Bullying

[JoeMo]

Thanks for the feedback, fccool. You are very courageous and honest to post your thoughts like that. Even though I pretty much agree with your sentiments, it ain't gonna happen like that in most churches.

I agree with Gail that " the church [should be] a refuge and loving place where one can feel whole". That goes for anyone. Jesus came to heal the sick and wounded - no matter what their malady - that should be the church's mission as well.

Don't take that as me saying gay people are sick - they didn't ask to be born that way. I'm just saying that the church should openly accept everyone where they are -no matter what their issues or idiosyncracies.

[olger]

I would like for people to get the idea somehow that if one is gay, overweight, has mental illness, is FAS or a prostitute or single or elderly, that the church is a refuge and loving place where one can feel whole.

Perhaps if the church was such a place there wouldn't be a need in society for every minority to feel like rebelling in order to be heard.

I agree that the church should have answers for people in bondage to sinful habits & choices. I don't care if people "feel whole" I care that people can come to freedom from issues that the enemy is using to defeat their lives. That freedom becomes a reality that glorifies the Father.

rejoice always,

G

[phkrause]

Why is it necessary to have special groups? Don't bully this group and this one and so on.

Why don't parents and teachers "teach and enforce you don't bully anyone?

Does it matter if they have gay parents or themselves are gay?

Our sons didn't have to understand why someone was gay or different,they didn't need to be specifically educated to understand.They needed to know they did not have a right to bully anyone.Didn't matter if they were gay,obese,handicapped,big ears and buck teeth,dressed funny or poorly,different skin color,or spoke with a accent.

If your child has not been taught to not bully others,PERIOD,they will bully anyone when the opportunity comes up.

I am sure my boys did their share of teasing but they knew better than to EVER want us to find out they had bullied someone because they were different or lived differently than we did.

How many different org. do we need to prevent bullying?

Good points Bonnie

[phkrause]

Quote:

It is clear that the next item on the liberal agenda for the SDA Church is the normalization of homosexuality.

It's not the issue of "normalization". I don't think that homosexuality will ever be viewed as "normal". "Normalization" is not what gays are fighting for. They are merely asking to respect their choice and "condition".

There's this really silly idea that "liberals" are out to do that and this. Liberalism has more to do with pursuit of objective truth than anything else. Conservatism tends to trade truth for traditional orthodoxy.

No, homosexuality is not normal. It does not mean however that conservatives have the right to choose what gays will do with that "abnormal preference". There are plenty of abnormal preferences. Some people smoke, some people drink too much, some people are gluttonous, yet no one picks on the fat people in church, for example. No one in church is crying about the "normalization of obesity". People are very sensitive when it comes to the issue, and the church understands. Some people simply have predisposition to obesity. They will die obese, no matter how hard to try otherwise. And the church ACCEPTS it and UNDERSTANDS it. It does not accept it as normal, but it accepts it as understandable. That's the homosexual issue in a nutshell.

Homosexuality is a very easy target for Christian conservatives, mainly because it does not point back to them, except for very few rare cases (like Dick Cheney's daughter, or Ted Haggard). Therefore, it's easy to chalk up any criticism of such approach to the "liberal agenda".

If "liberalism" is consistent with truth and integrity, then what does it matter? It's only a straw-man label that's then used as an excuse for irrational orthodoxy.

excellent post fccool

[Tom Wetmore]

Hi Tom, As in the case of the Episcopalian Church, the adoption of female headship weakens an organization's ability to "say no" to the homosexual agenda.

That is an important link between them - one paves the way for the next. And there is another connection, an internal one.

Both are gender-related (sexual) issues that "mess up" God's creational order & distinctions. It takes very little imagination to see this kindred connection.

rejoice always,

Ger

That is not a link between the two. It is still playing connect the random dots to make the picture conjured up in someone's "little imagination".

It is still just a bald assertion that it is so. That's not evidence. It's not proof of anything other than an exercise of "little imagination", or in other words - speculation.

That someone thought two random and other wise unrelated thoughts, one following the other, does not show that the first paved the way for the other or that one is connected to the other, even if they may have words in common. The only connection they have is in someone's "little imagination" and that such an imagination put them together.

WO is not a sexual issue. That anyone would imply that is more than messed up. It is perverted.

[Tom Wetmore]

Back to the original topic... As Paul Harvey would have said "The rest of the story..."

http://www.nadadventist.org/article/1073...-bullying-study

8-7-12 North American Division Partners with La Sierra on Bullying Study

Olweus Bullying Prevention Program to be offered in elementary and secondary schools

Bullying is most often an intentionally repeated aggressive behavior that involves an imbalance of power. A recent U.S. study has shown that 17 percent of all male and female students reported being bullied. This amounts to one in five students. The North American Division’s Office of Education sees this as in important issue and has partnered with La Sierra University’s Center for Conflict Resolution to offer the Olweus Bullying Prevention Program (OBPP) in its more than 1,000 elementary and secondary schools across the United States, Canada, Bermuda, and the Micronesian islands.

In the 1980s, Dr. Dan Olweus conducted the first systematic intervention study against bullying in the world. According to its website, the Olweus Bullying Prevention Program has more than 35 years of research and successful implementation all over the world. It is a whole-school program that has been proven to prevent or reduce bullying throughout a school setting.

