Just didn't know...

[OzarkWoman]

I had no idea until yesterday that it is definitely the policy of SDA pastors to never have private Bible studies with people of the opposite sex without an another elder or someone from the church. I didn't know this because my pastor had private studies with me at my abode with nobody else with him, so I just never thought about it. I was told yesterday how he had gotten permission from the conference to do so with me and had explained to the conference that he and his wife felt that I was no threat, sexually or otherwise.

I now realize how blessed I was and am to have had that pastor as my pastor and I will miss him dearly since he has been moved to another district.

[Gordon1]

He broke a golden rule and knowingly showed you disrespect.

How many converts have uttered these same words: "I had no idea until yesterday..."

Welcome to the club OzarkWoman.

[OzarkWoman]

He broke a golden rule and knowingly showed you disrespect.

How many converts have uttered these same words: "I had no idea until yesterday..."

Welcome to the club OzarkWoman.

I don't believe he showed me any disrespect at all. In fact, because of what he knew about me, I believe he showed a great amount of respect. I would never have opened up the way I had with him and his wife had he brought another elder or someone else with him.

[cricket]

Adventist pastors in our conference tend to move every 4-5 years, OzarkWoman. I'm sorry that your first pastor left. If your experience is anything like mine, you will never have another pastor you feel as strongly a connection with. Hopefully, he'll keep in touch with you over the years though!

[rudywoofs (Pam)]

I was never given *any* Bible studies or counseling by any male with a chaperone. There was never a problem.

[Gibs]

OW,

Since he broutht his wife with him to confer with you he did OK. He would have been wrong in coming by himself.. He didn't come a courting with his wife along that is for sure.

But the times he would come by himself he was out of line whether he made advances or not. Satan has many in the pastorate who are sex crased monsters. You may have been lucky to have not been molested.

1Jo 4:4 ¶ Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them: because greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world.

[OzarkWoman]

OW,

Since he broutht his wife with him to confer with you he did OK. He would have been wrong in coming by himself.. He didn't come a courting with his wife along that is for sure.

But the times he would come by himself he was out of line whether he made advances or not. Satan has many in the pastorate who are sex crased monsters. You may have been lucky to have not been molested.

1Jo 4:4 ¶ Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them: because greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world.

Most of the time his wife was not with him for the actual Bible studies. You have to understand that we have a friendship relationship outside of the church. Like today, spent all day with them both looking for a place for them to rent in the town where their new church is.

[OzarkWoman]

Adventist pastors in our conference tend to move every 4-5 years, OzarkWoman. I'm sorry that your first pastor left. If your experience is anything like mine, you will never have another pastor you feel as strongly a connection with. Hopefully, he'll keep in touch with you over the years though!

I am very lucky in that they are only moving about 1 1/2 hours away and we are friends outside of the church. You are right though, I have a very strong connection with him and his wife and his whole family.

[Overaged]

I don't believe he showed me any disrespect at all. In fact, because of what he knew about me, I believe he showed a great amount of respect. I would never have opened up the way I had with him and his wife had he brought another elder or someone else with him.

OW, I agree. Most times it is not a great idea for one on one opposite sex Bible study or counselling. There can however be circumstances where it sometimes happens out of necessity, and when it does, there are still ways to do it right.

For eg, as Elder, I once met with a single lady, the high priestess of a coven in a major city near here, at Tim Horton's Donut Shop. The lady wanted to know about the Bible, and so we had our meeting there, and it turned out really well. It is not always wrong to meet one on one; it's how and why it is done. Sounds like your Pastor was sensitive to the issue and did take some good steps towards being open and accountable in the situation...