Are grief recovery groups any good?

[LynnDel]

Have any of you attended a grief recovery group? Have you found it helpful? On the advice of many, I was going to go to one offered by our local hospice, but they told me it was too soon, and they advised waiting until their next group in August. Weird advice, I thought. Maybe they didn't have room in their current group. Went to a hospice counselor and just found the whole thing very awkward.

My daughter attended a grief recovery group at an Adventist hospital twice and said it was "horrible" both times. Said the facilitator wasn't that great and spent most of his time talking about his job prospects.

Anybody have any positive experiences?

LD

[Guest]

Linn, follow your daughters advice and stay clear of these people trying to get into your mind. It is an insult to heaven to tell any mortal your problems. Drinking from broken cisterns can NEVER quench your thirst.

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"When perplexities arise, and difficulties confront you, look not for help to humanity. Trust all with God. The practice of telling our difficulties to others only makes us weak, and brings no strength to them. It lays upon them the burden of our spiritual infirmities, which they cannot relieve. We seek the strength of erring, finite man, when we might have the strength of the unerring, infinite God.

You need not go to the ends of the earth for wisdom, for God is near. It is not the capabilities you now possess or ever will have that will give you success. It is that which the Lord can do for you. We need to have far less confidence in what man can do and far more confidence in what God can do for every believing soul. He longs to have you reach after Him by faith. He longs to have you expect great things from Him. He longs to give you understanding in temporal as well as in spiritual matters. He can sharpen the intellect. He can give tact and skill. Put your talents into the work, ask God for wisdom, and it will be given you." COL 146

[Pockey]

Ed, what about those trained in counseling and therapy, and specifically those led by God to serve others through counseling and therapy? I agree we should turn to God for life eternal, but does not God often work through man to help us?

[Guest]

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Ed, what about those trained in counseling and therapy, and specifically those led by God to serve others through counseling and therapy? I agree we should turn to God for life eternal, but does not God often work through man to help us?

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This is the easyist question I have had to answer all this week. I submit to you that those so trained with a degree hanging on their wall "through counseling and therapy" were just trained wrong!!! Correct advice that a child of God is authorized to administer comes from the word of God, not from a abundance of sick textbooks from those that sit at the feet of the prevert Sigmund Freuid.

[Restin]

I don't believe any group therapy is any good. As one who is in a position to know, group members just wallow in their misery. Honest questions from earnest members are ignored, and just a spring-board for more self centered comment around the circle. Also is a place for guys to find girls, or any other combo you can think of.

I say, one-on-one with a sincere, good therapist is ideal for recovery. You know, it doesn't matter so much what orientation a therapist has as long as he is ethical, well-trained, and caring.

[Guest]

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I don't believe any group therapy is any good. As one who is in a position to know, group members just wallow in their misery. Honest questions from earnest members are ignored, and just a spring-board for more self centered comment around the circle. Also is a place for guys to find girls, or any other combo you can think of.

I say, one-on-one with a sincere, good therapist is ideal for recovery. You know, it doesn't matter so much what orientation a therapist has as long as he is ethical, well-trained, and caring.

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This first pragraph should be cast in stone and dispayed on all courthouse lawns.

The second pragraph is tainted because it has a measure of truth making it MORE DEADLY!!! Sorry try again.

[Nan]

Ed what is your opinion of people who are grieving receiving support from Christian friends, who have trod the road before? I am not talking about recovery groups. Just interested in your take on this, because from your posts I am not sure what your attitude is. Paul does tell us to weep with those who weep.

[Guest]

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Ed what is your opinion of people who are grieving receiving support from Christian friends, who have trod the road before? I am not talking about recovery groups. Just interested in your take on this, because from your posts I am not sure what your attitude is. Paul does tell us to weep with those who weep.

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Nan I see nothing wrong with identifying your problem with someone, just move on to the solution, which is Jesus. All His biddings are enabelings!! Hurting people need help, not a hindrance by the spin us mortal send as an attachment.

[cricket]

LynnDel,

Consider for a moment whether or not being a part of Club Adventist has been good for you. It is a "recovery group" of sorts. It has all the benefits of and negative aspects as any group will.

All I'm trying to say is that those people who believe that speaking with other abou their problems is wrong, are people who are unable to see the big picture: they are participating in group therapy as they speak. It's just a different setting.

Group therapy can be an excellent thing, LynnDel. It was a wonderful stepping stone for me in my own recovery from depression. A stepping stone, I say, because it helped me on my journey back to God.

I encourage you to continue seeking a group. The dynamics of one group may not suit your style, but there will likely be one somewhere that you will feel very comfortable with.

Call a center for depression and ask their advice. In general, they will know somewhat of the dynamics of the groups available (yes, they even have infomation about grief recovery support groups).

Chrys

[Gail]

I do think that there is a time for us to minister to each other, when a hug and gentle word can do much to help ease pain. In times like that we can be Jesus' hands to share burdens

Not saying that it would be healthy to stay in that place, for I think that Ed is saying that one should be able to gain and see some progress through the healing process.

But there is a time to rest in Christ's love and in the care of godly fellowbelievers

[Nan]

A good recovery group will see the members move through phases and ultimately disband - that was the teaching when I studied the matter some years ago. (As part of a study course, I have never been a member of such a group).

[Guest]

2 Cor 1

"3": Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort;

"4": Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.

"5": For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also aboundeth by Christ.

"6": And whether we be afflicted, it is for your consolation and salvation, which is effectual in the enduring of the same sufferings which we also suffer: or whether we be comforted, it is for your consolation and salvation.

