Members phkrause Posted October 6, 2012 Members Posted October 6, 2012 HOW MANY ZEN BUDDHISTS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHTBULB? A: Three. One to change the lightbulb, one NOT to change the lightbulb, and one to neither change nor not change the lightbulb. HOW MANY EPISCOPALIANS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHTBULB? A: Eight. One to call the electrician, and seven to say how much they liked the old one better. HOW MANY UNITARIANS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHTBULB? A: The Unitarians wish to issue the following statement: "We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a lightbulb; however, if in your own journey you have found that lightbulbs work for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your personal relationship with your lightbulb, and present it next month at our annual lightbulb Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of lightbulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence." HOW MANY PENTECOSTALS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHTBULB? A: Ten. One to change the bulb and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness. Quote phkrause When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice; But when a wicked man rules, the people groan. Proverbs 29;2
nuff sed Posted October 7, 2012 Posted October 7, 2012 How many Seventh-day Adventists does it take to change a lightbulb???? Seventh-day Adventists don't like change!!!!!! (#1. It's not in the Bible. #2 Mrs. White doesn't say anything about it!) (gg) Nuff Sed Quote
olger Posted October 7, 2012 Posted October 7, 2012 You confused Adventists with Amish. Adventists are WAY liberal compared to the Amish. (Ps. Amish don't got no light bulbs..) Quote "Please don't feed the drama queens.."
aldona Posted October 28, 2012 Posted October 28, 2012 How many Seventh-day Adventists does it take to change a lightbulb???? Seventh-day Adventists don't like change!!!!!! (#1. It's not in the Bible. #2 Mrs. White doesn't say anything about it!) (gg) Nuff Sed The version I heard was: Q. How many Adventists does it take to change a lightbulb? A. Change??!! Did you say CHANGE!!!??!!! and a couple that pop up at work every so often... Q. How many psychologists does it take to change a lightbulb? A. Only one - but the lightbulb has to really WANT to change. Q. How many social workers does it take to change a lightbulb? A. Social workers don't change lightbulbs. They empower the lightbulb to change itself. And a few more with a religious theme (I'm not prejudiced. I'm happy to poke fun at all religions equally.) Q. How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb? A. One, since his/her hands are in the air anyway. Q. How many conservatives does it take to change a lightbulb? A. Three. One to change it and two to storm out in protest if the person changing it is a woman! Q. How many liberals does it take to change a light bulb? A. 10, as they need to hold a debate into whether or not the light bulb exists. Even if they can agree upon the existence of the light bulb they may not go ahead and change it for fear of alienating those who use fluorescent tubes. Q. How many Pentecostals does it take to change a light bulb? A. 10, one to change it and 9 others to pray against the spirit of darkness. Q. How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb? A. One. But for the message of hope to continue to go forth, send in your donation today. Q. How many campfire worship leaders does it take to change a light bulb? A. One. But soon all those around can warm up to its glowing. Q. How many Amish does it take to change a light bulb? A. What's a light bulb? Q. How many Presbyterians does it take to change a light bulb? A. None. Lights will go on and off at predestined times. Q. How many youth pastors does it take to change a light bulb? A. Youth pastors aren't around long enough for a light bulb to burn out. Q. How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to change a light bulb? A. Three. One to screw in the bulb, and two to knock on your door and ask you if you've seen the light! Q. How many Unitarians does it take to change a lightbulb? A. We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your lightbulb for the next Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, threeway, long‐life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence. Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Church wide lighting service is planned for Sunday. Bring bulb of your choice and a covered dish. Q. How many Quakers does it take to change a lightbulb? A. None. Who needs a lightbulb when you have an inner light? AJ Quote www.asrc.org.au (Asylum Seeker Resource Centre, Melbourne)Helping over 2000 refugees & asylum seekers each monthIMSLP/Petrucci Music LibraryThe Public Domain Music Score Library - Free Sheet Music DownloadsLooking for classical sheet music? Try IMSLP first!
Administrators Naomi Posted October 30, 2012 Administrators Posted October 30, 2012 Quote If your dreams are not big enough to scare you, they are not big enough for God
12tribes Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 They are good Quote Galatians 3:29(29) And if ye be Christ's, then are ye Abraham's seed, and heirs according to the promise.
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