Things not to say to a Police Officer if pulled over for speeding

[Stan]

"No I did not see the speed limit sign, I am blind as a bat when I do not have my glasses on"

(Add your own)

[Stan]

Office, my right foot turns to lead when I drink way too much.

[Stan]

Would a dozen donuts work?

[HeartSeeker]

"my other car will hit 200"

[HeartSeeker]

Officer;

sir, your eyes are bloodshot. Have you been drinking?

speeder;

No sir, yours are glazed, been eating donuts?

[GreatLakesGramma]

What's the matter? Couldn't catch the others?

(supplied by my son)

[Stan]

I am trying to rush to the service station before I run out of gas.

[Gerr]

Would a dozen donuts work?

Do Canadian troopers congregate in donuts shops also?

[Stan]

that happens, they are called doughnut shops, mostly at http://www.timhortons.com

[Liz]

Officer: Do you know why I pulled you over?

Offender: I was speeding, I rolled through that stop sign back there, I was weaving in and out of traffic, I was driving on the sidewalk? Take your pick. But maybe it was when I nearly ran you over? Was that the straw that broke the camel's back?

[doug yowell]

What's your badge number,officer?

[doug yowell]

I need to call my attorney!

[Stan]

Repeat everything the officer says.

[Guest]

If you would just hold this jar o liquor for a minute, I'll see if I can find my license.

[Stan]

please. please, please don't ask to look in the trunk, please.

[bonnie]

When the officer asks you if you know how fast you were going and if you had a good reason Don't say, PLease don't give me a ticket because he will beat me again and point at your sleeping husband. Men have no sense of humor

[John317]

How much money do you want?

Or: My father is a police officer (or judge) in this county and I'm sure he knows you.

What's funny is that these are some of the very things you should definitely say to police in Mexico. It's the way business is done down there.

If you have an accident there, the police come and decide on the spot who is at fault and who pays who and how much. Just hope the other person involved in the accident isn't a friend of anyone on the police department, because if he is, it won't matter how the accident occurred. Mexicans don't get angry or complain about this because it's expected and they know that complaining about it would be as effective as complaining about lightning.

[rudywoofs (Pam)]

"I was just following the flow of traffic.."

(I tried that one once, and got told, "Uhm, you were leader of the pack..")

[phkrause]

I never waste my time defending myself. If I can do the crime, I pay the fine.

When they ask me if I know what they pulled me over for, I answer, for speeding I guess. Than they ask if I knew how fast I was traveling, I answer back, why don't you tell me? And when they tell me, I say only that fast, wow you caught me on a slow day. or I just ask where do I sign. LOL. Haven't got a speeding ticket for many years. I usually don't speed with people in the car. :)