Breads for Crummy Sins

[phkrause]

On the Jewish New Year, Rosh Hashanah, there is a ceremony called Tashlich. Jews traditionally go to the ocean or a stream or river to pray and throw bread crumbs into the water.

Symbolically, the fish devour their sins. Occasionally, people ask what kind of bread crumbs should be thrown. Here are suggestions for breads which may be most appropriate for specific sins and misbehaviors.

For ordinary sins.....................White Bread

For complex sins......................Multigrain

For twisted sins......................Pretzels

For sins of indecision................Waffles

For sins of chutzpah..................Fresh Bread

For committing auto theft.............Caraway

For timidity/cowardice................Milk Toast

For ill-temperedness..................Sourdough

For silliness, eccentricity...........Nut Bread

For war-mongering.....................Kaiser Rolls

For jingoism, chauvinism..............Yankee Doodles

For excessive irony...................Rye Bread

For erotic sins.......................French Bread

For particularly dark sins............Pumpernickel

For dressing immodestly...............Tarts

For causing injury to others..........Tortes

For being holier than thou............Bagels

For abrasiveness......................Grits

For dropping in without notice........Popovers

For overeating........................Stuffing

For pride and egotism.................Puff Pastry

For trashing the environment..........Dumplings

For telling bad jokes/puns............Corn Bread