One-liners

[karl]

War does not determine who is right -- only who is left.

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

To steal intellectual property from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. My desk is a work station.

If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

Evening News is where they begin with 'Good evening,' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

A clear conscience could be the sign of a bad memory.

The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some interesting ideas!

The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

Behind every successful man is a woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

You're never too old to learn something stupid.

You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute if you wish to skydive twice.

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.

Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.

A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.

Change is inevitable, except from vending machines

[Gail]

Humor? or wisdom? :)

[phkrause]

[Ellen]

Where did you get these? Worth repeating.

[djconklin]

Agreed!