The finality of death - in memory of my father

[abelisle]

My father died Monday night at 8:32 p.m. We don't know for sure since no one in the nursing home was by his side at the moment of death but at least we have something solid to hold on to considering that death is still one of the biggest mysteries we have as human beings.

My father was very much loved by family and friends. His extroverted personality had a magic that drew him to others and others were likewise drawn to him. I never learned if he was taught that by the way he was nurtured as a child or whether he was simply born with a genetic disposition to being friendly. As for myself, I didn't follow in his footsteps, not that I'm unfriendly but definitely not as outgoing as he was.

Now that he is gone, I am stuck wondering what death is all about? As a Christian, I'm supposed to be confident that death is just a temporary stop in the walk of life leading to eternal life in Heaven if we are deemed worthy by they way we lived our temporal life here on Earth. But that doesn't stop me from thinking about death in a philosophical rather than spiritual way.

Just how does one deal with its "finality"? I will never see, speak to, touch, hold, run, or laugh with my father again. Granted, he still and will forever live in my memory but that's not the same. I'm curious. How does an agnostic or atheist deal with the idea of death? What happens after we die?

That's where the comfort of religion kicks in. The finality of death is tempered by a possibility of life hereafter but what does an agnostic or atheist have to temper this finality? Guess I'll just have to ask some of my friends who fall into this category. As for myself, I believe that no matter what they "don't" believe in, God loves them anyway. Won't they be surprised if and when they end up in Heaven! Maybe some will have to be dragged in over their protestations. LOL

You see, I know all the "bad" stuff about my father and so does God. I'm hoping God is gracious and will consider his whole life rather than focus on his foibles. And you know what - even if my father doesn't get to go to Heaven, he made a heaven of things here on Earth the way he loved and cared for other people. It was amazing to see how many people in and out of the church, spiritual and secular who he touched and helped reflect God's love through his actions.

Most of his life was dedicated to building a church in this part of the Bronx through hard work, and sacrifice but most importantly loving as many people as he could and watching this love grow and spread resulting in the successful planting of a church here in Morris Park in the Bronx. It wasn't through the traditional evangelistic crusades but through the way he loved and cared for people. All one has to do is look at all the people who commented about his death on the respective facebook pages of my daughter and myself.

Love conquers all. My father's love for others trumped his death. His life revealed the personality of Jesus Christ who met people where they were , seeked to know them and their interests and loved them unconditionally.

I will never be able to fill his shoes. Hopefully he will be able to walk in Jesus' footsteps through eternity.

Here are 2 poems I wrote about my dad:

Hello in there

I gently stroke my hand on my father's head - the good side

The one not paralyzed. His good eye sees me and its window opens

To the mind that I have just awakened

"Pops, hello! How do you feel?"

He weakly answers "Good" as I wonder what's really going on in there

If I could only ease his pain

Put him on his feet again

Run with him just one more time.

Only half of his mouth moves, his lips weakly trying to form words

How I wish I could promise him he'll get better

But he's comfortably numb - I don't know what that's like

I tell myself I don't want to go like this

When I was child I caught a fleeting glimpse of what it meant to be a man

I cannot put my finger on it now.

The child is grown, the dream is gone.

I have become comfortably numb

"Hello, hello, is anybody in there?"

His good side answers, "Yes, I'm still here"

Like you are now

Comfortably numb.

Running with my Father

My father lies semi-conscious in his hospital bed

But we ran together this morning in the early morning mist

This time I held his hand in mine as he did when I was a child

"Run faster, Dad. I can beat you!" and he let me - what did I know?

Along the river's edge I thought of all those stories he told me

His Bible in his hand, those archetypal stories reaching deep into my little heart

Were they real? how come the Bible sounded different when he read it to me?

Teaching me to pray, I knew I had more than one Father

A comfort in the time of trouble

Across the grassy green parkland I looked at him and saw his smile

The laugh I'll never forget, the smile that encompassed his whole body

His joy for life - we ran together him and I - his footsteps were large

No getting lost with him. We raced together once, that 5K in the woods

He was my age then and never winced as the hills kept coming and coming

"You did great Pops! How do you feel?" His smile was the answer.

I ran a little faster as I neared the end of my run with him

I wanted to gather all my memories as my heartbeat stirred ever faster

What little time I had left was going to be my memories of him

We finished together in the mist this morning. I had more than mist in my eyes.

I stopped my watch, walked in the doorl and cried. He cried too but we did it together

My father and I.

Alex

[Gail]

Awww, very nice, Alex! I thank God that we have a plan of salvation that includes victory over that ol' enemy, death! You WILL see your father again!

(((( Alex ))))

[Gordon1]

My condolences Alex.

[phkrause]

Awesome poems Alex. I think you've hit on an aspect of Christianity that other religions can't promise and that's eternal life. We have a Saviour, Jesus Christ, who promise's us this. All we have to do is believe on him. No other religion does this, at least not that I know of. We have a hope that others don't have. When my dad died I felt sad but at the same time I knew that we would be reunited when our Lord comes to get us. That doesn't mean that I don't miss him. I see so many who have nothing to look forward to when that time comes and they are no more.