Adventists with non-believers?

[gluck3d]

Hi,

Sorry for intervening, could you please solve my confusion?

My own religion attitude is something I would call "passive atheism". I don't believe in God's existence while I don't mind if someone has his own beliefs and I respect the historical and social role of the Christianity. And also I have just basic knowledge on SDA specifics while I've tried to read through Internet.

The question is - I know a beautiful girl (actually she is from a family of my far relatives, she is my fourth-cosine I think). Her family belongs to SDA church.

I know her for several years and I feel like I do actually love her while I have never tried to extend it further then just good relatives relations.

What do the SDA church say about the love relations between non-believers and adventists? May I try to make a new step and won't this offend her and her family? Aren't the marriages between adventists and non-believers prohibited?

Of course I wouldn't interfere with her relations to the church and adventists society. And I don't mind if she will continue to adhere to all the rules that Adventism lay on her.

Thanx

[Parade Orange]

your very first post!

welcome welcome!

you will get lots of good info here

u have come to the right place

[John317]

...What do the SDA church say about the love relations between non-believers and adventists? May I try to make a new step and won't this offend her and her family? Aren't the marriages between adventists and non-believers prohibited?

They are certainly discouraged by the church but not prohibited. SDA pastors won't marry an SDA and a non-SDA. Such weddings are typically performed by non-SDA ministers.

Originally Posted By: gluck3d

Of course I wouldn't interfere with her relations to the church and adventists society. And I don't mind if she will continue to adhere to all the rules that Adventism lay on her.

That's wonderful you feel this way, but what about bringing up the children? She would almost certainly want to bring them up as SDAs, and there's always the chance that you would change your mind after you've been married for several years.

[gluck3d]

They are certainly discouraged by the church but not prohibited. SDA pastors won't marry an SDA and a non-SDA. Such weddings are typically performed by non-SDA ministers.

[John317]

Originally Posted By: John317

They are certainly discouraged by the church but not prohibited. SDA pastors won't marry an SDA and a non-SDA. Such weddings are typically performed by non-SDA ministers.

What would this mean actually? Will this marriage be recognized by the church somehow or will she confront herself with the church if she agrees to this marriage? For example simple civil marriage without church involvement?

Yes, the SDA church recognizes the marriages if performed by a non-SDA pastor/minister as well as those marriages that only involve a civil ceremony.

I was married to a CAtholic lady in Las Vegas with a simple ceremony performed by a non-SDA minister. It is recongized by the SDA church. (She freely chose to become SDA after 4 years of marriage, and she's a wonderful SDA today, along with our 2 daughters, almost 20 years later.)

[John317]

As far as I know, SDA assumes that becoming a member of the church must be intelligent and the person must understand on what he agrees, am I not right?

Yes, you're right-- the church believes it's very important for members to decide intelligently, understanding the church's teachings. They don't need to understand everything at that point, but they should know the fundamentals of what the church teaches and represents.

[John317]

I want to second Parade Orange's welcome to you, gluck3d. Glad you've decided to come here and take part in posting. I hope you make friends and enjoy your visits. I look forward to reading your posts and getting to know you. :-)

[gluck3d]

Tnnx to everybody, things are more clear now

I'll read through the forum to understand SDA's belief better, therefore thanks for your welcome :)

[John317]

No problem. Please feel free to ask any questions you might have. :-)

[Gail]

Gluck3d, I also welcome you!

I was married to a non-believer for 21 years. He never did become a Christian but the church members always welcomed him and supported him.

Thank you for your questions!

[BobRyan]

Hi,

Sorry for intervening, could you please solve my confusion?

My own religion attitude is something I would call "passive atheism". I don't believe in God's existence while I don't mind if someone has his own beliefs and I respect the historical and social role of the Christianity. And also I have just basic knowledge on SDA specifics while I've tried to read through Internet.

The question is - I know a beautiful girl (actually she is from a family of my far relatives, she is my fourth-cosine I think). Her family belongs to SDA church.

I know her for several years and I feel like I do actually love her while I have never tried to extend it further then just good relatives relations.

What do the SDA church say about the love relations between non-believers and adventists? May I try to make a new step and won't this offend her and her family? Aren't the marriages between adventists and non-believers prohibited?

The Bible forbids forming a marriage between a Christian and non-Christian. One obvious reason is that it is the perfect way to create strife in the home when it comes to providing a consistent model for children. Given that 50% of marriages already end up in trouble - there is little reason to go down that road.

Now I have a proposition for you - since you have every incentive in the world to give this young woman's world view a serious "once over" before tossing it out the window - why not take a look at the example of fellow atheists who have decided to embrace Christianity after they reviewed the evidence?

Why not at least be informed as to their own witness and testimony?

in Christ,

Bob

Of course I wouldn't interfere with her relations to the church and adventists society. And I don't mind if she will continue to adhere to all the rules that Adventism lay on her.

