Being Poor and Loving It

[aka]

LIVING POOR AND LOVING IT

By Donna Freedman

 

I don't consider myself deprived, although I can see why some people might think so.

I don't own a laptop computer, television, DVD player, stereo, iPod, video-game system, BlackBerry or many of the other things marketed as necessities.

 

But I have food, shelter, family, friends, a radio, a bus pass, a library card and the chance to attend a respected university. How could I consider myself "poor" when so many people have nothing to eat, nowhere to sleep and no chance to improve their situations?

 

Yet there is another reason I hesitate to call myself poor -- the cultural baggage associated with the word: Poor people are lazy, stupid, immoral, shameless and incapable of making smart decisions. Poor people are losers; our country loves winners. We want poor people to trade their rags for riches. We want them to embody the American dream.

Most of all, we want to believe that poor people are shiftless and depraved and always to blame for their poverty. Otherwise, we'd have to face the possibility that someday we, too, could wind up on the business end of the breadline.

 

I'm not naive enough to think that some people don't make bad choices. But I'm not mean-spirited enough to believe that poor people are poor only because they're pathologically incapable of wealth. Lots of them are where they are because of sickness, unemployment, a lack of education, a dearth of opportunities. More than a few of my relatives are among them. I joked to a cousin that our family has been practicing "how to be poor" all our lives. She agreed. "Poor just is," she said, "and you don't question, 'How?' You just live it."

Scratch that. I'm not broke. I'm poor. I'm redefining the word so that it will lose its power to harm. Being poor is what my dad would call a "useful life skill." (He used this phrase when he wanted us to carry cinder blocks or weed the tomato patch.) And I happen to believe it's a life skill that plenty of Americans could use, saddled as they are with credit card debt, college loan debt and mortgage debt. Being "poor" for a while -- that is, making a conscious choice to manage money differently -- would be good for them.

 

Here, then, are the rules for How to Be Poor:

• Rule 1: Have very little money.
• Rule 2: Live on it.
• Rule 3: Rule 2 will change your life, if you let it.

Being poor means taking a hard look at your needs and getting ruthless about separating them from the wants. (I need food. I want steak.)

It means not behaving as though you still have money because you don't have money -- you have credit cards. Using them to live beyond your means is financial suicide.

 

 

I grew up fairly broke and stayed that way until my early 20s. Marriage and a career kept me comfortably middle class for more than two decades. Now I'm a divorced student and broke again.

 

 

Whether you're in debt because of bad luck or bad choices doesn't matter. What matters is taking charge of your situation. As the old saying goes, when you find yourself in a hole, stop digging. In other words, stop spending. Dinners out, vacations, electronic toys, shopping trips, cable TV, tickets to sporting events -- you simply can't have these things right now.

 

But here's the good part: Once you can afford them again, you may not care if you get them.

 

 

My most important money-management tool hasn't been figuring out how to get more but rather discovering how little I really need and how much I already have. Sure, I look for practical ways to save. The local electric company has a reduced rate for lower-income users. I cook simple meals that cost practically nothing. I shop for loss leaders and use coupons and rebates. About once a month, I go to a food bank. Yard sales, thrift shops and dollar stores supply most other requirements.

 

But how I save money isn't the point. What's important is knowing that I have everything I need and some of what I want. Although I have never been more broke, more tired or more uncertain about the future, I've also never been happier. I'm no Zen master, but I can say that having less makes you that much more grateful for what's in front of you. I've also learned that paring down possessions means a lot more room in your life as well as in your house.

 

I might not have selected this scenario for my life. But now that I have it, I'm going to see what I can learn from it. My hope is that it will make me wiser about what I eventually seek.

 

Here's what I've already learned: Being poor doesn't mean not wanting things; it means wanting the right things for the right reasons. When these clothes wear out, I'll get new ones. In time, I'll want a new computer for my freelance writing work. Several family members are struggling financially, so I'd like to help them. Certainly, I'd love to travel. Someday I'll treat myself one of those small-but-mighty bookshelf sound systems so that music will fill my apartment with momentous impact. And I want to donate to a couple of education foundations so that others can have the same opportunities I'm getting.

 

Those are all nice goals, but I can still be happy if I don't get all (or any) of them. Should I earn a good salary one day, I'll decide which are most important and make them happen. But it won't matter if I don't get a high-paying job because I know how to be poor: You live as well as you can on what you earn and look for ways to improve your life.

 

True prosperity is more than just a healthy bottom line. Being rich wouldn't necessarily make me happy or generous. Those two states of mind have nothing to do with your bank balance.

 

There's a world of difference between poverty and poverty of spirit.

 

Not that being poor makes me noble. It doesn't. It just makes me careful. And grateful.

                

[LifeHiscost]

Now is a good time for me to remember the wisdom of this post. Keep looking up.

 

God is Love! Jesus saves!

[aka]

Herewith I give for the above a disclaimer. I am not the author of the post and not the author of the picture.

 

Nonetheless, the content is so very important to take to heart because it gives a good viewpoint on needed advice for bad days.

 

Besides which, I find the joy in life so contagious in the beautiful woman's "laughing out loud" expression.

[Johann]

Our Sabbath School lesson last Sabbath touched on this area. A good lesson.

