Erma Bombeck

[Planey]

In the obituary forum referring to the death of Phylis Diller mention was made of the book The Grass Is Always Greener Over The Septic Tank. On checking out the author Erma Bombeck (on Wikipedia *blush*) I found these classic quotes from the lady and felt constrained to share them. (Noble, eh!)

• Insanity is hereditary. You can catch it from your kid.

• My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first one being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.

• There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.

• If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.

• Mothers-in-law who wear a black armband to the wedding are expendable.

• The only reason I would take up jogging is so I could hear heavy breathing again.

• Ironed Sheets are a health hazard.

• Laughter rises out of tragedy, when you need it the most, and rewards you for your courage.

• Dreams have only one owner at a time. That's why dreamers are lonely.

• When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me.'

• In general, my children refused to eat anything that hadn't danced on TV.

• When humor goes, there goes civilization.

• Seize the moment. Think of all those women on the 'Titanic' who waved off the dessert cart.

• Never loan your car to anyone to whom you've given birth.

• The grass is always greener over the septic tank.

• A child needs your love more when he deserves it least.

• There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.

• It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.

• If you can laugh at it, you can live with it.

• I told you I was sick. (She requested this to be her epitaph.)

Graeme

[Liz]

I loved Erma Bombeck, she was such a funny lady!