bonnie Posted July 31, 2014 Posted July 31, 2014 Mom Punishes Daughter By Selling Katy Perry Tickets Online Jul 30th 2014 This may be the first ti1me Katy Perry has been used for punishment. A North Dakota mom sold her teen daughter's tickets to see the singer after some bad behavior. Katy Perry performs onstage during 'The Prismatic World Tour' at Madison Square Garden on July 9, 2014 in New York City. WDAY reports: She posted a short ad to the Fargo/Moorhead Online Garage Sale Facebook page that had a header that said "spoiled brat daughter doesn't deserve these tickets, for sale." The mom, Cindy, hasn't said specifically what her daughter did, but the way she sold those tickets has caused some controversy. HLN reports that some people are criticizing her for being too harsh and say that it should have been handled privately. The mom did not name her 18-year-old daughter. Although, it wasn't exactly public. The Facebook page where the ticket sale was posted is a closed group -- you have to ask permission to join it. The post wouldn't have been visible except to the members of the group. Granted, there are 17,000 of them. People seem torn on the whole public shaming thing. Moms publicly reprimanding their children have made headlines in the past, in incidents reported by WDJT, KERO, and New York Daily News. Each one was met with its fair share of criticism. As for the latest incident of public shaming via Katy Perry, the administrator to the Facebook page reportedly deleted the post after it had received a couple hundred likes and the tickets were sold. Quote Everything you do is based on the choices you make. It's not your parents, your past relationships, your job, the economy, the weather, an argument, or your age that is to blame. You and only you are responsible for every decision and choice you make, period ... ... Wish more people would realize this. Quotes by Susan Gottesman
Members rudywoofs (Pam) Posted July 31, 2014 Members Posted July 31, 2014 while I don't know what activities the 18-yr-old daughter did that irritated her mother, I honestly don't think that a gift (if the tickets *were* a gift) should be taken away. That makes a gift "conditional".... a gift belongs to the recipient to do with what one will -- it doesn't still belong to gifter.. ...my mom did something similar to me when I was a teenager... because mom was mad at something I said (I was something of a smart-mouth), she refused to let me attend a class function that was a once-in-a-lifetime event... I thought it was mean at the time, and I still think it was a mean thing to have done... Quote Pam Meddle Not In the Affairs of Dragons; for You Are Crunchy and Taste Good with Ketchup. If we all sang the same note in the choir, there'd never be any harmony. Funny, isn't it, how we accept Grace for ourselves and demand justice for others?
bonnie Posted July 31, 2014 Author Posted July 31, 2014 while I don't know what activities the 18-yr-old daughter did that irritated her mother, I honestly don't think that a gift (if the tickets *were* a gift) should be taken away. That makes a gift "conditional".... a gift belongs to the recipient to do with what one will -- it doesn't still belong to gifter.. ...my mom did something similar to me when I was a teenager... because mom was mad at something I said (I was something of a smart-mouth), she refused to let me attend a class function that was a once-in-a-lifetime event... I thought it was mean at the time, and I still think it was a mean thing to have done... On one hand did it take the mother 18 years to decide that she raised a spoiled brat? OTOH,it may have been something that she decided this "spoiled brat" wasn't mature enough to go from N.Dakota to New York. If she is still living under her parents roof and it sounds like she is,the mother does have a right to make a decision based on the daughter's behavior. Different parents have different boundries. Sometimes when you have raised a spoiled child it takes something major to get their attention. Quote Everything you do is based on the choices you make. It's not your parents, your past relationships, your job, the economy, the weather, an argument, or your age that is to blame. You and only you are responsible for every decision and choice you make, period ... ... Wish more people would realize this. Quotes by Susan Gottesman
Moderators Gregory Matthews Posted July 31, 2014 Moderators Posted July 31, 2014 The actual ad that the mother placed on the Internet page has been posted online. That ad clearly stated that the tickets are for a performance on August 23, in Fargo, N.D. I have reviewed the performance schedule for the singer and that schedule shows that she will be singing in Fargo, N.D., on August 23. It also shows that the prices for the Fargo performance seem to be what was stated by the mother. On the other hand the ticket prices for the New York performances do not match the prices listed in the ad. I do not believe that the 18 YO woman intended to travel to New Your. Rather I believe that the tickets were for a Fargo North Dakota performance. Quote Gregory
bonnie Posted July 31, 2014 Author Posted July 31, 2014 The actual ad that the mother placed on the Internet page has been posted online. That ad clearly stated that the tickets are for a performance on August 23, in Fargo, N.D. I have reviewed the performance schedule for the singer and that schedule shows that she will be singing in Fargo, N.D., on August 23. It also shows that the prices for the Fargo performance seem to be what was stated by the mother. On the other hand the ticket prices for the New York performances do not match the prices listed in the ad. I do not believe that the 18 YO woman intended to travel to New Your. Rather I believe that the tickets were for a Fargo North Dakota performance. That may be. For some reason the mother decided the daughter wasn't going based on her behavior,regardless of where it was held Quote Everything you do is based on the choices you make. It's not your parents, your past relationships, your job, the economy, the weather, an argument, or your age that is to blame. You and only you are responsible for every decision and choice you make, period ... ... Wish more people would realize this. Quotes by Susan Gottesman
Liz Posted July 31, 2014 Posted July 31, 2014 There really isn't enough information to go on. Were the tickets a gift or a reward for something? What exactly did the teen do or not do that caused this reaction from mom? If the tickets were for a reward and the teen didn't come through with her part of the bargain then mom can resell the tickets. Teen learns that one needs to follow through with whatever one says they will do. If the tickets were a gift and mom just didn't like something the teen did, then while mom may have the "right" to resell the tickets, she just taught the teen that anything that comes from mom will have strings attached. Maybe not the best outcome. Was mom just having a bad day and teen being a teen got on her nerves? While again, she has the right to resell the tickets, teen just learned mom is unstable. Were the tickets from Dad and this was just a power play between the two "parents"? Without knowing more of the story, it's hard to decide if she did the right thing or not. Quote For what will a man be profited, if he gains the whole world, and forfeits his soul? Mat. 16:26Please, support the JDRF and help find a cure for Type 1 Diabetes. Please, support the March of Dimes.