[aka]

Johann, I have over the years grown in great respect for you because of reading your posts in other outside Forums. 

 

It's a pleasure for me to see you are also reading and posting here.

 

Could you elaborate a bit more on what was said in your SS class last Sabbath?

 

This matter of poverty is also a tough reality for many of Americans even though they are active Christians.

[aka]

 

Here's what Ernest Gardner has to say:

From a Poverty Scholar perspective, I am not naive enough to think that some people don't make bad choices. But I'm not mean-spirited enough to believe that poor people are poor only because they're pathologically incapable of wealth. Lots of them are where they are because of sickness, a lack of education, unemployment, a dearth of opportunities. More than a few of my relatives are among them. I don't consider myself deprived, although I can see why some people might think so. I have very little money. I live on it. If you live on it, it will change and transform your life. Being poor to me personally means taking a hard look at your needs and getting ruthless about separating them from your wants. But I have food, shelter, family, friends, a radio, tv, a muni bus pass{no auto}, a library card, a Toshiba laptop computer and a cell phone. I do not own a DVD player, a smart phone, iPod, video-game system, BlackBerry or many of the other things marketed as necessites. How could I consider myself 'poor' when so many people have nothing to eat, nowhere to sleep and no chance to improve their situations?

Yet there is another reason I hesitate to call myself poor. The cultural baggage associated with the word: Poor people are lazy, stupid, shameless, immoral and incapable of making smart decisions. Poor people are losers, our country loves winners. We want poor people to trade their rags for riches. We want them to embody the American dream. Most of all, we want to believe that poor people are shiftless and depraved and always to blame for their poverty. Otherwise, we'd have to face the possibilty that someday we, too, could wind up on the business end of the bread line. Being 'poor' means NOT behaving as though you still have money because you don't have money--you have credit cards and bills. Using them to live beyond your means is financial suicide.

[aka]

Here's what Akosua has to say:

I have made the decision today to stop calling myself poor, broke, or poverty stricken. I will re-define myself as partially liberated. I am partially liberated because I am almost complelty free from being dependent on money and the idea of the American dream of riches and expenses!

I had a conversation a few weeks ago with a friend of mine from college. He was curious about my current lifestyle. He asked about my happiness, and the financial contributions of my King (life-partner). He was aware that I worked a part-time job, had a drivers license but no car, used public transit to get to and from work, I am not able afford extracurricular activities like concerts, movies, traveling, resturants, sporting events, etc... on my part-time wages alone, and that my PT position was just enough to allow me to pay my rent and bills.

I can understand how he could believe I was poor and unhappy! It didn't help that when I became frustrated when things didn't go exactly as me and and my King planned I complained about my situation and at times felt stuck. I guess he didn't realize that although he as well as I have a BS degree from the same college, he is a professional in the field of media and journalism, he rents a luxury apt in the Midwest, he drives a new model car, and he is current on his college loan payments he complains just as much if not more than me. Sometimes he compares his situations to mine as more complicated. I can't say I disagree with him. So again I guess that does make me partially liberated!

My friend fails to consider that although I work part-time I also run a small business from home, I have saved funds in an account I have not touched for over 10-years, My King and I own serveal pieces of property that are worth almost 100% more then what we paid for them. I have a large network or friends, and future & current business partners. I used my college experience in order to gain access to International connections, where I traveled to Holland, and Ghana West Africa. Also that we plan to live over seas so a car is not really considered a good investment right now! Although I am aware that currently my people use US currency to maintain their daily needs I have been preparing myself to live without $ and to use the African Tradition of bartering, land survival & protection, and Nation Building!

[aka]

Proverbs 28:3
A poor man that oppresses the poor is like a sweeping rain which leaves no food.

 

Proverbs 22:22
Rob not the poor, because he is poor: neither oppress the afflicted in the gate:

 

Proverbs 19:1
Better is the poor that walks in his integrity, than he that is perverse in his lips, and is a fool.

 

Mark 14:7
For you have the poor with you always, and whenever you will you may do them good: but me you have not always.

 

Ecclesiastes 5:8
If you see the oppression of the poor, and violent perverting of judgment and justice in a province, marvel not at the matter: for he that is higher than the highest regards; and there be higher than they.

 

Matthew 5:3
Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

 

 

 

Luke 16:13 "No servant can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money."

 

Mat 6:19-21  "Do not save riches for yourselves here on earth, where moths and rust destroy, and robbers break in and steal. Instead, save riches for yourselves in heaven, where moths and rust cannot destroy, and robbers cannot break in and steal. For your heart will always be where your riches are."

 

Heb 13:5  "Keep your life free from the love of money, and be content with what you have."

 

Ps 37:7,16  Rest in the Lord and wait patiently for Him; Do not fret because of him who prospers in his way... Better is the little of the righteous than the abundance of many wicked.

 

Prov 23:4-5  Do not wear yourself out to get rich; have the wisdom to show restraint. Cast but a glance at riches, and they are gone, for they will surely sprout wings and fly off to the sky like an eagle.

 

1 Sam 2:7  The Lord sends poverty and wealth; he humbles and he exalts.

 

Prov 30:8-9 ...Give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread. Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you and say, "Who is the Lord?" Or I may become poor and steal, and so dishonor the name of my God.