Birthdays

[Woody]

We seem to be having a rash of birthdays here on Club Adventist lately. It caused me to reflect. Each year when my son's birthday comes by ... I wonder if there isn't some fatherly wisdom I should pass on to him. He's 24 now. Should I write him a letter filling him in on all the things I failed to teach him?

This reflection sent me in search of an answer in EGW's writings. The below is what she wrote to her son when he turned 19 :

Chap. 38 - A Birthday Letter

My Dear Son: I write this for your nineteenth birthday. It has been a pleasure to have you with us a few weeks in the past. You are about to leave us, yet our prayers shall follow you. {2T 261.2}

Another year of your life closes today. How can you look back upon it? Have you made advancement in the divine life? Have you increased in spirituality? Have you crucified self, with the affections and lusts? Have you an increased interest in the study of God's word? Have you gained decided victories over your own failings and waywardness? Oh, what has been the record of your life for the year which has now passed into eternity, never to be recalled? {2T 261.3}

As you enter upon a new year, let it be with an earnest resolve to have your course onward and upward. Let your life be more elevated and exalted than it has hitherto been. Make it your aim not to seek your own interest and pleasure, but to advance the cause of your Redeemer. Remain not in a position where you ever need help yourself, and where others

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have to guard you to keep you in the narrow way. You may be strong to exert a sanctifying influence upon others. You may be where your soul's interest will be awakened to do good to others, to comfort the sorrowful, strengthen the weak, and to bear your testimony for Christ whenever opportunity offers. Aim to honor God in everything, always and everywhere. Carry your religion into everything. Be thorough in whatever you undertake. {2T 261.4}

You have not experienced the saving power of God as it is your privilege, because you have not made it the great aim of your life to glorify Christ. Let every purpose you form, every work in which you engage, and every pleasure you enjoy, be to the glory of God. Let this be the language of your heart: I am thine, O God, to live for Thee, to work for Thee, and to suffer for Thee. {2T 262.1}

Many profess to be on the Lord's side, but they are not; the weight of all their actions is on Satan's side. By what means shall we determine whose side we are on? Who has the heart? With whom are our thoughts? Upon whom do we love to converse? Who has our warmest affections and our best energies? If we are on the Lord's side, our thoughts are with Him, and our sweetest thoughts are of Him. We have no friendship with the world; we have consecrated all that we have and are to Him. We long to bear His image, breathe His Spirit, do His will, and please Him in all things. {2T 262.2}

You should pursue so decided a course that none need to be mistaken in you. You cannot exert an influence upon the world without decision. Your resolutions may be good and sincere, but they will prove a failure unless you make God your strength and move forward with a firm determination of purpose. You should throw your whole heart into the cause and work of God. You should be in earnest to obtain an experience in the Christian life. You should exemplify Christ in your life.

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{2T 262.3}

You cannot serve God and mammon. You are either wholly on the Lord's side or on the side of the enemy. "He that is not with Me is against Me; and he that gathereth not with Me scattereth abroad." Some persons make their religious life a failure because they are always wavering and do not have determination. They are frequently convicted and come almost up to the point of surrendering all for God; but, failing to meet the point, they fall back again. While in this state the conscience is hardening and becoming less and less susceptible to the impressions of the Spirit of God. His Spirit has warned, has convicted, and has been disregarded, until it is nearly grieved away. God will not be trifled with. He shows duty clearly, and if there is a neglect to follow the light, it becomes darkness. {2T 263.1}

God bids you become a worker with Him in His vineyard. Commence just where you are. Come to the cross and there renounce self, the world, and every idol. Take Jesus into your heart fully. You are in a hard place to preserve consecration and to exert an influence which shall lead others from sin and pleasure and folly to the narrow way, cast up for the ransomed of the Lord to walk in. {2T 263.2}

Make an entire surrender to God; yield up everything unreservedly, and thus seek for that peace which passes understanding. You cannot draw nourishment from Christ unless you are in Him. If not in Him, you are a branch that is withered. You do not feel your want of purity and true holiness. You should feel an earnest desire for the Holy Spirit and should pray earnestly to obtain it. You cannot expect the blessing of God without seeking for it. If you used the means within your reach you would experience a growth in grace and would rise to a higher life. {2T 263.3}

It is not natural for you to love spiritual things; but you can acquire that love by exercising your mind, the strength of your being, in that direction. The power of doing is what

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you need. True education is the power of using our faculties so as to achieve beneficial results. Why is it that religion occupies so little of our attention, while the world has the strength of brain, bone, and muscle? It is because the whole force of our being is bent in that direction. We have trained ourselves to engage with earnestness and power in worldly business, until it is easy for the mind to take that turn. This is why Christians find a religious life so hard and a worldly life so easy. The faculties have been trained to exert their force in that direction. In religious life there has been an assent to the truths of God's word, but not a practical illustration of them in the life. {2T 263.4}

