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To tell ..... or NOT to tell


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Posted

That is the Question.

When the pastor preaches a sermon that is just not quite up to par .... Do you tell her? OR ... do you NOT tell her?

May we be one so that the world may be won.
Christian from the cradle to the grave
I believe in Hematology.
 

Posted

If she reads this, I guess she will know anyway. :)

I would create a new email account, and send her a critique as an anonymous church member. That might be considered dishonest, though...

"Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much." - Oscar Wilde

�Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you. This is the essence of all that is taught in the law and the prophets." - Jesus

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Posted

That is the Question.

When the pastor preaches a sermon that is just not quite up to par .... Do you tell her? OR ... do you NOT tell her?

You're the hubby- you can probably do it best.

Isaiah 32:17 And the work of righteousness shall be peace; and the effect of righteousness quietness and assurance for ever.

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Posted

Or, you can drop it and move on...

Isaiah 32:17 And the work of righteousness shall be peace; and the effect of righteousness quietness and assurance for ever.

Posted

First off, why was it not up to par? Was the theology not sound? Was the delivery just off? Did you just not like the subject matter? Were her facts wrong?

Once you decide for yourself why you didn't like the sermon, then you can better decide if it was because of the pastor or if it was simply your taste that caused the sermon to be off.

If it was in fact the pastor--by way of theology or facts, then by all means let her know, through helpful critism, such as---dear are you sure such and such really happened? I read that _______(fill in the blank) happened let's look at this together.

If you find that it just wasn't up to your taste, then by all means say nothing. Pastor cannot please everyone all the time, not even her spouse.

You are her biggest support, so the need to be tactful is of the essence.

((((BIGGIE HUGS)))) I know you will do the right thing, and in the right way.

For what will a man be profited, if he gains the whole world, and forfeits his soul? Mat. 16:26

Please, support the JDRF and help find a cure for Type 1 Diabetes. Please, support the March of Dimes.

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Posted

That is the Question.

When the pastor preaches a sermon that is just not quite up to par .... Do you tell her? OR ... do you NOT tell her?

You know what? I'd let it go. Take what was good, and forget the rest. Everyone has an "off" day.. just imho..

Pam     coffeecomputer.GIF   

Meddle Not In the Affairs of Dragons; for You Are Crunchy and Taste Good with Ketchup.

If we all sang the same note in the choir, there'd never be any harmony.

Funny, isn't it, how we accept Grace for ourselves and demand justice for others?

  • Moderators
Posted

I like your idea Pam.

A couple of weeks ago we visited a nearby church, and for the first half of the sermon the minister tried to explain away some theological point raised by the preacher the previous week, which had offended some in the congregation.

Not sure how well he succeeded.

Posted

Me too. That was the best suggestion of all.

Catherine

God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Psalm 73:26.

"To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable, because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you." -- C. S. Lewis

Posted

Good Insights Liz.

My pastor gives the best sermons around and year around. I praise her most every time I hear a sermon from her. I do. I love her sermons. But a recent sermon was just not up to par.

The problem was that she tried to cram WAY too much information into one sermon. WAY too much. I was lost. And she went well over-time. TMI

It was all good information. I didn't disagree with anything that was said. (at least that of which I could follow or comprehend).

Here is the issue as I see it ... I am used to her sermons that come from her heart and from MEMORY ... not just a factory of ideas read from a sheet. (Sorry dear pastor)

I think perhaps I am spoiled. But this one was well below par.

So, do I just shut my mouth? Or do I give her constructive feedback so she can learn?

May we be one so that the world may be won.
Christian from the cradle to the grave
I believe in Hematology.
 

Posted

If she feels that there is information the congregation needs, and can't get it into one reasonably sized sermon, she should divide it up into 2 sermons, or a series of sermons. We had a pastor who did that a few times. We certainly got a lot more out of it than if he'd tried to cram it all in in one sermon.

In this case, it probably would be best to speak with your wife. I'm sure she doesn't want to go to all that work only to have everyone lose it all because it was more than they could take in in one sitting. You probably weren't the only one.

Catherine

God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Psalm 73:26.

"To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable, because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you." -- C. S. Lewis

Posted

I agree, if there was just a lot of information, ask her to turn it into a series.

Our previous pastor was very big on series-type sermons. He would take one subject and then delve into it over the course of about three sermons, he could get very deep that way.

