I don't really like people.

[cricket]

I am someone who enjoys and keeps only a small company of friends. I've never been one to attend large parties, or to have large parties. In fact, anymore than 10 people at one time really wears on my nerves. I feel as if I have "enough" friends and don't want to make new ones, or invite new people into my life.

Is it sinful to want to have a close circle of friends and to not want to be very sociable outside of that number? Too many people seems unmanageable to me, and too much effort to try and maintain those friendships.

What is the threshold for number of friends? Is there one? Do you have a personal threshold?

[Woody]

You seem to be able to do well here with thousands of friends. I suspect it is more a matter of what you do with all your friends.

[cricket]

There are thousands of people here, yes. However, there are but a handful that I would call "friends" and would care to maintain a relationship with through the years. Is it wrong that there are many more here that I don't really care to get to know, to spend time talking with?

[rudywoofs (Pam)]

cricket, I don't do well with large numbers of people either ... and though I have a lot of acquaintances, I don't really have very many friends....

(but I count you as one!!)

[cricket]

rudywoofs, I appreciate you so very much! Thank you for not letting me feel alone. And for understanding where I'm coming from. Do you think it's okay to feel this way though, or is it wrong?

Tonight I'm being kept awake by some unruly neighbors. Earlier I read (maybe it was here on CA--I can't remember) that Abraham Lincoln once said something like “I kill my enemies when I make them friends.” And it makes me wonder if I should be "killing" my neighbors and making them my friends. But then I think, UGH! I don't want to have more friends. I can't handle more friends--what I have is enough and is sometimes too much already.

[cricket]

(but I count you as one!!)

Same here!

[phkrause]

I am someone who enjoys and keeps only a small company of friends. I've never been one to attend large parties, or to have large parties. In fact, anymore than 10 people at one time really wears on my nerves. I feel as if I have "enough" friends and don't want to make new ones, or invite new people into my life.

Is it sinful to want to have a close circle of friends and to not want to be very sociable outside of that number? Too many people seems unmanageable to me, and too much effort to try and maintain those friendships.

What is the threshold for number of friends? Is there one? Do you have a personal threshold?

I'd say Jesus had a small group that he would call close friends. But he did enjoy coming in contact with whomever he met. There's nothing wrong with just wanting a small group of close friends. I have that also,but I do say hello, etc, to those I meet in my travels. We don't even need to be best friends with those next door, but we need to be there for them in time of need.

[OzarkWoman]

I am someone who enjoys and keeps only a small company of friends. I've never been one to attend large parties, or to have large parties. In fact, anymore than 10 people at one time really wears on my nerves. I feel as if I have "enough" friends and don't want to make new ones, or invite new people into my life.

Me too and that is the way I have always been.

[cricket]

CRICKET

I am just wondering do you attend church socials and

fellowship dinners???

if so how do you handle these events???

dgrimm60

I have, in the past. We rarely attend fellowship dinners anymore because my husband cannot find anything to eat there. He is literally allergic to nearly everything on the Adventist potluck table.

The church socials at our church are attended by two groups of people: the popular, cliquish group and the unpopular, very needy group. I find both groups stressful and it makes me uneasy, so now, I avoid those too.

[cricket]

Very cool, OzarkWoman!

[cricket]

I'd say Jesus had a small group that he would call close friends. But he did enjoy coming in contact with whomever he met. There's nothing wrong with just wanting a small group of close friends. I have that also,but I do say hello, etc, to those I meet in my travels. We don't even need to be best friends with those next door, but we need to be there for them in time of need.

I do say hello to the people I meet. In fact, my children are often embarrassed by the conversations I strike up. And, I don't become friends with those people...

But, there are some people who will keep that conversation going on and on. Then, they'll ask when we can talk again (or visit, or go to a movie...) and I just don't know what to say. In fact, one of the friends I've had for the longest time is a person like that. I offered her a ride home from an event in high school and she never stopped talking. She talked her way into the next event, and the next, and so on and so forth.

Being there for people is what gets me in trouble the most. If you were to ask anyone who knows me in "real" life, they'd tell you that I am one of the most helpful people they've ever met. I am helpful, and I am kind. I don't ask for payment in return, and I don't ask for favors in return. For some people, this is their foundation for a friendship with me. And that drives me crazy.

I don't mind helping. I don't mind saying hello and being polite. But I really don't want to have a friendship with most of those people. How wrong is that?

Would Jesus have considered close friendship with every person He ever met?

[phkrause]

I do say hello to the people I meet. In fact, my children are often embarrassed by the conversations I strike up. And, I don't become friends with those people...

But, there are some people who will keep that conversation going on and on. Then, they'll ask when we can talk again (or visit, or go to a movie...) and I just don't know what to say. In fact, one of the friends I've had for the longest time is a person like that. I offered her a ride home from an event in high school and she never stopped talking. She talked her way into the next event, and the next, and so on and so forth.

Being there for people is what gets me in trouble the most. If you were to ask anyone who knows me in "real" life, they'd tell you that I am one of the most helpful people they've ever met. I am helpful, and I am kind. I don't ask for payment in return, and I don't ask for favors in return. For some people, this is their foundation for a friendship with me. And that drives me crazy.

I don't mind helping. I don't mind saying hello and being polite. But I really don't want to have a friendship with most of those people. How wrong is that?

Would Jesus have considered close friendship with every person He ever met?

Great post cricket. As for that last paragraph. He might but do we really have that kind of time, to be friends with each and every person? I think we can be friends with many but not really close.