The Dark Side of Wives Submitting to Husbands

[olger]

Let me make a straightforward comment that I hope will be understood.

If you want the world to deal on “happiness,” then you have to understand that your man will leave you any day you don’t make him happy, and will not honor you or any vow, because he doesn’t have to! You’ve already taught him that if you’re “happy,” that’s the only thing that matters.

Marriage is the fire of life—that somehow it’s designed to refine all our dysfunction and spur us into progressive wholeness. In this light, contrary to popular opinion, the goal of marriage is not happiness. And although happiness is often a very real byproduct of a healthy relationship, marriage has a far more significant purpose in sight. It is designed to pull dysfunction to the surface of our lives, set it on fire and help us grow.

God is not concerned about our happiness. He calls us to be faithful, and when we are faithful, joy comes into our lives.

G

[Planey]

God is not concerned about our happiness.

Hi, M.T.

Gwyddon sounds better and better...

Graeme

[LifeHiscost]

Quote:

God is not concerned about our happiness. He calls us to be faithful, and when we are faithful, joy comes into our lives.

G

_________________________

Hi, M.T.

Gwyddon sounds better and better...

Graeme

A different way of expressing it might be that God does not put our happiness on this earth as the highest priority, for He knows that if we suffer here as a result of striving to bring honor and glory to Him, our reward and bliss in the Kingdom He has gone to prepare for us, will last eternally.

That may not be enough to move one from Gwyddon to the only Creator there is, but is indicative of what one is sure to receive, depending upon their choice of Life or oblivion.

"When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, the results are very clear: sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures, idolatry, sorcery, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division, envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other sins like these. Let me tell you again, as I have before, that anyone living that sort of life will not inherit the Kingdom of God.

But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!" Galatians 5:19-23 NLT

God cares!

[LifeHiscost]

Quote:

Happy wife, happy life?

God cares!

[olger]

Originally Posted By: olger

God is not concerned about our happiness.

Hi, M.T.

Gwyddon sounds better and better...

Graeme

You are looking for excuses to justify unbelief, Planey.

`G

[Tom Wetmore]

...God is not concerned about our happiness.

I'm not sure, but I think that is one of the most absurd and foolish statements I have seen in a long time.

The very first thing that came to mind was Jesus' statement in John 15:11, "These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may remain in you, and that your joy may be full."

A quick search of Scripture reveals that words such as happy, joy, glad, etc. are used hundreds of times, and often in direct and explicit contradiction to the above statement.

But even in context of the point you were attempting to make, it does not fit or make sense. Yes, there are other things that are also important. But to relegate happiness to merely a serendipitous byproduct that doesn't really matter so much in a marriage is contrary to common sense about lasting relationships in general and marriage in particular. And more to my point, it is not Biblical as it relates to marriage. Frequently marriage in Scripture is associated with happiness.

Quite frankly, I think you have it all backwards. It is what seems to be an effort to define normal using abnormal as the model. I think the refining aspect you speak of is the byproduct with happiness being a significant motivating or driving force and a primary beneficial aspect of marriage. Quote simply, we get married for happiness reasons and in a successful marriage we become stronger and better people together as a unit working together. If there is no happiness in the relationship, or if it is only one sided, all the rest does not happen, including the lasting part.

However, I can see how you might arrive at such an upside down POV on marriage if there is this unequal submission concept, as one bows to authority and discipline in order to reform and correct what is perceived as inferior qualities or dysfunctionality of masculine vs. feminine. If perfecting, subduing and disciplining disfunctionality is the goal, join the military. I am not sure happiness is a big concern there. The drill sarg will strongly reinforce the notion that he is not concerned at all with your happiness.

God isn't like that.

[olger]

A different way of expressing it might be that God does not put our happiness on this earth as the highest priority, for He knows that if we suffer here as a result of striving to bring honor and glory to Him, our reward and bliss in the Kingdom He has gone to prepare for us, will last eternally.

"When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, the results are very clear: sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures, idolatry, sorcery, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division, envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other sins like these. Let me tell you again, as I have before, that anyone living that sort of life will not inherit the Kingdom of God.

But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!" Galatians 5:19-23 NLT

God cares!

You get it LHC, Well done and well put.

I have seen so many people justify sin with the words "It makes me happy."

God places a higher priority on faithfulness than He does on happiness. He knows that joy will result from faithfulness - "If ye know these things, happy are ye if you do them."

Rejoice always,

G

[olger]

Hi Tom,

It is a matter of priorities. Sure, God wants us to be joyful - He tells us that.

But there are times when doing the right thing isn't happy or pleasant - and joy comes as a result. "Sorrow may endure for a night and joy comes in the morning" (Psalm 30:5). This principle of delayed gratification undergirds the entire plan of salvation, and also your life and mine. Jesus' own statement in John 17 "Father I desire that they also whom Thou hast given me may be with me where I am" (v. 24) is the echo of an unanswered prayer - an awesome outworking of the principle of delayed gratification.

You are trying toooo hard find fault, and weaving your version of evangelical feminism into the conversation is an attempt to create meaning where there isn't any. I have seen this pattern from you lately, and though curious, it doesn't keep me from loving you.

