As Christians, how much help are we required to give to people?

[Doug]

I am trying to help someone but I feel like I might be being taken advantage of slightly.

If someone came from out of town, didn't have anything to their name but the clothes on their backs, how much is enough? Would you let them stay rent free until they got a job and housing?

I am in a situation where the person is a Christian and I think they are trying to guilt-trip me into doing this. Their response was when the head of the house I am renting asked for some financial support "Well true Christian shouldn't ask for money".

I don't have a response to that.

[rudywoofs (Pam)]

You should have said, "True Christians shouldn't *have* to be asked."

[Bravus]

How readest thou?

[Doug]

How readest thou?

I am not 100% sure what you are asking.

[Bravus]

Sorry, it's a Bible quote, from Luke 10:

Quote:

25 And, behold, a certain lawyer stood up, and tempted him, saying, Master, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?

26

He said unto him, What is written in the law? how readest thou?

27 And he answering said, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy strength, and with all thy mind; and thy neighbour as thyself.

28 And he said unto him, Thou hast answered right: this do, and thou shalt live.

29 But he, willing to justify himself, said unto Jesus, And who is my neighbour?

30 And Jesus answering said, A certain man went down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and fell among thieves, which stripped him of his raiment, and wounded him, and departed, leaving him half dead.

31 And by chance there came down a certain priest that way: and when he saw him, he passed by on the other side.

32 And likewise a Levite, when he was at the place, came and looked on him, and passed by on the other side.

33 But a certain Samaritan, as he journeyed, came where he was: and when he saw him, he had compassion on him,

34 And went to him, and bound up his wounds, pouring in oil and wine, and set him on his own beast, and brought him to an inn, and took care of him.

35 And on the morrow when he departed, he took out two pence, and gave them to the host, and said unto him, Take care of him; and whatsoever thou spendest more, when I come again, I will repay thee.

36 Which now of these three, thinkest thou, was neighbour unto him that fell among the thieves?

37 And he said, He that shewed mercy on him. Then said Jesus unto him, Go, and do thou likewise.

[abelisle]

I had a situation like this years ago when I took in a teenage Russian defector who was sleeping in the pews in our church. He wasn't a Christian though.

He stayed with us for about two years and during that time I tried to help him through Amnesty International but they were more interested in high profile cases. Ironically it was the Catholic archdiocese headquarters in NYC that provided the most help. Our Adventist church's only helpful suggestion from my pastor at that time was, "Maybe if he becomes baptized, we can help him?"

My wife and I took him in because we felt that we would like other Christians to do the same if one of our children were in his situation. I honestly don't know if we would take in a homeless vagrant from the street considering all the mental issues some of them have?

But your question is "Should I help if if I feel I'm being ripped off?" The few instances I've had with that, I reasoned that I did what I thought was right and I would let God be the judge of the recipient.

Alex

[Doug]

I am somewhat familiar with that quote. I noticed that the Samaritan sent the stranger on his way once he fed and nursed his wounds. Our stranger wants to stay for a couple months.

[Bravus]

I think there are limits, and that it's appropriate to expect anyone living in a home to take a fair share in the work of keeping the home operating - and if a person doesn't have a job then a greater share of home chores, indoors and out, is a reasonable expectation.

At the same time, Jesus seemed to be all about excessive, sacrificial, undeserved giving. "If someone asks for your coat, give your shirt too. If someone asks you to go one mile, go two." That's not about limiting what we give when we're asked, that's about giving more than we're asked.

And it's a hard saying. But it's Jesus' answer to the thread-opening question...

[Doug]

I think I have gone above and beyond, compared to other people in my church. he called several of them and I was the only one who could really do anything. Most of us are in the same situation, limited housing, limited resources and school/children/job obligations.

The person who owns the house is about to send hi on his way, based on him wanting to visit a friend for Thanksgiving and then coming back, he has established here as his home, but the owner has has several bad experiences over the years with people not wanting to leave or make an attempt to find housing.

[fccool]

financial support "Well true Christian shouldn't ask for money". I don't have a response to that.

My response would be... true Christians would want to be fair. Your first responsibility is to your family... then to the neighbor. If you prioritize your neighbor above family, you may run into some issues.

