Men Are Statistically Incapable Of Marriage Until After 30… So Stop Worrying

[bonnie]

Men Are Statistically Incapable Of Marriage Until After 30… So Stop Worrying, Ladies

Marriage. We’re sick of the word.

Sick of talking about it, looking at it and thinking about it. We’re sick of hearing about it, liking Facebook photos of it and worrying about it.

While we’re trying to have a career, make new friends and establish ourselves in a new city, we’re weighed down by this looming inevitability. It is inevitable, isn’t it? We’re going to get married someday, right? Right?!

While every woman refuses to admit it’s even on her mind, it’s sitting there, like a parrot on our shoulders, squeaking in our ears, reminding us that this is the time. This is when our parents were meeting each other, settling down and starting a future.

So, why does it feel like we couldn’t be further from it? Why does it feel like every boyfriend, hookup and one-night stand is just another step away from it? Why does it feel like all the men we’re meeting are just immature boys?

Unfortunately, scientific evidence has proved that that’s exactly what they are: immature. And for women everywhere, the wait for marriage may be that much longer — 11 years longer, in fact.

Research commissioned by Nickelodeon UK reports that men do not reach maturity until 43. Women, on the other hand, are proven to reach maturity at 32, a whopping 11 years before their male counterparts.

This looming feeling that we’re never going to find a man to settle down with isn’t just a paranoia, but a proven problem. Contrary to the way men make us feel, we aren’t crazy for thinking that every guy we meet is just an overgrown child.

Unless you’re dealing with men 11 years your senior, you are indeed chasing boys. Boys who aren’t ready to talk about keeping the seat down, let alone marriage.

There’s a silver lining though. You’re not the only one sitting in the pew as your 20-something friends get married, wondering when you’ll be next. In fact, they’re the exception, the odd ones, the outliers.

According to a study by Pew Research Center, only 26 percent of Generation-Y is married, and it doesn’t look like the rates are going up anytime soon. If it feels like we’re bucking the trend, it’s because we are.

At just 26 percent, we’re at almost half the marital rate of our parents: 48 percent of the Baby Boomers were married between the ages of 18 to 32. Almost half their generation was tying the knot at our age, while only one fourth of ours is taking the plunge.

It makes sense, however, with the later maturity rates of men and more findings that Millennials don’t really trust one another.

Pew Research also reports that on top of the wide maturity gap, Millennials have lower levels of social trust than any other generation. It’s not surprising that only 19 percent of us believe that people can be trusted, compared to 40 percent of our parents’ generation who had faith in one another.

Social media, high divorce rates and the innumerable crimes against humanity we’ve witnessed in our short lifetimes have left deep scars and, as any of our psychiatrists might put it, some serious attachment issues.

Unfortunately for women, as our maternal instincts and cravings for a life partner start kicking in, the men we long to tame are years behind and may never actually be ready to give us what we want.

They’ve Got No Money

According to a report by CNN, marriage rates fell drastically during the great recession; in time of financial hardship, finding a job is the top priority, trumping any idea of finding a partner and paying for a lavish wedding.

We’ve seen the results of the recession trickling into many areas our post-grad lives; however, marriage rates may be the most noticeable effect. People just don’t want to get married when they don’t have money, not to mention that Generation-Y is the most indebted generation ever to come out of college.

According to Pew Research on social and demographic trends,

Millennials are also the first in the modern era to have higher levels of student loan debt, poverty and unemployment, and lower levels of wealth and personal income than their two immediate predecessor generations (Gen Xers and Boomers) had at the same stage of their life cycles.

Not only are we going to be single for a long while, but also completely broke.

They’re Still Living With Their Mamas

They just don’t have their sh*t together.

On one end, it’s not their fault. As mentioned earlier, the recession affected everyone and the level of student debt is astronomical. Women, however, have found more ways to crawl out of this hole than men.

One of the biggest turn offs for women is men who not only don’t know what they want, but don’t know who they are. While we have careers, goals and aspirations, they are content to just live at home with their parents and wait for a career to fall in their laps.

According to Pew Social Trends, in 2012, 36 percent of Generation-Y were still living at home. That’s 21.6 million Millennials in their basements, still letting their mothers cook for them, still refusing to grow up.

The study also confirmed that men of this generation were more likely than women to be living at home, with 40 percent of men refusing to move out, compared to only 32 percent of women.

This feeling that guys just don’t have their sh*t together, can’t take care of themselves and will never be ready to take care of you isn’t a paranoid delusion, but the cold hard truth.

They’re Scared Of The Unknown

Kids, mortgages, divorce.

Men, like children, are scared of what they don’t know or can’t understand. They let the horror stories of the older kids scare them into corners, afraid to come out until they know that they will be caught by the right arms.