For what will a man be profited, if he gains the whole world, and forfeits his soul? Mat. 16:26

Please, support the JDRF and help find a cure for Type 1 Diabetes. Please, support the March of Dimes.

Posted

I want to add that when our pastor did his 2-part sermons, nobody missed showing up again for part 2. We were all anxious to hear the rest of it.

Catherine

God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Psalm 73:26.

"To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable, because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you." -- C. S. Lewis

  • Moderators
Posted

That is the Question.

When the pastor preaches a sermon that is just not quite up to par .... Do you tell her? OR ... do you NOT tell her?

Anybody can have a bad day, but if it is consistently bad, then I'd have a probelm, and would discreetly talk to the pastor about it.

Posted

I agree, if there was just a lot of information, ask her to turn it into a series.

Our previous pastor was very big on series-type sermons. He would take one subject and then delve into it over the course of about three sermons, he could get very deep that way.

Yes. I like it when it is done that way also.

Here is what I did: I gently told her I had a hard time attending and following the sermon. She asked why and I explained. She agreed with my suggestions and last Sabbath was the last to the two part series in the other church. It went very well from what I hear.

So .... all is well. But this question did come to my mind as this was the first time the opportunity came up. And I started to question myself as to under what circumstances .... I should voice my opinion.

May we be one so that the world may be won.
Christian from the cradle to the grave
I believe in Hematology.
 

  • Members
Posted

So basically what I'm getting Woody is that if everything about the sermon was up to snuff than it was the length that your complaining about and not that it was not up to par.

phkrause

When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice; But when a wicked man rules, the people groan. Proverbs 29;2
Posted

What she acknowledged was that there was to much information so it made it difficult to follow. Also ... it was not her usual style ... in that it wasn't a part of her. She didn't preach it from the heart. It was coming more from the brain part of the anatomy.

Taking the rush away from it by putting it in a series of two ... allowed her to be able to make it alive and for her to feel and be a part of it.

May we be one so that the world may be won.
Christian from the cradle to the grave
I believe in Hematology.
 

Posted

In all these years, this was the first time it came up? Wow! Way to go!

  • Moderators
Posted

Ask her how she felt it went? I guarantee that she thought it was a stinker too! Most of us know when we are below par. The challenge is how to raise it again.

Great spirits have always found violent opposition from mediocrities. The latter cannot understand it when a man does not thoughtlessly submit to hereditary prejudices but honestly and courageously uses his intelligence.

Einstein

Posted

In all these years, this was the first time it came up? Wow! Way to go!

Thanks for pointing this out Aubrey. Yes, this is most certainly true. And it IS amazing. No ... SHE is amazing.

May we be one so that the world may be won.
Christian from the cradle to the grave
I believe in Hematology.
 

Posted

Ask her how she felt it went? I guarantee that she thought it was a stinker too! Most of us know when we are below par. The challenge is how to raise it again.

Yes. She knew it was a stinker ... but she wasn't quite totally sure why. But now ... the entire internet WORLD knows it was a STINKER. And the world now knows that my wife is not perfect.

All brought to you by Woody.

May we be one so that the world may be won.
Christian from the cradle to the grave
I believe in Hematology.
 

Posted

And the world now knows that my wife is not perfect.

It's good to know your wife is normal.

Catherine

God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Psalm 73:26.

"To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable, because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you." -- C. S. Lewis

Posted

Quote:
It's good to know your wife is normal.

Yes it is GLG. For a few years there .... I was beginning to wonder. :)

Now I know.

May we be one so that the world may be won.
Christian from the cradle to the grave
I believe in Hematology.
 

  • Members
Posted

Originally Posted By: lazarus
Ask her how she felt it went? I guarantee that she thought it was a stinker too! Most of us know when we are below par. The challenge is how to raise it again.

Yes. She knew it was a stinker ... but she wasn't quite totally sure why. But now ... the entire internet WORLD knows it was a STINKER. And the world now knows that my wife is not perfect.

All brought to you by Woody.

Shame on you Woody, what a stinker you are, posting your dirty laundry on the internet. :)

phkrause

When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice; But when a wicked man rules, the people groan. Proverbs 29;2
Posted

My wife is not dirty laundry. :)

May we be one so that the world may be won.
Christian from the cradle to the grave
I believe in Hematology.
 

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