bonnie Posted July 31, 2014 Author Posted July 31, 2014 There really isn't enough information to go on. Were the tickets a gift or a reward for something? What exactly did the teen do or not do that caused this reaction from mom? If the tickets were for a reward and the teen didn't come through with her part of the bargain then mom can resell the tickets. Teen learns that one needs to follow through with whatever one says they will do. If the tickets were a gift and mom just didn't like something the teen did, then while mom may have the "right" to resell the tickets, she just taught the teen that anything that comes from mom will have strings attached. Maybe not the best outcome. Was mom just having a bad day and teen being a teen got on her nerves? While again, she has the right to resell the tickets, teen just learned mom is unstable. Were the tickets from Dad and this was just a power play between the two "parents"? Without knowing more of the story, it's hard to decide if she did the right thing or not. All of the above may be true,or she has a daughter that is behaving in an obnoxious manner.Thankfully by the time our boys were 18 we did not have to worry about discipline. We did not have many rules but the few we had were written in concrete."These " are things you do not do,period.It worked well for us Quote Everything you do is based on the choices you make. It's not your parents, your past relationships, your job, the economy, the weather, an argument, or your age that is to blame. You and only you are responsible for every decision and choice you make, period ... ... Wish more people would realize this. Quotes by Susan Gottesman
Administrators Tom Wetmore Posted July 31, 2014 Administrators Posted July 31, 2014 In my own personal experience, public humiliation as discipline of a child and especially a teenager, does not achieve the desired results. It may have short term impact that thrills the soul of a vindictive or impatient and frustrated parent. But it will backfire in time. Long term it will more likely have the opposite of the desired effect. It can light slow burning fuse of anger and resentment that can last a lifetime. Wining the battle and losing the war... Quote "Absurdity reigns and confusion makes it look good." "Sinless perfection is such a shallow goal." "I love God only as much as the person I love the least." *Forgiveness is always good news. And that is the gospel truth. (And finally, the ideas expressed above are solely my person views and not that of any organization with which I am associated.)
bonnie Posted July 31, 2014 Author Posted July 31, 2014 In my own personal experience, public humiliation as discipline of a child and especially a teenager, does not achieve the desired results. It may have short term impact that thrills the soul of a vindictive or impatient and frustrated parent. But it will backfire in time. Long term it will more likely have the opposite of the desired effect. It can light slow burning fuse of anger and resentment that can last a lifetime. Wining the battle and losing the war... I am not sure I would describe parents that do things differently than I would vindictive.Possibly frustrated to realize at age 18 they have raised a "spoiled brat". Many of our friends disagreed with the way we raised our sons,but the methods we chose worked well for ours Quote Everything you do is based on the choices you make. It's not your parents, your past relationships, your job, the economy, the weather, an argument, or your age that is to blame. You and only you are responsible for every decision and choice you make, period ... ... Wish more people would realize this. Quotes by Susan Gottesman
Moderators Gregory Matthews Posted July 31, 2014 Moderators Posted July 31, 2014 Quote: Thankfully by the time our boys were 18 we did not have to worry about discipline. At age 18, in many places, the person is an adult and discipline is very limited. Quote Gregory
bonnie Posted July 31, 2014 Author Posted July 31, 2014 Quote: Thankfully by the time our boys were 18 we did not have to worry about discipline. At age 18, in many places, the person is an adult and discipline is very limited. Very true. Ours sons had a choice,follow what they knew to be non negotiable behavior or set up their own home where they could set whatever rules they wished without our interference. That doesn't sound like that is the case with this young woman. Quote Everything you do is based on the choices you make. It's not your parents, your past relationships, your job, the economy, the weather, an argument, or your age that is to blame. You and only you are responsible for every decision and choice you make, period ... ... Wish more people would realize this. Quotes by Susan Gottesman
JoeMo Posted July 31, 2014 Posted July 31, 2014 Quote: Ours sons had a choice,follow what they knew to be non negotiable behavior or set up their own home where they could set whatever rules they wished without our interference. We did the same with our daughters when they turned 18. Of course, one was away at college living in a dorm; so our control was limited. Funny how they both ended up being more conservative and well-behaved when they moved out. When they were paying their own way and working out their own issues with the world, it was amazing how "smart" mom and dad became in their eyes; and how quickly they learned that the world had much harsher consequences for bad behavior than mom and dad ever put on them. They quickly became very compliant and attentive to parental advice. I agree that, if the daughter was 18, it was kinda weird that the mom would pull that kind of a stunt. I would have been very upset with my parents had they done that. Come to think of it, they did! When is was 19 in 1969, My buddies and I were going to go to Woodstock. My buddies were in the car smoking weed. My mom caught them and wouldn't let me get in the car with them. My buddies left without me. I don't know who I was more mad at; my mom for treating me like a little boy in front of my friends, or by buddies for being stupid enough to smoke weed in front of my mom. At any rate, We all got over it; and I'm now glad that my mom was watching out for my best interests. Quote