According to bachelor Carl Weisman in an article with Reuters, “Men are 10 times more scared of marrying the wrong person than of never getting married at all.” This is a generation that’s grown up around divorce, it’s only natural that the fear of a bad marriage outweighs the fear of perpetual bachelorhood.

This includes the financial issues that also come into play with failed nuptials. The idea of losing the money they worked so hard to earn is a major fear of Millennial men, learning from the mistakes and empty bank accounts of their predecessors.

Women, however, have more faith. According to a report from the “Journal of Economic Behavior and Organization,” women are more trusting than men, scoring consistently higher on scales of trust than men on personality inventories taken from 1920 to 1992.

The ironic nature of the situation is that as men give us more and more reason not to trust them, we still remain the more trusting of the group.

[Gail]

Bonnie, what is the source of the article?

[bonnie]

Bonnie, what is the source of the article?

Another man bashing article by the Huffington Post

http://elitedaily.com/life/culture/feels...change_facebook

[Gail]

Thanks

[Tom Wetmore]

Another man bashing article by the Huffington Post

http://elitedaily.com/life/culture/feels...change_facebook

Where is the Huffington Post connection to this article?

[Ellen]

The confusion of couples whether to marry or not seems to be part of the degradation of our civilization. Many young people have seen broken marriages and hurt families; they hesitate to tie the knot or commit to a long-term relationship. A sign of our times.

Whether men are immature or childish only describes a percentage of adults.

[bonnie]

Where is the Huffington Post connection to this article?

https://www.facebook.com/HuffingtonPost/posts/10152376094886130

[bonnie]

The confusion of couples whether to marry or not seems to be part of the degradation of our civilization. Many young people have seen broken marriages and hurt families; they hesitate to tie the knot or commit to a long-term relationship. A sign of our times.

Whether men are immature or childish only describes a percentage of adults.

There are men that are childish and immature just as there are women.Men don't own those traits

[Gerr]

I was 28 when I got married. It never crossed my mind to do so until I knew I could support a wife and family.

[Narcah]

As a general rule men don't want to get married because they get the perks for free. If women would deny men the privilege of enjoying their bodies until after marriage, boys would man-up and become men , and pop the question. Guaranteed.

[Gregory Matthews]

Quote:

I was 28 when I got married. It never crossed my mind to do so until I knew I could support a wife and family.

I was 27 when I first got married. I was not about to have a serious relationship until I had some means of supporting a family.

I got married four months before I graduated from Andrews and went to work as a pastor.

[rudywoofs (Pam)]

As a general rule men don't want to get married because they get the perks for free. If women would deny men the privilege of enjoying their bodies until after marriage, boys would man-up and become men , and pop the question. Guaranteed.

agreed... as my Grandma said, "why buy a cow when you can get the milk for free?"

[Tom Wetmore]

Originally Posted By: Tom Wetmore

Where is the Huffington Post connection to this article?

https://www.facebook.com/HuffingtonPost/posts/10152376094886130

Did not originate from Huffington Post. They linked to original site Elite Daily which is not connected to Huffington Post. For that matter, as is clearly noted from the Elite Daily article, they were not making this up to do some male bashing as you so bluntly described it. They were reporting studies and surveys done by the reliable and respected Pew Research Center, among others.

[Gail]

Yeah, Huffpost imports from a lot of sources

[bonnie]

Did not originate from Huffington Post. They linked to original site Elite Daily which is not connected to Huffington Post. For that matter, as is clearly noted from the Elite Daily article, they were not making this up to do some male bashing as you so bluntly described it. They were reporting studies and surveys done by the reliable and respected Pew Research Center, among others.

I don't know if you have a son or sons,but I have four. If my sons could be described as this I would not consider it a compliment.Rather that my husband and I had failed miserably.

Three of my sons married at 21 and one at 25. They were not overgrown children.

Women can be and are "overgrown " children as well.

This looming feeling that we’re never going to find a man to settle down with isn’t just a paranoia, but a proven problem. Contrary to the way men make us feel, we aren’t crazy for thinking that every guy we meet is just an overgrown child.

Unless you’re dealing with men 11 years your senior, you are indeed chasing boys. Boys who aren’t ready to talk about keeping the seat down, let alone marriage.

They’re Still Living With Their Mamas

They just don’t have their sh*t together.

One of the biggest turn offs for women is men who not only don’t know what they want, but don’t know who they are. While we have careers, goals and aspirations, they are content to just live at home with their parents and wait for a career to fall in their laps.

That’s 21.6 million Millennials in their basements, still letting their mothers cook for them, still refusing to grow up.

[james423]

Got married at 24 after two years of boarding academy teaching. Yes, I had some growing up to do, but those two years were the first two years on my own. Helping were some unique experiences - taking the freshmen class to the funeral of a classmate who tried to swim a nearby turbulent river on a dare, for example.