Data from Olweus has shown that adults just aren’t aware of the various types of bullying that students are being subjected to. However, bullying takes place much more frequently and is missed by adults. “We think that because of the excellent student-to-teacher ratio we have in our small schools that there must be better supervision and management with issues of bullying,” said Richard Pershing, director of the Center for Conflict Resolution at La Sierra University in Riverside, Calif.

In working with OBPP, the Center for Conflict Resolution has designed a two-part survey that educators will offer their students asking whether they have been bullied or if they have been doing the bullying. The survey will also analyze where the activity could have occurred. Questions cover areas such as:

1. Verbal bullying including derogatory comments and bad names

2. Bullying through social exclusion or isolation

3. Physical bullying such as hitting, kicking, shoving, and spitting

4. Bullying through lies and false rumors

5. Having money or other things taken or damaged by students who bully

6. Being threatened or being forced to do things by students who bully

7. Racial bullying

8. Sexual bullying

9. Cyber bullying (via cell phone or Internet)

“Everyone wants to figure out the source of bullying,” said Pershing. It’s human nature. It’s about power and some of us are wired to enjoy the exercising of power.” Pershing believes that the entire community that supports the school – the constituents, school board, and parents – needs to be involved to level the playing field of abused power by the students. “Once the power has been leveled, then you can move into conflict resolution and teach the kids day to day conflict resolution,” he said. Conflict resolution training has been Beta tested at Madison Campus Elementary School in Tenn. and San Diego Adventist Academy in Calif.

Adventist Risk Management, Inc. (ARM), in partnership with several other Adventist organizations including the North American Division, launched The Seven Campaign: Stop Child Abuse Now at the NAD Teacher’s Convention where nearly 6,500 educators attended this week (August 5-8) in Nashville, Tenn. The NAD Office of Education also gave attendees a preview of the Olweus program.

In addition to having access and resources to advocacy programs dealing with abusive behaviors, the NAD Office of Education offered six breakout sessions (equaling eight hours of education in-service) at the Convention dealing with the issue of bullying.

Education officers in the local conferences are now reviewing the survey questions. The NAD Office of Education hopes to begin issuing surveys this coming Fall.

George Johnson Jr., communication director, North American Division, reporting

[JoeMo]

Excellent posts, Tom - both of them. Bless you for your boldness and leadership.

Bullying is wrong in any situation. If Jesus is my example, then - by God's grace - I hope I never bully anyone. There is a marked difference between "influencing" and "intimidating" or "bullying". That goes for here on C/A as much as for anywhere else. Sometimes, the tone of people's posts here feels alot like spiritual intimidation or bullying. It's time to stop that and use the holy influence of encouragement instead.

Blessings,

JoeMo

[M. T. Cross]

I would like for people to get the idea somehow that if one is gay, overweight, has mental illness, is FAS or a prostitute or single or elderly, that the church is a refuge and loving place where one can feel whole.

Perhaps if the church was such a place there wouldn't be a need in society for every minority to feel like rebelling in order to be heard.

**Standing Ovation**

[Woody]

Quote:

That goes for here on C/A as much as for anywhere else. Sometimes, the tone of people's posts here feels alot like spiritual intimidation or bullying. It's time to stop that and use the holy influence of encouragement instead

Yes. As Christians we should do as Jesus did. He turned the other cheek and blessed all with love and encouragement - not negative intimidation.

[Neil D]

expanding on what Redwood said, I don't recall Jesus ever using the phrase "You should...[insert directive]".....

I wonder if the incidence of feeling bullied would become less.....

[ I wonder if anyone would see the irony if I made a comment as to JoMoe should not using my icon ....]

[JoeMo]

Neil,

It's not an ICON, it's an AVATAR!! What are you thinking!

Just messing with you!

[Neil D]

...as I was with you.....

We SHOULD get

[JoeMo]

Agreed ....

[JoeMo]

I have witnessed excessive bullying even in churches I've attended; although I'm sure it's unintended. This occurs most frequently during or immediately after big evangelistic efforts. New people come in - all excited about this new church filled with saints.

Scenario 1 - Some new woman shows up all dressed up in a fasionable dress (or even worse, a slacks suit!)- complete with heavy make-up and lots of jewelry. Some well-meaning saint then approaches her and sharply rebukes her for looking like a prostitute; and how "good Adventists" don't wear revealing clothing, jewelry or make-up to attract attention to themselves. The newly converted woman is embarassed; and looks around, seeing other "veteran members" dressed more or less the same. Her embarassment turns to outrage; and she leaves - never to come back.

Scenario 2 - a family of new members attends a church pot luck for the first time. They want to appear generous; so they bring a couple buckets of KFC to the potluck. Some well meaning advocate of our health message comments loudly about how meat is not fit for human consumption; and Sister White says that those who consume animal flesh are not fit for translation. The family leaves, extremely hurt and embarrased, never to return. Mysteriously, the chicken if the first thing eaten at the pot luck.

This ain't stuff out of the 1960's. Ive seen it in the past several years several times. How often do we lose new converts because well-meaning "saints" want to soundly put them on the "right track"?

[Gail]

You've raised some good points, JoeMo. I'm sure that most of us have seen that or even have been guilty at one time or another.

I have NO idea of why. One would think that we should be as patient with others as God is with us AND as we want others to be with us, too.

[OzarkWoman]

I understand what he is saying. I still have people at the church I attend asking me if I gave up pork and other "unclean" meat and such. It has dwindled down to just a very few that ask me that now because I got into the habit of asking back at people if they paid their tithing.