bonnie Posted July 31, 2014 Author Posted July 31, 2014 I agree that, if the daughter was 18, it was kinda weird that the mom would pull that kind of a stunt. I would have been very upset with my parents had they done that. I have known parents that suddenly woke up to find they had raised a obnoxious spoiled brat.Some did take drastic measures trying to undo what they failed to do before. It is possible this girl is still in high school and then you can bet that would place her under my control. Quote Everything you do is based on the choices you make. It's not your parents, your past relationships, your job, the economy, the weather, an argument, or your age that is to blame. You and only you are responsible for every decision and choice you make, period ... ... Wish more people would realize this. Quotes by Susan Gottesman
JoeMo Posted August 1, 2014 Posted August 1, 2014 Quote: It is possible this girl is still in high school and then you can bet that would place her under my control. Good point. As long as my kids (or anyone else, for that matter) live in my house - even if they are 30 (especially if I am supporting them) - they live by my rules or they can find another place to live. Quote
bonnie Posted August 1, 2014 Author Posted August 1, 2014 Good point. As long as my kids (or anyone else, for that matter) live in my house - even if they are 30 (especially if I am supporting them) - they live by my rules or they can find another place to live. My oldest is 52,youngest 41.It is interesting to listen to them now on their childhood. Two statements that have been made really stand out for me. We were talking about some problems that a couple were having with their teenagers. I made a statement to the boys I was glad that they never rebelled. Our oldest son laughed and said,"But mom,dad never said we could" Another son said, "They had a healthy fear(respect) of their father and the consequences for rebelling" With three sons teenagers at once they could be a handful but I never had to worry about drinking or drugs. I am sure they felt at times we were wrong but I can't imagine they would feel we were being vindictive.Maybe impatient and frustrated. But not that it would light a slow burning fuse of anger and resentment that can last a lifetime. There are of course parents that should never have been parents,but most want the best for their kids. Parents make mistakes. For the daughter in the story she may have been disrespectful and defied her mother. If that is the "maturity" she used,maybe she wasn't mature enough to go to a concert,regardless of where it was at Quote Everything you do is based on the choices you make. It's not your parents, your past relationships, your job, the economy, the weather, an argument, or your age that is to blame. You and only you are responsible for every decision and choice you make, period ... ... Wish more people would realize this. Quotes by Susan Gottesman
JoeMo Posted August 1, 2014 Posted August 1, 2014 Bonnie, I have 7 kids - 4 boys (all the oldest) and 3 girls (the youngest) from 2 different marriages. 7 kids was tough enough - not to mention integrating them into a functional blended family. I can't say that all my kids were angels - a couple of them were nightmares. But you know, unconditional love (sometimes very tough love) and consistency brought them all back into being law-abiding, productive citizens. I wish I could say they are all believers; but I can't. Quote
bonnie Posted August 1, 2014 Author Posted August 1, 2014 Bonnie,I have 7 kids - 4 boys (all the oldest) and 3 girls (the youngest) from 2 different marriages. 7 kids was tough enough - not to mention integrating them into a functional blended family. I can't say that all my kids were angels - a couple of them were nightmares. But you know, unconditional love (sometimes very tough love) and consistency brought them all back into being law-abiding, productive citizens. I wish I could say they are all believers; but I can't. Don't get me wrong.My four were far from angels.Stubborn,headstrong and opinionated,they take after their father.But they knew those traits better be tempered with respect towards their father and I. And when push came to shove,our wishes would prevail as long as they were under our roof. We are still finding out incidences that would have given me a nervous breakdown when they were teenagers. Two of my biggest fears were alcohol and drugs. Somehow we escaped that. I am very grateful and sometimes mystified that all four of ours are"believers". It is comforting to know the men they have grown in to and the families they are raising. Quote Everything you do is based on the choices you make. It's not your parents, your past relationships, your job, the economy, the weather, an argument, or your age that is to blame. You and only you are responsible for every decision and choice you make, period ... ... Wish more people would realize this. Quotes by Susan Gottesman
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