Haven't had that experience since although having to deal with a senior African Adventist girl who was shunned by the rest because she had a child out of wedlock to prove she could have one (local custom) comes close. And being threatened by the country's president with jail (with a near mob to back him up) because a Rhodesian mission worker ran a road right through a person's garden (he was illegally on mission property) comes very close.

I guess these are unique experiences by age 27 or 28, and I certainly did not have any college debt to deal with (I worked twenty hours a week for the college, which paid for my tuition). Perhaps I am unique and don't fit the group the article discusses.

[Tom Wetmore]

I don't know if you have a son or sons,but I have four. If my sons could be described as this I would not consider it a compliment.Rather that my husband and I had failed miserably.

Three of my sons married at 21 and one at 25. They were not overgrown children.

Women can be and are "overgrown " children as well.

This looming feeling that we’re never going to find a man to settle down with isn’t just a paranoia, but a proven problem. Contrary to the way men make us feel, we aren’t crazy for thinking that every guy we meet is just an overgrown child.

Unless you’re dealing with men 11 years your senior, you are indeed chasing boys. Boys who aren’t ready to talk about keeping the seat down, let alone marriage.

They’re Still Living With Their Mamas

They just don’t have their sh*t together.

One of the biggest turn offs for women is men who not only don’t know what they want, but don’t know who they are. While we have careers, goals and aspirations, they are content to just live at home with their parents and wait for a career to fall in their laps.

That’s 21.6 million Millennials in their basements, still letting their mothers cook for them, still refusing to grow up.

I am not entirely sure what your point is really, nor why you personally think what the article is saying is a personal affront to you and the men in your life. Nor do I really grasp why that apparently so clouds your thinking that you do not seem to understand that it is not about any of you in particular but rather the trend among people in general and representative of a far wider cross section of humanity perhaps not like you at all, many, if not most, without the advantages of stellar upbringing by kindly and thoughtful Christian parents. (You might want to take note that Elite Daily is written by millennials for millennials, not our generation anyway...)

I am delighted to know that your sons are fine mature gentlemen that have turned out so well. So clearly the article was not about them after all. No need to be overally sensitive since you aren't the subject of the article or the object of the studies In question. But I am a bit amused by your wondering about me, seemingly oblivious that you are asking it as if you don't seem to realize I am a man and quite possibly aquainted with maybe a few other men...

[bonnie]

I am not entirely sure what your point is really, nor why you personally think what the article is saying is a personal affront to you and the men in your life. Nor do I really grasp why that apparently so clouds your thinking that you do not seem to understand that it is not about any of you in particular but rather the trend among people in general and representative of a far wider cross section of humanity perhaps not like you at all, many, if not most, without the advantages of stellar upbringing by kindly and thoughtful Christian parents. (You might want to take note that Elite Daily is written by millennials for millennials, not our generation anyway...)

[Tom Wetmore]

Bonnie, I hear what you are saying. But the way in which you are saying it, the tone and word choice, conveys a message from you that is bashing women as being immature and big spoiled babies. That seems to show your protective bias for your sons and against other women. Negative personal experiences perhaps? What is a bit mystifying is the sense of defensiveness I get from what you are saying in reaction to this article.

I draw from it that the studies are finding a different rate of maturation between men and women, which is nothing new, but that in the younger millennial generation it is showing itself to be perhaps more the case with higher numbers of young adult men not cutting the apron strings or really getting down to adult responsibilities. There is a clear showing of difference generationally. And I think there is some truth about that. Your experience with your sons of a different generation and of our own generations are not so much in the picture or the subject. That is why understanding that his is an article focused on millennials is relieving and that your reaction is really beside the point, or simply missing the point entirely.

[bonnie]

Bonnie, I hear what you are saying. But the way in which you are saying it, the tone and word choice, conveys a message from you that is bashing women as being immature and big spoiled babies. That seems to show your protective bias for your sons and against other women. Negative personal experiences perhaps? What is a bit mystifying is the sense of defensiveness I get from what you are saying in reaction to this article.

[Gail]

I am sorry that kids today are delayed in leaving home these days because of the expense of going to school to get the degree they need to get a basic good job.

[bonnie]

I am sorry that kids today are delayed in leaving home these days because of the expense of going to school to get the degree they need to get a basic good job.

Times are not easy,but this is hardly a unique generation.Almost each preceding generation has had economic hardship.

Those that were coming to adulthood during the depression knew more than a little about economic hardship.

Generally they were not willing to stay dependent on parents or government.

[pierrepaul]

Not every adult child who shares living space with parents is dependent or immature, and sharing living space with parents is not evidence of an adult child "not having his *** together". And of course marriage is not evidence of maturity - as often as not, marriage is evidence of the immaturity of both parties.

[CoAspen]

Well said!

[nuff sed]

Sure does look like I goofed getting married at 22. Oh well, after 59 years I guess that there is nothing I can do about it now!!!! Nuff Sed