No best friend? You're not alone out there

[Aliensanctuary]

http://www.today.com/health/no-best-friend-youre-not-alone-out-there-1D80063340

Anyone here have a best friend? I haven't had any buddies for a number of years. I just don't seem to have any common interests with the few men that I interact with. I'm OK with having my wife as my best friend, although there are the occasional moments of...differences of opinion.

[Gail]

One good friend can make a lot of difference in a person's life :)

[Gregory Matthews]

At the risk of being misunderstood: One's wife/husband cannot be expected to provide everything that the spouse needs.

Back in the ancient days when a pastor's spouse was expected to be everything that the pastor/church needed in a spouse, that idea resulted in a lot of painful marriages. The primary objective of a ministerial student should not be to find a spouse who can play the piano and lead the song service.

One can have friends, even of the same gender, without endangering the marriage.

A significant factor in this is: Is there openness in the relationship rather than secrets? Secrets in relationships are problematic. Openness can be healthy.

Let us say that two married people, who work together, are friends. Can each go home at the end of the day and say to their spouse: X and I had lunch together today?

[JoeMo]

Quote:

At the risk of being misunderstood: One's wife/husband cannot be expected to provide everything that the spouse needs.

To expect their spouse to be everything a person needs in unrealistic and setting the relationship up for problems. I really, really want my spouse. But do I need her? Will I cease to exist without her? Probably for a while; but I hope not forever.

I have close friends - both male and female - outside of my marriage (mostly from work; some from church).

Quote:

Secrets in relationships are problematic.

Amen to that! Keeping secrets from those you allegedly love is a form of distrust. I also think couples who "never argue" are headed for problems. Two people cannot have a meaningful relationship without some conflict or disagreement. It is working though those conflicts in a positive manner that strengthens relationships.

[rudywoofs (Pam)]

my best friend is my dog...

[Sojourner]

http://www.today.com/health/no-best-friend-youre-not-alone-out-there-1D80063340

Anyone here have a best friend? I haven't had any buddies for a number of years. I just don't seem to have any common interests with the few men that I interact with. I'm OK with having my wife as my best friend, although there are the occasional moments of...differences of opinion.

The key thing is to put yourself out there and meet people AS. Having friendships is a good thing and yet its something to work at also. Do you participate in Facebook? Sometimes that can be a great place to make new contacts with people that have similar interests to yourself.

[Bravus]

I have lots of online friends - some of them I have even met face-to-face!

My wife is definitely my best friend, and my daughters are good friends, with different personalities and interests, and they have both chosen partners who are now also good friends. There are some colleagues who are also friends.

I do think online friends, for some personalities at least, can be very important, and dismissing them as 'virtual' doesn't make sense.

On the other hand my beloved doesn't 'do' online to any great extent, and would very much like to have more face-to-face contact with friends.

[JoeMo]

To have friends, one must be a friend.

[Liz]

My husband is my best friend, I can also talk to my mom or my sister about anything that is bothering me--except marriage related problems--I do not talk about my spouse to them. I have some wonderful online friends that I can talk to about anything under the sun, and they will pray for me; and I do the same for them.

[LifeHiscost]

To have friends, one must be a friend.

"A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother."Prov 18:24 KJV

Hope ya'll have a .

God is Love! Jesus saves!

[JoeMo]

LHC,

The friend who sticks closer than a brother is Jesus. It takes a special person to be a recluse who's only friend is Jesus. In previous ages, they were known as hermits. God's Word tells us to not forsake the fellowship of the brethren. To me, that is an encouragement to make friends.

There may be those who have a spiritual gift to embrace no one but Jesus for years on end. I'm not one of those people. Sure, I like my alone time; but after a day or so, I want to be with other people; and I would prefer those others to be my friends (including my beloved wife and children). I have no problem reaching out to others for friendship. If they reject me as a friend, there are others who won't.

[Gail]

Our Lord gave us an example. He had his times of prayer and his closet was a secluded spot on a mountain. But afterward He mingled. Why? Because the nature of God's love is to give. Giving seeks a recipient.

Our Lord did have earthly friends, but every one deserted Him that night in Gethsemane. So He did indeed suffer loneliness as some of us do.

[Guest]

http://www.today.com/health/no-best-friend-youre-not-alone-out-there-1D80063340

Anyone here have a best friend? I haven't had any buddies for a number of years. I just don't seem to have any common interests with the few men that I interact with. I'm OK with having my wife as my best friend, although there are the occasional moments of...differences of opinion.

it is an interesting question and i think i understand where you are coming from.

being in Jesus we are aliens to this world anyway,

i had good close friends when i lived in the city, which suffered a bit when we moved to the country but made new friends.

then a couple of health issues (get tired very quickly) i prioritized where i should spend my time, then i came across the SDA teachings and i found that the churches i went to just annoyed me due to false teachings so i stopped going (there is no SDA in my home town) and even though i never pushed the SDA teachings (but did occasionally talk about it) friends slowly drifted away.

the internet has been fantastic for me - i can get on when i am not tired and it gives me more social interaction when i need it........ interacting with ppl should never be underestimated!!

being a non-drinker, non-smoker, get's tired quickly in a small country town is hard enough - i think embracing the teachings of SDA has made it a lot harder..... but i wouldn't go against the truth i have learned

someone above is right, it takes energy and effort to make friends, quite often we need to make changes in ourselves to yeald results.

it is important to socialize if not in person maybe via internet.

i hope this helps, and what you were getting at ??

[Gail]

Thank you for coming here, Chrysalis! I hope that you are able to find fellowship here. I love the dear ones here that I am able to pray and praise with and share difficulties and just send cyber hugs with.

Like you, I have limited energy. The people here and this venue has been a lifesaver to me May you be blessed!

[Guest]

Thank you for coming here, Chrysalis! I hope that you are able to find fellowship here. I love the dear ones here that I am able to pray and praise with and share difficulties and just send cyber hugs with.

Like you, I have limited energy. The people here and this venue has been a lifesaver to me May you be blessed!

thankyou you too

[Aliensanctuary]

There are a number of members here whom I would enjoy being friends with person-to-person, even some whose beliefs are polar opposites of mine. I suppose one could be best friends with someone who doesn't believe exactly like you, as long as there is respect, some common interests, and challenges to go beyond your normal routine. I know some of my posts may not sound very friendly or accepting at times because of strong emotions, but in real life, I'm an amiable and pleasant person, though usually on the periphery of crowds.

The local SDA church is mostly old ladies, with a couple of hard-nosed old men, no one I could ever share my point of view with. It seems a waste of time to go to church just to watch a DVD sermon when I get far more out of my own study time. I compile verses of interest, such as the Day of the Lord topic, then paste them into a text to speech program. I listen to Bible verses while playing spider solitaire, free cell, and regular solitaire on the computer. I don't think I could do that in any church on Sabbath.

Local Sunday churches hold no interest for me, either, so I guess you're all stuck with me. But, you're all good for me because you make me think by considering your points of view, rather than me vegetating or locking myself up into my own prison of thought.

Unrelated thought:

How about someone starting up a syndicated radio program where the wide spectrum of CA member's views can be presented in 2-3 minute segments? I believe that there's some high-quality spiritual thinking here that might benefit listeners out there looking for something better, something to change their lives forever.

[JoeMo]

I identify with SDA's, but I tend to brand myself as non-denominational (sometimes anti-denominational). I do benefit from what I learn from some of the Sunday churches I associate with. People don't need to be believers to earn my respect; however, I have a difficult time having a "best friend" relationship with people who are not spiritual; because spirituality is my top priority; so I don't have much to discuss in depth outside of that realm.