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Xmas humor


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My friend, Rick, is a paramedic here in Miami. A few years ago he answered a call about a man who had a head injury he sustained when some teenagers were throwing eggs at cars. It seems that the egg had come through the open window of the man's car as he was driving at about 45 mph. He had a large swelling on his forehead. In the official report, Rick described the incident as an "egg-noggin".

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Just before Christmas, there was an honest politician, a kind lawyer and Santa Claus travelling in a lift of a very posh hotel. Just before the doors opened they all noticed a £5 note lying on the floor. Which one picked it up??

Santa of course, the other two don't exist!

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Santa Claus, like all pilots, gets regular visits from the Federal Aviation Administration, and it was shortly before Christmas when the FAA examiner arrived.

In preparation, Santa had the elves wash the sled and bathe all the reindeer. Santa got his logbook out and made sure all his paperwork was in order.

The examiner walked slowly around the sled. He checked the reindeer harnesses, the landing gear, and Rudolf's nose. He painstakingly reviewed Santa's weight and balance calculations for the sled's enormous payload.

Finally, they were ready for the checkride. Santa got in,fastened his seatbelt and shoulder harness, and checked the compass. Then the examiner hopped in carrying, to Santa's surprise, a shotgun.

"What's that for?" asked Santa incredulously.

The examiner winked and said, "I'm not supposed to tell you this, but you're gonna lose an engine on takeoff."

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Democracy is a device that ensures we shall be governed no better than we deserve.

 

George Bernard Shaw

 

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