What A Jerk!

[Dr. Shane]

Have you ever been a complete jerk to someone that then turns around and reacts with an outrageous act of kindness? It is quite a humbly experience.

[Dr. Shane]

I posted this same thing in a private 12-Step group on Facebook and it got a lot of responses. I guess no one here can really relate to being a jerk and being humbled by others kindness. It has happened to me more than once and it kind of takes my breath away. Sometimes it is a simple as barking at a cashier in a supermarket line and her reacting with a smile and a tender greeting. Other times my offense is much worse and their kindness is much greater.

I have learned to do the same in return. Sometimes when people offend me I realize that I need to give them a break. So I react with some obnoxious act of kindness. It is a way of giving them a second chance. They get to do a double take and have a do-over. I have been so grateful when others have afforded me such kindness.

[LifeHiscost]

I posted this same thing in a private 12-Step group on Facebook and it got a lot of responses. I guess no one here can really relate to being a jerk and being humbled by others kindness. It has happened to me more than once and it kind of takes my breath away. Sometimes it is a simple as barking at a cashier in a supermarket line and her reacting with a smile and a tender greeting. Other times my offense is much worse and their kindness is much greater.

I have learned to do the same in return. Sometimes when people offend me I realize that I need to give them a break. So I react with some obnoxious act of kindness. It is a way of giving them a second chance. They get to do a double take and have a do-over. I have been so grateful when others have afforded me such kindness.

Thank you, Shane, for that very thoughtful and realistic approach to 90% of the world's ills.

I'm retired and a 24/7 caregiver to a beautiful person in my life, whom I love with all my heart, who has the habit of making it very easy to be what I should be, whatever the circumstances.

My highest opinion of myself would probably be shredded if I had to undergo the problems that the rest of the world faces on a daily basis.

Praise God for the tenderness of a Father Who not only asks for our love, but is willing to give that love when we're at our worst.

"Precious Lord, take my hand. Lead me to the promised land.

I am tired. I am weak. I am worn.

Hold my hand, lest I stray. Mmmm Hmmm hmmm humm Hummhummmuh!

Hold my hand. Humm humm Hummuh. Lead me home.

God blesses!

[rudywoofs (Pam)]

I posted this same thing in a private 12-Step group on Facebook and it got a lot of responses. I guess no one here can really relate to being a jerk and being humbled by others kindness.

Shane, I didn't think you'd get much in the way of responses here. I'm a jerk here on the forum a LOT, but I seldom receive kindness in return (and generally neither does anyone else), with the exception from maybe one or two people. I *do* get snide remarks in response to something I honestly write with no malicious intent; sometimes (mostly) I *do* get ignored; I *do* get pm's chewing me out; but a very few members come to my mind when I think of ones who have always, always been kind to me, no matter how much of a jerk I am... And yes, I am humbled by the fact that 4 others honored me by keeping me as a FB friend through it all..

I'm not excusing what I've written, because it generally is truly what I think. But I would rather not blather out what I'm thinking if it isn't nice... but there's a reason why that happens.

So...I'm very sorry if I offended anyone.

Scout thinks I'm wonderful..

I think some of you are wonderful, too... woof..

******

Originally Posted By: tq

I find that quite true in another area God frowns on. Perhaps it is in the way we present it. I mean, perhaps they are seeing us as unloving.

Sowieso...

[LifeHiscost]

Quote:

Scout thinks I'm wonderful..

I knew of this person who thought, in some, for want of a better word, "twisted" way, that dogs were really God. I don't remember how he put that together but his outstanding clue was that dog spelled God backward. And he evidently had a dog who behaved with the same unconditional love.

Amazing what a little undeserved love will do.

God blesses!

[miz3]

Originally Posted By: Shane

I posted this same thing in a private 12-Step group on Facebook and it got a lot of responses. I guess no one here can really relate to being a jerk and being humbled by others kindness.

Shane, I didn't think you'd get much in the way of responses here. I'm a jerk here on the forum a LOT, but I seldom receive kindness in return (and generally neither does anyone else), with the exception from maybe one or two people. I *do* get snide remarks in response to something I honestly write with no malicious intent; sometimes (mostly) I *do* get ignored; I *do* get pm's chewing me out; but a very few members come to my mind when I think of ones who have always, always been kind to me, no matter how much of a jerk I am... And yes, I am humbled by the fact that 4 others honored me by keeping me as a FB friend through it all..

I'm not excusing what I've written, because it generally is truly what I think. But I would rather not blather out what I'm thinking if it isn't nice... but there's a reason why that happens.

So...I'm very sorry if I offended anyone.

Scout thinks I'm wonderful..

I think some of you are wonderful, too... woof..

******

Originally Posted By: tq

I find that quite true in another area God frowns on. Perhaps it is in the way we present it. I mean, perhaps they are seeing us as unloving.

Sowieso...

I like you rudywoofs!

I share some of your feelings.

May the God of All bless you so very much and pour out his infinite kindness on you forever and ever.

Ditto to your companion Scout! Woof woof!

[cardw]

Have you ever been a complete jerk to someone that then turns around and reacts with an outrageous act of kindness? It is quite a humbly experience.

I have and it makes me not want to be in that situation again. LOL

What I have learned is that most things, including people being a jerk to me, are not about me. Most often it is about something that is happening in the other person's life and I happen to be the closest target.

That perspective has reduced my reactive comments and the desire to punish.

[Dr. Shane]

I think that is very true. I am mentoring a kid and recently a girl he had been dating started giving him the cold shoulder. It really bothered him. I told him that the reality of why she doesn't want to be with him probably has little or nothing to do with him. She has her own issues caused by circumstances during her childhood and those issues are going to cause her to be attracted to some guys and not others.

[LynnDel]

Sometimes, fortunately rarely, when I have responded with a smile to something that was meant to make me mad, the other person has reacted with anger. I can only think that perhaps they didn't like the feeling of coals of fire on their heads. Perhaps that's a simplistic view.

Once, however, I did something stupid on the freeway (well, more than once) -- got in front of a couple of guys in a pickup, then slowed down because I needed to change lanes. They sped up and drove next to me, gestured rudely, got in front of me as I exited the freeway onto a little-used road, and slowed to a crawl, less than 10 mph. I came so close to hitting them it was scary. They looked back at me, probably to see my reaction as I jammed on the brakes - and what could I do but smile and wave? They laughed and sped off. I was thankful my instinctive reaction made a positive end to what could have turned out to be a road rage incident.

[cardw]

I think that is very true. I am mentoring a kid and recently a girl he had been dating started giving him the cold shoulder. It really bothered him. I told him that the reality of why she doesn't want to be with him probably has little or nothing to do with him. She has her own issues caused by circumstances during her childhood and those issues are going to cause her to be attracted to some guys and not others.

Yeah, those painful first breakups. A lot of illusions going on there.

I learned early that it doesn't work to try and make girls like you. I ended up acting like somebody I wasn't and they like him and not me. LOL

[fccool]

That's a Hollywood classic plot , only the guy ends up explaining that he was not himself, and gets the girl in the end :)