I commend you for help and tolerance, yet the first indicator is someone's attitude. If they act like you owe something to them... don't do it. You will not be helping them out by giving more. You will only be feeding and re-enforcing the attitude, which will do more damage down the road. I've seen it happen just recently.

It maybe the case of "I have no place to go"... in which case it's not really my business to give you advice. Yet, in most cases, the attitude of "The world owes it to me" is the exact thing that gets a lot of people in situations where they have to rely on everyone else.

[bonnie]

I think I have gone above and beyond, compared to other people in my church. he called several of them and I was the only one who could really do anything. Most of us are in the same situation, limited housing, limited resources and school/children/job obligations.

The person who owns the house is about to send hi on his way, based on him wanting to visit a friend for Thanksgiving and then coming back, he has established here as his home, but the owner has has several bad experiences over the years with people not wanting to leave or make an attempt to find housing.

There are several biblical quotes involving the sluggard,lazy and slothful. One says "if a man does not work he shall not eat".

The story of the Good Samaritan" is used many times to indicate never ending charity and a sign of a christian to provide that.

Right off I can not think of any miracle Christ provided that did not involve the recipient taking part and doing something no matter how small the act.

The paralyzed man at the pool was told "to pick up his bed and walk".He did not say"Christ,if you are really a christian you would not ask me to do that.You pick it up and give it to me"

I always get a kick out of those that believe YOU are supposed to do more according to scripture.Now that many know of this man's plight it would be nice to see the donations pour in.Hundreds will read this so are aware this man claims to need help.Most of us reading this could spare 10.00 and many doing that would provide for this man.

If I see someone on the street corner that is hungry and cold,I would help them no questions asked.If I saw same man the following week I would help them again.The third week we would have a serious talk on any actions he has taken to help himself while providing food for him.The 4th week if he had not progressed beyond where he was my aid would go to those that show a willingness to help themselves.

If this man "were christian" he would not have to be asked to do everything he possibly could to pay his way.Whether financially or manual labor while actively seeking any job that would produce a paycheck

[Gerr]

I am sure that some of the people I've helped in the past had taken advantage of me. My philosophy, however, is that that is their problem. I'd rather be on the short end than have to deal with my conscience & second thoughts whether I'd really done the right thing. But I sympathize with your dilemma. Acting ethically & morally is not always an easy matter compared to acting through prescribed ethical/moral decisions.

[Doug]

If I see someone on the street corner that is hungry and cold,I would help them no questions asked.If I saw same man the following week I would help them again.The third week we would have a serious talk on any actions he has taken to help himself while providing food for him.The 4th week if he had not progressed beyond where he was my aid would go to those that show a willingness to help themselves.

If this man "were christian" he would not have to be asked to do everything he possibly could to pay his way.Whether financially or manual labor while actively seeking any job that would produce a paycheck

I am weary of giving people money because it really doesn't help their situation, it is just to help them get their fix or whatever. Few to none take the initiative and try to rise up.

All he said is that he had $100 to his name. When asked what he could contribute he said "kindness". There really isn't much to do here. I just couldn't with a clear conscience let him go out on the streets. My family told me that I should have just said we didn't have any room and let him fend or himself. he is a college graduate.

[phkrause]

I am weary of giving people money because it really doesn't help their situation, it is just to help them get their fix or whatever. Few to none take the initiative and try to rise up.

All he said is that he had $100 to his name. When asked what he could contribute he said "kindness". There really isn't much to do here. I just couldn't with a clear conscience let him go out on the streets. My family told me that I should have just said we didn't have any room and let him fend or himself. he is a college graduate.

Doug as long as you feel that you did the right thing, that's all that really matters. God knows our hearts and motive's. We will all answer to him.

[Liz]

Just my 2 cents....

"Help" doesn't always have to come in the form of money, it can also be time, effort or energy. And you don't have to help any one person indefinitely if you don't want to. The Good Samaritan, bound up the man's wounds, took him to an inn, and gave the innkeeper money for right then and also should the innkeeper spend anything. But then it was over, the Samaritan didn't take care of the man for the rest of his life.

One can always put a time limit on how long the help will last. There is a fine line between helping and enabling, and it shouldn't be crossed.