To cultivate religious thoughts and devotional feelings is not made a part of education. These should influence and control the entire being. The habit of doing right is wanting. There is spasmodic action under favorable influences, but to think naturally and readily upon divine things is not the ruling principle of the mind. {2T 264.1}

There is no need of being spiritual dwarfs if the mind is continually exercised in spiritual things. But merely praying for this, and about this, will not meet the necessities of the case. You must habituate the mind to concentration upon spiritual things. Exercise will bring strength. Many professed Christians are in a fair way to lose both worlds. To be half a Christian and half a worldly man makes you about one-hundredth part a Christian and all the rest worldly. {2T 264.2}

Spiritual living is what God requires, yet thousands are crying out: "I don't know what is the matter; I have no spiritual strength, I do not enjoy the Spirit of God." Yet the same ones will become active and talkative, and even eloquent, when talking upon worldly matters. Listen to such ones in meeting. About a dozen words are spoken in hardly an audible voice. They are men and women of the world. They have

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cultivated worldly propensities until their faculties have become strong in that direction. Yet they are as weak as babes in regard to spiritual things, when they should be strong and intelligent. They do not love to dwell upon the mystery of godliness. They know not the language of heaven and are not educating their minds so as to be prepared to sing the songs of heaven or to delight in the spiritual exercises which will there engage the attention of all. {2T 264.3}

Professed Christians, worldly Christians, are unacquainted with heavenly things. They will never be brought to the gates of the New Jerusalem to engage in exercises which have not hitherto specially interested them. They have not trained their minds to delight in devotion and in meditation upon things of God and heaven. How, then, can they engage in the services of heaven? how delight in the spiritual, the pure, the holy in heaven, when it was not a special delight to them upon earth? The very atmosphere there will be purity itself. But they are unacquainted with it all. When in the world, pursuing their worldly vocations, they knew just where to take hold and just what to do. The lower order of faculties being in so constant exercise, grew, while the higher, nobler powers of the mind, not being strengthened by use, are incapable of awaking at once to spiritual exercises. Spiritual things are not discerned, because they are viewed with world-loving eyes, which cannot estimate the value and glory of the divine above the temporal. {2T 265.1}

The mind must be educated and disciplined to love purity. A love for spiritual things should be encouraged; yea, must be encouraged, if you would grow in grace and in the knowledge of the truth. Desires for goodness and true holiness are right so far as they go; but if you stop here, they will avail nothing. Good purposes are right, but will prove of no avail unless resolutely carried out. Many will be lost while hoping

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and desiring to be Christians; but they made no earnest effort, therefore they will be weighed in the balances and found wanting. The will must be exercised in the right direction. I will be a wholehearted Christian. I will know the length and breadth, the height and depth, of perfect love. Listen to the words of Jesus: "Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled." Ample provisions are made by Christ to satisfy the soul that hungers and thirsts for righteousness. {2T 265.2}

The pure element of love will expand the soul for higher attainments, for increased knowledge of divine things, so that it will not be satisfied short of the fullness. Most professed Christians have no sense of the spiritual strength they might obtain were they as ambitious, zealous, and persevering to gain a knowledge of divine things as they are to obtain the paltry, perishable things of this life. The masses professing to be Christians have been satisfied to be spiritual dwarfs. They have no disposition to make it their object to seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness; hence godliness is a hidden mystery to them, they cannot understand it. They know not Christ by experimental knowledge. {2T 266.1}

Let those men and women who are satisfied with their dwarfed, crippled condition in divine things be suddenly transported to heaven and for an instant witness the high, the holy state of perfection that ever abides there,--every soul filled with love; every countenance beaming with joy; enchanting music in melodious strains rising in honor of God and the Lamb; and ceaseless streams of light flowing upon the saints from the face of Him who sitteth upon the throne, and from the Lamb; and let them realize that there is higher and greater joy yet to experience, for the more they receive of the enjoyment of God, the more is their capacity increased to rise higher in eternal enjoyment, and thus continue to receive new and

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greater supplies from the ceaseless sources of glory and bliss inexpressible,--could such persons, I ask, mingle with the heavenly throng, participate in their songs, and endure the pure, exalted, transporting glory that emanates from God and the Lamb? Oh, no! their probation was lengthened for years that they might learn the language of heaven, that they might become "partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust." But they had a selfish business of their own to engage the powers of their minds and the energies of their beings. They could not afford to serve God unreservedly and make this a business. Worldly enterprises must come first and take the best of their powers, and a transient thought is devoted to God. Are such to be transformed after the final decision: "He that is holy, let him be holy still," "he which is filthy, let him be filthy still"? Such a time is coming. {2T 266.2}

Those who have trained the mind to delight in spiritual exercises are the ones who can be translated and not be overwhelmed with the purity and transcendent glory of heaven. You may have a good knowledge of the arts, you may have an acquaintance with the sciences, you may excel in music and in penmanship, your manners may please your associates, but what have these things to do with a preparation for heaven? What have they to do to prepare you to stand before the tribunal of God? {2T 267.1}