Thanx

[Dr. Shane]

My wife and I are from different countries and different cultures. We were both raised in Adventist homes. Our common faith is what our entire marriage is based on. We are both very active in our faith. I get along with my in-laws very well and her with my family for a great part because of our common faith.

If you were to marry this girl, you would be denying her one of the greatest treasures a human can have - a mate from the same faith. Regardless if a person is a Jew, Muslim, Buddhist or Christian... experiencing God together with one's spouse is one of the greatest experiences in the human experience.

I have little doubt that you will happier, as will she, if you find someone whose spiritual beliefs (or lack of) are the same as yours and she does the same.

[M. T. Cross]

I think if you are going to marry this woman you should know a lot about her faith. While I don't think one needs to be of the same faith I think they should have as complete an understanding as they can.

My wife and I have been married for 20 years. We believe a lot of opposite things when it comes to religion. I understand her beliefs, she understands mine. With enough love comes respect and with that respect comes a mutual ability to make it work.

[gluck3d]

The Bible forbids forming a marriage between a Christian and non-Christian. One obvious reason is that it is the perfect way to create strife in the home when it comes to providing a consistent model for children. Given that 50% of marriages already end up in trouble - there is little reason to go down that road.

Now I have a proposition for you - since you have every incentive in the world to give this young woman's world view a serious "once over" before tossing it out the window - why not take a look at the example of fellow atheists who have decided to embrace Christianity after they reviewed the evidence?

Why not at least be informed as to their own witness and testimony?

What are the exact quotes for The Bible forbids forming a marriage between a Christian and non-Christian.? And was it related to non-Christian including non-believers or not?

Actually I strongly believe (and I see a lot of such families around) that families are tied together not because of the same religion for sure. I'm not sure of what this ties are anyway But between my relatives there are families with our russian orthodox christian and atheist spouses, SDA and non-believers (while this exact family was created before the wife joined SDA I think). All of them were never close to divorcing, raised beatiful children. I think there is something more related to person-to-person love, shared interests etc.

About joining the Christianity - I just don't see the reason why should I Both the existence and non-existence of God can't be logically proved therefore I just don't see the need to believe in someone eternal. I can simply share the same view on any aspect of life with the christians. You believe that it weas said by the God, I believe that all the morale and rules are right because it is good for the overall human society.

Of course I can dispute on this point, but thousands of years had proven that that wouldn't result in any outcome.

[gluck3d]

My wife and I are from different countries and different cultures. We were both raised in Adventist homes. Our common faith is what our entire marriage is based on. We are both very active in our faith. I get along with my in-laws very well and her with my family for a great part because of our common faith.

If you were to marry this girl, you would be denying her one of the greatest treasures a human can have - a mate from the same faith. Regardless if a person is a Jew, Muslim, Buddhist or Christian... experiencing God together with one's spouse is one of the greatest experiences in the human experience.

I have little doubt that you will happier, as will she, if you find someone whose spiritual beliefs (or lack of) are the same as yours and she does the same.

[Dr. Shane]

What are the exact quotes for The Bible forbids forming a marriage between a Christian and non-Christian.? And

[Dr. Shane]

Originally Posted By: Shane

My wife and I are from different countries and different cultures... Our common faith is what our entire marriage is based on.

I can't agree that the cornerstone of the successful marriage and happy family is the same belief.

As I mentioned in the post above, divorce is not uncommon even among two people of the same faith. However one or both of the spouses normally have lost interest in the faith, which ultimately leads to divorce.

Marriage has three dimensions to it. There is the physical dimension - touch, affections, visual stimulation, sexual relations, etc. The emotional dimension - care, compassion, commitment, acceptance, feelings, etc. And the spiritual dimension - prayer, meditation, rejoicing, honoring God together, belonging to a community with purpose, etc. A marriage also grows and changes over time. Typically, in the beginning the physical has the most importance. Then it transitions into the emotional having the most importance. For those with a common faith, they will transition into the spiritual having the greatest importance. And they experience all three dimensions at the same time.

Marriages can and have been successful without the spiritual element. However I think that without it, they couple will never realize the highest level of marital bliss that is to be experienced. They never get to taste the cake with the frosting. Marriages made of two like-minded believers feel happier, more fulfilled and with greater purpose in life.

[fccool]

Quote:

I would suggested that neither can be proved. However there is substantial evidence that the twelve apostles were real historic people, that they really taught Jesus died and rose from the the dead and that they were martyred for that belief. The most probable explanation for all 12 of them being willing to die for that belief is that they actually witnessed the event as they claim. Certainly if you or I had witnessed that event, we would have been willing to die for it too.

Joseph Smith was murdered by a mob in 1844 in Nauvoo, Illinois. Latter Day Saints believe he was martyred for his unwavering conviction that God revealed himself through golden tablets that Smith had discovered in 1830.

