on outlining its position in terms of where it is right and others are wrong.

I think it's often a personality trait as much as anything else. I have many friends who used to be pastors, and very convinced of the truth of the gospel, and are now atheists, and very convinced of the truth of atheism. They're just as evangelical (in the non-technical sense of that term: the wish the evangelise) now as they were before: they've just decided something different is true.

I've always been more fluid in my belief structures - and keep getting berated for it by those who tend to be more rigid in their beliefs. That's because they tend to assume that everyone is like them... so if I claim to be unsure it must be because I'm fibbing, or concealing my 'real position' for some rhetorical purpose. They find it hard to believe that I just don't know, or that my real answer is 'it depends'...

Working on not judging others for the way they're wired up - even if it sometimes gets on our last nerve - is probably healthy for all of us.

And that's the truth.

[abelisle]

What's scary about all of this is the fear of many to assert that "I don't know", "I'm not sure?", "Maybe what he/she said is wrong?" It's also frightening for some to try to conceive of a life devoid of meaning if their belief system is found to be not the sure thing they thought it was.

I find that my highly educated agnostic/atheist friends are much more receptive to spiritual issues if I'm honest about my own uncertainties.

And the mention of "the postmodern turn" is quite significant for younger people. They want to know what our beliefs have done for us, not necessarily whether we can prove beyond a doubt the veracity of our beliefs. Also this postmodern turn reflects a sense of existential angst that Camus so clearly pointed to in his novel The Stranger when he spoke of the "benign indifference of the Universe".

The criticism I get from family and church friends is that I think too much. Gee - never thought that thinking can lead to eternal damnation! But we love each other anyway and that's what's most important.

As I'm writing this I'm reading and researching The Urantia Book that is for me illuminating the illumination that the SOP provides. In so doing, I'm finding out that certain things I thought were "right" might not necessarily be wrong but need some modification.

Finally, isn't quite anthropomorphic to think we will ever get it (whatever that might be) all "right!"

Alex

[Tom Wetmore]

Yes, some seem to be very uncomfortable with uncertainty and ambiguity. They even seem anxious to remove contradictions from a paradox.

The older I get the more certain I am that I am not certain. I do not know, or need to know and understand everything. I believe God loves a paradox and I am OK with that. I rather like mystery and exploring the unknown and unknowable. And if I don't get it right, no worries.

And that others are not quite right is OK since I may not be right either.

[Gail]

Many deep thoughts coming out of THIS question!

Sometimes I wonder if some of it has to do with the insecurity of being proven wrong. Personally I feel that there is peace in knowing one has the truth. Remember, believers in the past have died for what they believed.

Maybe some folks just need to be affirmed that their opinion counts.

[Dr. Rich]

Hmm? I hear what you said Alex. As a 'seeker' too, the older I get the more truth I want to know but when I find it, I also find that there is much more out there that I don't know.

So how does one reach a point where there is no lie in their mouth? (Rev. 14:5)

[Dr. Shane]

so if I claim to be unsure it must be because I'm fibbing, or concealing my 'real position' for some rhetorical purpose. They find it hard to believe that I just don't know, or that my real answer is 'it depends'...

Come on now, you can reveal your *real position* LOL

I can relate to being unsure. I am not *sure* there is a God. Although I choose to believe there is and believe the evidence supports that. But don't believe there is any 100% *proof*. I am not 100% sure the Bible is true, but comparing it with other world religions, I am quite confident that it is more likely to be true than the other options.

So rather than nourish my doubts, I have chosen to act as if the Bible is true and concern myself with what the Bible teaches rather than dwell on my doubts about whether or not it is the ultimate truth.

I do agree that the Adventist church tends to attract those pre-occupied with ultimate truth and those types of people are afraid of admitting they have any doubts.