All for now,

G

[debbym]

Quote:

I'm not sure, but I think that is one of the most absurd and foolish statements I have seen in a long time.

The very first thing that came to mind was Jesus' statement in John 15:11, "These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may remain in you, and that your joy may be full."

i do agree with you Tom, God is very concerned about our happiness. Our happiness brings glory to God.

so does our suffering when we remain trusting in Him through it, and then if our faith is overcome, we bring glory to God when we turn to him for healing and recovery.

i just read yesterday how the disciples completely lost all their faith through their suffering, but still deeply loved Jesus more then ever, even when faith was gone.... when they saw all their hopes lost when Jesus died. this so encouraged me.

not all pleasure brings glory to God, but unselfishness love is the highest pleasure.

it is the enemy who comes to kill steal and destroy, but Jesus came that we might have life and have life more abundantly.

and abundant life is not life without happiness. He does not promise that we will not also endure suffering, but he weighs and measures it to us. no matter how deep the suffering that may come our way he still sends the sunshine and the birds singing, and the green trees, and sunsets. He will send angels too in our deepest moments of need when all else fails.

ultimately we are never left without the presence of the Holy Spirit, who is also called the comforter. why comforter? because God is concerned for our happiness.

i really don't imagine olger is military in his control and authority over his wife and family. i really think he hopes to take her and her thoughts and feelings fully into consideration in all of his leadership decisions. i believe they are a real team, well i do hope they are. Jesus is never arbitrary in his control and authority over us. it happens only when we give our glad full and free consent. it is something to be glad for.

i can't imagine Adam giving Eve any orders after their fall. after all he did what he did fully knowing what he was doing. He was not deceived at all, his sin was far worse. i imagine his humility was very deep. i imagine they walked in deep sorrow together and slowly gathered to each other all the joy and happiness they could muster, along with the presence of the Holy Comforter, and the remaining glories of nature, and love in their families. And God was glorified in their happiness, and the enemy was not pleased that he could not successfully rob them of every joy, even though they were exiled from Eden.

when you have coerced control you will never have joy or peace or love, never. it is a very dark side of forced submission.

scripture tells us we are to willingly submit to one another.

[Gail]

Quote:

when you have coerced control you will never have joy or peace or love, never. it is a very dark side of forced submission.

Exactly! What sort of victory is that?

[olger]

i really don't imagine olger is military in his control and authority over his wife and family. i really think he hopes to take her and her thoughts and feelings fully into consideration in all of his leadership decisions. i believe they are a real team, well i do hope they are. Jesus is never arbitrary in his control and authority over us. it happens only when we give our glad full and free consent. it is something to be glad for.

Exactly. A wise husband will take his wife's feelings into account when called to make decisions.

Rejoice always,

G

[olger]

Quote:

when you have coerced control you will never have joy or peace or love, never. it is a very dark side of forced submission.

Exactly! What sort of victory is that?

That would be a defeat.

(1 Corinthians 6:7).

Rejoice always,

`G

[LifeHiscost]

Quote:

God isn't like that.

re: #659855 - Today at 14:37 other than being an unfortunate choice of wording in his post, it is doubtful Og doesn't believe most everything in your post. Give the man a little slack for not being as perfect as you are.

God cares!

[LifeHiscost]

Quote:

I have seen so many people justify sin with the words "It makes me happy."

God places a higher priority on faithfulness than He does on happiness. He knows that joy will result from faithfulness - "If ye know these things, happy are ye if you do them."

Rejoice always,

G

God cares!

[LifeHiscost]

Quote:

ultimately we are never left without the presence of the Holy Spirit, who is also called the comforter. why comforter? because God is concerned for our happiness.

i really don't imagine olger is military in his control and authority over his wife and family. i really think he hopes to take her and her thoughts and feelings fully into consideration in all of his leadership decisions. i believe they are a real team, well i do hope they are. Jesus is never arbitrary in his control and authority over us. it happens only when we give our glad full and free consent. it is something to be glad for.

i can't imagine Adam giving Eve any orders after their fall. after all he did what he did fully knowing what he was doing. He was not deceived at all, his sin was far worse. i imagine his humility was very deep. i imagine they walked in deep sorrow together and slowly gathered to each other all the joy and happiness they could muster, along with the presence of the Holy Comforter, and the remaining glories of nature, and love in their families. And God was glorified in their happiness, and the enemy was not pleased that he could not successfully rob them of every joy, even though they were exiled from Eden.

when you have coerced control you will never have joy or peace or love, never. it is a very dark side of forced submission.

scripture tells us we are to willingly submit to one another.

And besides..."...know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?" 1 Cor 6:19 KJV

"And I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Comforter (Counselor, Helper, Intercessor, Advocate, Strengthener, and Standby), that He may remain with you forever—"John 14:17 AMP

And if the temple, wouldn't that mean that the things of the Spirit would be what we share with our mate, unless we be a child of the evil one who was and is..."...a murderer from the beginning and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaks a falsehood, he speaks what is natural to him, for he is a liar [himself] and the father of lies and of all that is false."John 8:44 AMP

God cares!