Members phkrause Posted February 16, 2014 Members Posted February 16, 2014 Three police officers were standing in line at the Pearly Gates. Saint Peter asked the first officer, “What did you do with your life?” “I was a police officer,” he responded. “What kind of police officer?” Saint Peter asked. “I was a vice officer. I kept drugs off the streets and out of the hands of kids.” “Welcome to heaven. You may end the gates.” He asked the second man what he did as a police officer. “I was a traffic officer,” said the man. “I kept the roads and highways safe.” “Welcome to heaven. You may enter the gates.” He asked the third man what he did as a police officer. “I was a military policeman, sir,” replied the man. “Wonderful! I’ve been waiting for you all day!” replied Saint Peter. “I need to take a break! Watch the gate, will you?” Quote phkrause When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice; But when a wicked man rules, the people groan. Proverbs 29;2
Members rudywoofs (Pam) Posted February 16, 2014 Members Posted February 16, 2014 I don't get this one.. Quote Pam Meddle Not In the Affairs of Dragons; for You Are Crunchy and Taste Good with Ketchup. If we all sang the same note in the choir, there'd never be any harmony. Funny, isn't it, how we accept Grace for ourselves and demand justice for others?
Moderators Kevin H Posted February 16, 2014 Moderators Posted February 16, 2014 One of the jobs of military police are to guard the base and man the gates to see who is coming on base Quote
Moderators Kevin H Posted February 16, 2014 Moderators Posted February 16, 2014 Three nurses were in line after the policemen. The first nurse was asked "What kind of nursing did you do" The nurse replied "Hospice" things were punched into a computer and after a few minutes the print out came and it was reviewed and St. Peter said "You helped people and their families during the very hard time of end of life. You gave selflessly and was available all hours of the day and night. Welcome into heaven." The second nurse was asked "What type of nursing did you do?" the nurse replied "I worked for an HMO. Again the information went through the computer and St. Peter said "I have some good news for you and some bad news for you... Yes you are allowed to come into heaven, however you are only allowed to stay 3 days" St. Peter did not even get a chance to ask the 3rd nurse what type of nursing they did as the nurse started right in "Let me save you some time, I was a med-surge floor nurse. I never spent enough time with any of my patients, I kept rushing to keep up with my work, I neglected my family as not only did I have hours of scheduled over time but also routinely stayed over just to finish my routine tasks... My children greeted me with 'someone call the police, there's a stranger sleeping on our couch' I did not get a divorce as my spouse told the judge that I work as a med-surge nurse and the judge declared me legally dead. I kept cursing and swearing when I'd finally get a chance to sit down just to have my call lights go off. The only thing remotely religious that I did was pray that I did not have to give report to some of the nastier nurses on the next shift... with my life I know you don't want me in heaven and I understand that I need to go to hell" the nurse turned to walk away when St. Peter called back and said "Wait a minute, come back here,You don't need to go back there you served your time!" Quote
Members phkrause Posted February 17, 2014 Author Members Posted February 17, 2014 haha good one Kevin Quote phkrause When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice; But when a wicked man rules, the people groan. Proverbs 29;2
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