Jewish Haiku

[phkrause]

Beyond Valium,

peace is knowing one's child

is an internist.

On Passover we

opened the door for Elijah.

Now our cat is gone.

After the warm rain

the sweet smell of camellias.

Did you wipe your feet?

Her lips near my ear,

Aunt Sadie whispers the name

of her friend's disease.

Today I am a man.

Tomorrow I will return

to the seventh grade.

Testing the warm milk

on her wrist, she sighs softly.

But her son is forty.

The sparkling blue sea

reminds me to wait an hour

after my sandwich.

Like a bonsai tree,

is your terrible posture

at my dinner table.

Jews on safari --

map, compass, elephant gun,

hard sucking candies.

The same kimono

the top geishas are wearing:

I got it at Loehmann's.

The shivah visit:

so sorry about your loss.

Now back to my problems.

Mom, please! There is no

need to put that dinner roll

in your pocketbook.

Seven-foot Jews in

the NBA slam-dunking!

My alarm clock rings.

Sorry I'm not home

to take your call. At the tone

please state your bad news.Is one Nobel Prize

so much to ask from a child

after all I've done?

Today, mild shvitzing.

Tomorrow, so hot you'll plotz.

Five-day forecast: feh

Yenta. Shmeer. Gevalt.

Shlemiel. Shlimazl. Meshuganah

Oy! To be fluent!

A lovely nose ring,

excuse me while I put my

head in the oven.

Hard to tell under the lights.

White Yarmulke or

male-pattern baldness.

[Liz]

I loved the one about the cat.