[GreatLakesGramma]

It also depends on your own resources. You should not be spending yourself into debt to provide for someone who is doing nothing whatsoever to provide for his own needs. Nowhere in the Bible does it tell us to support parasites. In fact, as Bonnie pointed out, it says just the opposite.

Since the owner of the house is planning to send him packing, it's out of your hands. And it's probably a good thing, not just for you, but for the young man who needs to take responsibility for his own situation.

The fact that he is using Christianity to manipulate you is a very big red flag.

[bonnie]

It isn't a question of how many times to help a person.For me,rather it is how many times is good for a able bodied recipient to live on charity and kindness of others.

For those that would seem to believe you should keep right on giving set up a paypal account so they can participate.

In time dependnecy on others breeds contempt and a entitlement attitude.

[bonnie]

I always find it interesting that every time the subject comes up, the majority of the posts are about how we can limit ourselves from helping......

I wonder what posts you have been reading. It is not about limiting ourselves from helping.It is about pouring good after bad to those that make a practise out of leaching from others.

Helping another is not about giving what you have to give to one party that is not making an effort no matter how small.

You may be independently wealthy where you have unlimited means to support able bodied individuals.Most of us don't.

I don't see anything christian about using limited means for able bodied people and not have anything to work with for those that just need a boost.

How you choose to help a individual and for how long when they are capable of helping themselves is your business.

For me I will continue to use what I have to give on as many as I can manage.When someone I have chosen to help chooses to take without making some effort I will move on to those who will make an effort no matter how small to help themselves with the hand up they have been given.

That may not meet your definition of a christian,but I don't have to live up to what you define as christian.

Maybe this another area where "do not cast your pearls before swine" fits

[Bravus]

The answer to the question asked in the thread title is "more than is rational, fair or safe". That is what Jesus said, and that is what Jesus did. Maybe we have to 'live in the real world' and rationalize limiting our risk: but that's a different question. Crazy giving is what Jesus showed God requires.

[GreatLakesGramma]

It isn't helping anyone to enable them in unnecessary dependency.

[Tom Wetmore]

I always find it interesting that every time the subject comes up, the majority of the posts are about how we can limit ourselves from helping......

Yes, I have noticed that too... It seems more than a little disturbing, IMHO.

[phkrause]

I always find it interesting that every time the subject comes up, the majority of the posts are about how we can limit ourselves from helping......

[Doug]

When they say limit, what I got from people is that you dont go helping people to the point where they are completely depemding on you, not for you being uncomfortable.

[bonnie]

It seems we are in a minority here...buts that's okay! Well, no it isn't. Just when I hope that we can give Cardw some reason to see that we christianity, do have others first and foremost, posting continue to support his view.

Ah, its not that bad! We have 3770 registered members and I suspect the idea of 'how much are we required' is most likely held by a very small percentage! Can only hope!!

How long if you were in Dougs shoes would you support a able bodied educated young man?

A young man that felt it unchristian for the giver to expect responsible behavior and could give nothing more than kindness?

6 months,a Year,5 years,10 years?

How long would you encourage and enable this young man to take advantage of others?

[bonnie]

Originally Posted By: CoAspen

I always find it interesting that every time the subject comes up, the majority of the posts are about how we can limit ourselves from helping......

Yes, I have noticed that too... It seems more than a little disturbing, IMHO.

What is more disturbing is the willingness to point fingers because others do not agree with your vision of christian charity.

My husband and I had a young woman enter our lives when she was 15.She is now 48. The only part of helping her all those years that we don't regret is we were able to help her children from time to time.Our unfailing continued help for over 20 years aided and abetted her destructive behavior.

She is no longer welcome in our home.She has stolen from me,borrowed money that was never repaid,lied when ever the mood struck her. I did finally tell her no more. She told a acquaintance that she didn't believe I meant it after all these years.She did not spend to long in regret tho,she went on to fleece others.

Her children can no longer put up with the self centered behavior and have little to do with her. She has used and abused everyone that has tried to help her.

My refusal to help her any longer hasn't anything to do with help for others.

You seem to feel a moral superiority but you haven't a clue the help,money etc any of us give to those in need.

If you have such a burden for this non-working,well educated,able bodied young man,get together with others that feel as you do and give Doug a financial hand in coming to this young mans aid.