OK..how can this be applied for this thread???

[cricket]

I give up.

Does it mean we shouldn't hug another person when they're feeling bad? Let God alone do the hugging?

[Pockey]

I believe just the opposite. Verse 3,4: Praise God who comforts us, that we may comfort others just as He comforts us! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

[cricket]

Amen

[Nan]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">Quote:</font><hr />

that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.

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Doesn't this encourage each of us to comfort others?

[Pockey]

Absolutely! (Christine's comment was tongue in cheek <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> )

[cricket]

Yaaw. Ish kinn-tha haar doo daach tith way. Ow!

(Bit my tongue.)

[Guest]

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that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.

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Doesn't this encourage each of us to comfort others?

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AMEN! But true comfort from God NEVER comes from anyone tainted with these selfhelp books by sinsick authors themselves. It is an abomination for these grief counselors, trained at the feet of that pervert to enter the schools system when there is a national tragedy. {school shooting & such}

[Nan]

And I am much to kind to say it serves you right (Running away very fast) <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

[LifeHiscost]

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Have any of you attended a grief recovery group? Have you found it helpful?

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I'm not sure whether the group we (spouse and self) went to could be classified as a recovery group. It would probably be more likely a support group. It was attended on personal preference, not recommendation, with the hope that someone would be found that had experienced success in coping under similar circumstances and would be willing to share the route they took. There was no personal investigation to determine whether any that were there had credentials to provide professional counseling as it was an open group. My own expectation for good was little or none as it was not even a Christian organization. We got what I expected we would, almost nothing. Maybe that revealed self-fulfillng prophecy.

On the other hand as events continued to spiral downward over a longer length of time, trust that God would eventually lead to a source of more permanent benefit, even though one of us believes differently about that pathway, leaving the differences in God's hands has led to comfort of huge spiritual benefit that we may never have received had there been squabbling over the differences of choice to find peace.

I'm definitely of the opinion that sharing personal wounds with other members of the body of Christ can reap rich rewards. After all, where would the body be if the feet determined they would carry the body not at all, because they were weary and hurt themselves. And if we are too proud to receive from others with gentle hearts, who would be more than willing to help when confronted, where would be the promise, [:"red"] "It is more blessed to give than to receive," [/] for those who wish and are able to claim it.

[:"red"] "...wisdom is with those who receive counsel." [/] Proverbs 13:10 NASB

[:"red"] "And though a man might prevail against him who is alone, two will withstand him. A threefold cord is not quickly broken. " [/] Eccl 4:12 AMP

[:"red"] "Confess to one another therefore your faults (your slips, your false steps, your offenses, your sins) and pray [also] for one another, that you may be healed and restored [to a spiritual tone of mind and heart]. The earnest (heartfelt, continued) prayer of a righteous man makes tremendous power available " [/] James 5:16 AMP

Grace to you, Lynn.

Lift Jesus up!!

[Stan]

LynnDel

The same thing can be asked about a Church, some can help some can not.

I was the Chair of Hospital Clergy group, all non-Adventist. There were two guys there that were better than awesome. Both of them knew what real pain was.

God is very real, but sometimes we need a messenger he sends, with human skin, to continue the healing process. We just need to connect with that person. Too bad God does not use email. Then again maybe he uses people with email capability.

If you do know anything about here, is that a lot of people care for you. Not to much some of us can do. BUT we do care.

[Naomi]

LynnDel,

I have no experience with Grief Recovery Groups, however I do know people who have been a part of such groups. Their reported experiences are widely varied.

Some of the best advice I ever received was from a funnel director, "Everyone deals with grief differently. Don't try to force yourself to feel, act or behave as you feel you are expected."

Sometimes we need people not emotionally involved with whom to openly talk. An outsider with whom it feels "safe" to share your private feelings & thoughts.

I do know it takes time to emotionally deal with a loss. Yours was so sudden, I'm sure the combination of your loss and the shock has been most difficult.

You won't loose anything by visiting a few groups, or perhaps just a few visits to a private counselor would be of benefit.

Whatever you do, remember YOU are LOVED and time heals all. We here at C/A are faceless and cannot reach out and give you a hug. I realize that there are ever so many things you can't share on email, but we all care a great deal about you.

One hour at a time <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/1_prayer001.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/DOVE.gif" alt="" />

[Guest]

Life suggested this error as though it was the word of God. "Confess to one another therefore your faults (your slips, your false steps, your offenses, your sins) and pray [also] for one another, that you may be healed and restored [to a spiritual tone of mind and heart]. The earnest (heartfelt, continued) prayer of a righteous man makes tremendous power available " James 5:16 AMP

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Now there is an harlot church that confesses their sins to man, but not everyone choses to follow in the leaning on man preversion of scripture. James 5:16 DOES NOT suggest that a mortals sins ever be confessed to man. Look for pliable minds elsewhere.

However there is another church which professes to have the greatest light of all others, since they don't have a confessional booth with e small window, they march right into their pastors study and CONFESS the sins of their fellow members.

[LifeHiscost]

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Life suggested this error as though it was the word of God."

"Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much. "James 5:16 NASB

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[:"red"] "If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us." [/] 1 John 1:8 KJV

[:"red"] "For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world." [/]

1 John 2:16 KJV

[:"red"] "...for whatsoever is not of faith is sin." [/] Romans 14:23 KJV

[:"red"] "And when he is come, he will reprove the world of sin, and of righteousness, and of judgment" [/] John 16:8 KJV

Lift Jesus up!!