Be not deceived. God is not mocked. Nothing but holiness will prepare you for heaven. It is sincere, experimental piety alone that can give you a pure, elevated character and enable you to enter into the presence of God, who dwelleth in light unapproachable. The heavenly character must be acquired on earth, or it can never be acquired at all. Then begin at once. Flatter not yourself that a time will come when you can make an earnest effort easier than now. Every day

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increases your distance from God. Prepare for eternity with such zeal as you have not yet manifested. Educate your mind to love the Bible, to love the prayer meeting, to love the hour of meditation, and, above all, the hour when the soul communes with God. Become heavenly-minded if you would unite with the heavenly choir in the mansions above. {2T 267.2}

A new year of your life now commences. A new page is turned in the book of the recording angel. What will be the record upon its pages? Shall it be blotted with neglect of God, with unfulfilled duties? God forbid. Let a record be stamped there which you will not be ashamed to have revealed to the gaze of men and angels.

Greenville, Michigan, July 27, 1868.

[Gordon1]

Since you've asked Woody, observation shows that most parents need first apologize for their mistakes & omissions. Without this I doubt much advice is heeded by the average twenty year old. Something best accomplished in person, with a backup letter for reflection.

Since EGW penned the birthday note in the context of eternity and the day of Judgment, we shouldn't approach the subject (parental advice) with any less gravity. She'd obviously considered these issues (crucifying self) at length, as witnessed in her writings.

Unfortunately, there seems little or no effort put forth by the Church to prepare its people for marriage or procreation. This could be one of Adventism's greatest sins of omission. The influence and destiny of offspring is a pivotal Biblical theme since Genesis 3:15 and the promises made to Noah (Gen. 7:3, 9:9) and Abram (Gen. 13:16). Little wonder the NT opens with the *generation* of begat, begat, begat.

In short, apart from Holy Writ & EGW, there's little to alert us to the profound implications of begetting another generation. So while marriage is strongly promoted within Adventism, there is scant forethought or preparation laid for raisng seed to meet a heavenly tribunal.

How receptive is any 24 year old male to fatherly wisdom? And if not, why?

[Woody]

Thanks for your thoughtful reply Gordon.

You make some good points.

Is there more that we as a CHURCH could do regarding preparation for marriage and procreation? Or ... is that the responsibility of the parents?

And NO ... by the time my son reached 24 ... I think I lost whatever influence opportunities I might have had.

[phkrause]

She definitely doesn't beat around the bush does she. I believe advice to our children goes in one ear and out the other.

According to EGW if in our formative years we don't get what we need its probably to late. I believe that would be our characters. So I'd say if we have good characters than as we age things will work out for us. We tried our best with our daughter, as she was growing up. As we look at her now we wonder what we did wrong. But we know that God loves our children much more than we do, so we leave it in his hands.

[Woody]

LOL. NO she didn't beat around the bush. I thought it was more like a sermon rather than a birthday letter to my 19 year old son!!! I saw little evidence of a letter between a mother and her son. Oh well. She was probably on auto-pilot.

[Gordon1]

PK & Woody,

Yes from what I've studied and observed, the most formative character training begins early. It may be largely complete by three years old. For this reason the characters of the parents play such a strong role, even pre-conception.

Indeed, the Church could do much to make this matter plain, but it is:

• delicate

• unpopular

• politically incorrect

• without precedent

• contrary to Church policy

• without broad professional support

The remedy is doctrinally pure marriage training, incorporating Bible & SOP principles, all in the light of the 2nd Advent. Not horse-out-of-the-barn pre-marital counselling. Education in proper principles from the ground up, in the home and in the church. Nothing gives God greater concern than soul salvation. Many couples should be dissuaded from tying the knot, but church policy favours marriage, with few exceptions, even with those of other faiths. (Married couples are more likely to render regular $upport, and children usually guarantee attendance). Since many pastors are themselves doubters or non-practitioners of SOP counsel, they would have a hard time teaching the same.

Is there more that we as a CHURCH could do regarding preparation for marriage and procreation? Or ... is that the responsibility of the parents?

Yes Woody, the parents have a role, but straight truth and doctrine must procede from the God's storehouse (treasury). Once versed in the truth, parents can impart it. And God can teach them directly. (1 John 2:27) But when men and women are supported from the storehouse tithe, they have a responsibility to bring forth soul-saving jewels from God. Words of truth which are fitly spoken like apples of gold in pictures of silver. In other words, the subject and study of marriage & partner suitability will take a central place in church teaching, not the proverb and byword shaking of the head.

What can the church do? Lead by example. What are five year olds thinking when they see slit skirts, wife-swapping and listen to those pulpit dating jokes? These five year olds are being trained for the ministry. And so it continues until the fourth generation.

[Woody]

Good Points Gordon.