Of itself, willingness to die for something is not a proof of veracity. Germans were willing to die for Hitler's aspiration. Japanese kamikaze were willing to die for their god-emperor.

On top of that, much of the stories surrounding true circumstances of death of the 12 don't find any historical reference outside of their tradition.

For example, John was told to be dipped in boiling oil, and came out alive, hence he was commuted to Patmos. There are no credible historical documentation to support such claim. It's a myth. If that one is likely to be a myth, how can one be sure of any such claims?

[fccool]

gluck3d,

I think there are two things to consider here:

1) Girl's attitude towards non-belief.

2) Her parents attitude towards the same

It's difficult to have a functional marital relationship without parents involved. It's not impossible. I think it makes little difference if they are distant, but if they are close, it will be a huge issue.

Marriage is about compromises, and given the nature of religious beliefs, you will be asked to do most of the compromises. Such would not be merely limited to your food choices, and what you do on Saturdays.

But, above all, most of the Adventist girls would not even consider a marriage to non-Adventist. If you are trying to change the Chuch's mind on this issue, it's a futile exercise. I think you are better off finding someone who is more compatible with your beliefs.

[Pockey]

My wife and I are from different countries and different cultures. We were both raised in Adventist homes. Our common faith is what our entire marriage is based on. We are both very active in our faith. I get along with my in-laws very well and her with my family for a great part because of our common faith.

If you were to marry this girl, you would be denying her one of the greatest treasures a human can have - a mate from the same faith. Regardless if a person is a Jew, Muslim, Buddhist or Christian... experiencing God together with one's spouse is one of the greatest experiences in the human experience.

I have little doubt that you will happier, as will she, if you find someone whose spiritual beliefs (or lack of) are the same as yours and she does the same.

[Dr. Shane]

Joseph Smith was murdered by a mob in 1844 in Nauvoo, Illinois.

[gluck3d]

Originally Posted By: gluck3d

What are the exact quotes for The Bible forbids forming a marriage between a Christian and non-Christian.?

....

There is no actually direct prohibition of marriages with non-believers in the quotes you provided but only thoughts that it leads to the loss of the nation identity or close things. Moreover, it is mostly about foreigners.

I interpret it in the following way (from my common-sense point of view . Sorry, I can't argue using quotes from Bible because I have only the basic knowledge of it from university). In ancient times Jews were the small nation located between big empires (Egypt and middle-eastern ones). They all had their own religions that were rather aggressive to Judaism (and later Christianity) as to all other religions other then itself. Therefore everyone who was of other nation or belief was an actual enemy - he attempted to change the morale, codex and habits of the Jews. And that was the meaning of all this quotes - to defend Jews identity.

Now the religion gone worldwide and there is no sense in defending from foreigners. There is also such a new thing as materialists or real non-believers who don't endanger Judaism/Christianity as ancient pagans around ancient Palestine.

The main point was to save the nation and religion identity. Nowadays the marriage with someone who is not from the same religion but who is not aggressive against it is safe. He will not burn your sacred books, prohibit you to pray etc. He will even share most of your rules because he has the same ones just from the law and civil morale.

[Dr. Shane]

There is no actually direct prohibition of marriages with non-believers in the quotes you provided but only thoughts that it leads to the loss of the nation identity or close things. Moreover, it is mostly about foreigners.

I interpret it in the following way (from my common-sense point of view

If you are asking questions about what Seventh-day Adventists believe, then you need to be prepared to accept the answers and not argue with them.

Seventh-day Adventists also believe in a latter day prophet that died in 1915. She received divine visions and dreams as well as speaking directly to angels. In her writings, she references the same verses I quoted as a prohibition against Seventh-day Adventists marrying Christians from other denominations. She stated that many young people seal their eternal fate on their wedding date. The implication being that those who choose to marry unbelievers will not be in heaven.

[nuff sed]

Let me correct a statement made several postings ago to the effect that Adventist pastors will not marry Adventists to non-Adventists.

The statement should be amended to say that Adventist pastors are "NOT SUPPOSED TO MARRY ADVENTIST WITH NON-ADVENTISTS". They sometimes do. My late brother-in-law never joined joined the church. It was my 'good' Seventh-day Adventist college-roommate pastor that married them!

Why is it that when we don't like something quoted from the Bible we look for all the ways that it doesn't apply to us or "That's not what it meant"? Why can't we take II Cor. 6:14 as a guide in dealing with all matters concerning close relationships with non-Adventists? "Be ye not unequally yoked with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness"? I would prefer to err on the side of being 'too strict' than not strict enough. Nuff Sed

[John317]

You're right, nuff said.

Perhaps I should have said "most" or "rarely" or, as you suggest, "are not supposed to."

Thank you for that correction. It could actually be important in this context.