Hows Santa Knows IF you've Been Good

[Neil D]

Sung to the tune of...

"Santa Claus is Coming to Town"

You better watch out,

You better not cry,

You better not pout,

I'm telling you why,

Santa Claus is tapping,

Your phone.

He's buggin your room,

He's reding your mail,

He's keeping a file

And runnin a tail

Santa Claus is tapping

Your phone

He hears you in the bedroom

Surveills you out of doors

And if that doesn't get the goods

Then he'll use provocateurs.

So you mustn't assume

That you are secure

On Christmas Eve

He'll kick in your door

Santa Claus is tapping

Your phone

(Supposedly written for and sung at a U.S. Department of Justice, Office of Legal Counsel, Christmas party during the Carter Administration.) --Eugene Volokh, UCLA Law