Marriage slowly dying

[Woody]

May I ask a question?

Is a legal divorce a Biblical divorce? What I mean is that just because one spouse leaves another ... that doesn't mean that they are biblically no longer husband and wife does it?

The State may feel that they are no longer husband and wife ... but to God they remain married do they not?

That is unless there was adultry which would biblically allow for divorce.

Any help here from the theologians.

A good book I read some time ago on the topic was "The Divorce Myth" by J. Carl Laney. But I've forgotten much of what it said now. I will have to get it out and review it.

[Overaged]

It's a complex issue, for sure!

I don't think that love is enough. One of my husband's exes told him, "I love you but I'm not in love with you," as she left him. In that case I think that commitment would have made a difference.

How is this kind of "committment" possible without love?

[Overaged]

Is a legal divorce a Biblical divorce?

Conversely, one could ask: "Is it a Biblical marriage?"

Often, in a legal marriage, one of the spouses will be committing adultery, and this includes what he/she has in their mind, and so going by the biblical definition, are they really "husband and wife?"

[Dr. Shane]

Often times a believer marries an unbeliever. That is against the will of God. They are married in the eyes of the state. Are they married in the eyes of God?

I had a Catholic friend that married a non-Catholic. They got divorced within two years. Later he decided to marry a Catholic girl. The priest asked if they had ever been married and both answered no. Later the priest called my friend in alone and told him he had learned about his first marriage and wanted an explanation. My friend told the priest that his first wife wasn't Catholic so he did not believe he was married in the eyes of God or that the church would consider that a marriage. The priest agreed with that logic and married my friend and his Catholic bride.

Which does God hate more? Divorce or marrying an unbeliever?

[Overaged]

Which does God hate more? Divorce or marrying an unbeliever?

God is not in the business of playing favorites. Right is right, wrong is wrong.

[MariaS]

well said, thanks for sharing this

Quote:

If we want marriage to be based on love, than divorce must be an option. People should stay married because they love each other.

This sounds good, but is fatally flawed. People make vows in front of "God and these witnesses." As C.S. Lewis speaks of chastity, there's no point in urging chastity on people who don't keep their word.

People should stay married because they gave their word. They should stay married because they owe it to their children. And don't waste time talking about children in an abusive home. 1. There's no excuse for abuse at any time, and 2. it's a false choice.

Loving the one you married is a choice. It is also a series of thousands of little choices. I told my son, "Tell your wife she is beautiful every day. And the great reward for both of you is that she will be." Nothing makes a woman more beautiful than being loved.

We just celebrated our 42nd anniversary. A number of years ago, we went through church planter assessment, a pretty grueling set of tests. At the exit interview, we were told, "All of our assessors envy your marriage."

We replied, "Thanks. We fought like hell to keep it." And that's the truth. We taught our childrent that marriage is all we know of heaven, and all we need of hell. Marriages don't happen, they're worked at.

Ruth Graham, Billy's wife, was asked at their 50th anniversary if she ever considered divorce. She shook her head, "Divorce, never. Murder often."

In a marriage, two imperfect people try to become one. It's not easy, it's joyously difficult. My wife and I love each other more every day. But there have been rough times. We stay married because we're in love. But we stay in love because we work at it.

[olger]

My wife and I are conducting seminars everywhere we can with the youth to encourage & instruct them on this topic.

We have a camp/revival meeting this year, a week of prayer at the college in Norway, and a fall seminar in Detroit. There are so many things to share and so little time. Just do what you can - as the song says.

There is hope!

g

[olger]

Originally Posted By: rudywoofs

It begins in the home' date='not academy. Divorce should be a word that is stricken from the language of a marriage. There are times for safety etc it must be,but if divorce is never considered a option you look for means to fix it.

In March we will have been married 49 years. It never should have worked.He came from a stromg catholic family where if dad said move,you moved and didn't care where. My dad a gentle giant and a mother that wrote the first book on women's lib(I think}

But divorce was never to be considered

I married very young and many mornings I can remember waking up and thinking"Dear God,what did I do" I am sure he can say the same but divorce just wasn't in the cards. Fix it if you had to beat them over the head{figuretavily}.The babies deserve mom and dad together. [/quote'] Good post, Bonnie.

Good old fashioned gumption & resolve are in great need.

g