Being fully accepted as a gay at Ashland Baptist

[Sojourner]

This is a really interesting article that I came across re  response to a gay male who wrote to the Senior Minister at Ashland Baptist and asked if he would be accepted there as a gay man. I would like to put it up for critical review by the group here. 

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“Will I be fully accepted at your church as a gay man?”

Below is my response to an email I received that asked the following question: “I believe church should be for all of God’s children. No exceptions. I am a gay man. My question is, would I be fully accepted with no judgment and fully welcome and able to serve at Ashland Avenue Baptist Church?”

I have changed all of the identifying information, but other than that, my response is in full below. I hope that it will be helpful to others facing similar questions.   

Dear D,

Welcome home to the beautiful Bluegrass. It is great to hear from you and to hear of your previous connection with Ashland. What a ministry this church has had for almost 100 years.

As to your question, it depends on what you mean by “I am a gay man” and what you mean by “accepted completely with no judgment and fully welcome and able to serve at Ashland Avenue?”

If by “I am a gay man” you mean that you struggle with same-sex attraction, recognizing any sexual activity outside of a covenant marriage between a man and a woman is sinful and that you desire Christian discipleship to walk in line with the Gospel as you struggle with this temptation, then we would rejoice at your honesty and openness and receive you gladly at Ashland. We have faithful and accountable members right now in that very situation and attempting to live celibate lives to the glory of Christ.

Of course, this is really no different than a man who struggles with heterosexual sexually immoral desires or any of the myriads of sinful desires we all struggle with as disciples of Christ. Sin is an equal opportunity offender and something that every Christian struggles with in unique ways.

If by “I am a gay man” you mean that you embrace a lifestyle of homosexual activity and you refuse recognize it as sin no matter what the Scripture says and you are looking for a church that will affirm homosexual activity and/or same-sex marriage that would be a different matter entirely. But there is no uniqueness to homosexual sin in regard to this approach. The same would be true if a man came to us and said “I am a ‘name the sin’ man” and by that he meant he planned to keep on sinning in that way and embracing it as a lifestyle no matter what the Scripture says. There is a world of difference between struggling with a sin and embracing a sin. God saves us where we are, but loves us too much too leave us where we are. He is at work conforming his people into the image of Christ.

As far as whether or not you would “be accepted completely with no judgment and fully welcome and able to serve at Ashland Avenue” that would depend on what you mean as well. We welcome all to attend our public worship services. Consider this your invitation to worship with us. We would love to have you in attendance. If you mean that you desire help in an accountable community of faith to struggle against sin then I would say that we are a community of believers whose hope is in the finished work of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of our sins—not our goodness. We are all struggling sinners attempting to follow our Lord and Savior and encouraging one another to do so.

On the other hand, if you mean that you want a church where any behavior you participate in will be affirmed and accepted in the membership of the church then the answer would be “no.” I do not think you would want to be a part of a congregation would tolerate any behavior or action among its members.

We are all broken in our sin and are in great need of acceptance by God through the atoning work of Jesus Christ. We are all guilty sinners who have rebelled against a holy God and who desperately need to respond to Christ in repentant faith. It is the awareness of our sin that reveals our need for redemption in Christ. Self-acceptance must not replace repentance and the liberating love of Christ that delivers us from bondage to our sins. Faith, sin and repentance are Christ-directed. Self-justification is man-directed and fashions God as a sort of divine therapist who helps us to accept ourselves.

You are right that God’s gospel is about his “love, acceptance, non-judging, and forgiveness for all” but such is the fruit of believers who trust God and agree with God about their sin in repentant faith. The comfortable and convenient thing would be to do away with the notion of sin altogether but such an approach would abandon the biblical gospel and would not be a demonstration of Christian love.

The apostle Paul told the church at Corinth,

Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God (1 Cor. 6:9-11).

Paul paints a beautiful picture of love, acceptance, and forgiveness for those who come to Christ in faith and repentance of sin. If we lose Paul’s grammar, we lose his gospel. If we shift his words to the present tense and say, “And such are some of you,” we are left with no one washed, no one sanctified, and no one justified.

I hope this response provides you respectful and direct answers to your honest questions. I struggle with my own sins so I could easily remove “homosexuality” from this letter and put my sins in those spaces and apply this letter to myself. The good news is that I do not have to be defined by my sins and neither do you. We can be forgiven of our sins and have our identity rooted in Christ and his grace.

I am thankful for the dialogue and your interest in my thoughts. I hope to see you soon at Ashland. 

Blessings in Christ,  

David E. Prince       

 

[B/W Photodude]

 

The good news is that I do not have to be defined by my sins and neither do you.

 

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IMHO, a very well written response. Would we all very carefully consider it.

I really like the quoted sentence. We do not have to be defined by what we struggle with. We can be sons and daughters of God today! The only definition we need.

Satan will continue to attempt to define us by our sins and some even chose to be defined by them.

[JoeMo]

A VERY well-balanced letter showing love and concern for a struggling brother, yet true to God's principles.  I especially liked the first few paragraphs asking what D meant by "I am a gay man" and "be accepted completely".  I can think of several people here who would be blessed to read that letter - people on both sides of the discussion.

[Lauralea]

Yes I agree this is a well thought out response. I do have one point of difference- he says it is no different than a heterosexual who struggles with these feelings, but there is a difference because the heterosexual struggles with not expressing desires outside of marriage but the homosexual has desires which unless transformed by God can not be expressed in a heterosexual marriage. Other than that, his response was right on IMO.

[8thdaypriest]

Human beings who violate the TRUST of the community (by lying, stealing, kidnapping, sexual assault, murder, sexual sin, etc) are usually REMOVED from the community.  The community feels they CANNOT TRUST the sinner, not to repeat the hurtful behavior.   Sometimes the sinner is jailed (or worse -executed).  More often the sinner is simply shunned. 

The problem I see, is that of trust. 

The sinner wants to be forgiven, AND to be restored to fellowship (as an equal) within the community of believers.   But he/she is shunned.   Which is WHY your Father taught you that REPUTATION is very important. 

How to resolve the problem? 

When we all get to the New Jerusalem, in the Father's House, we won't FEAR the sinner, BECAUSE we believe the LORD will have delivered ONLY THOSE who will not repeat the hurtful behaviors. 

So - the problem only exists NOW - in this present world. 

Paul said that we are to separate ourselves from immoral people.  But that does nothing for the reformed sinner, who simply wants to come back to fellowship. 

How to trust again ???? 

First:  It will take time.  Second:  Restoring relationships, where there has been injury, takes more time than initiating a relationship. 

Third:  I think it is good, if the sinner shares with a few very trustworthy others, his vulnerability.  The others can help him to avoid those situations where he would be more vulnerable.  There are special communities of faith and support, which were created expressly FOR those who cannot yet be trusted in the general community. 

Fourth:  In the case of child sexual predation by an adult, I do not believe that restoration to the community IS possible.  The risk is too high.   I am in favor of very long sentences for such crimes. 

 

 

 

[Gregory Matthews]

 In the case of child sexual predation by an adult, I do not believe that restoration to the community IS possible.  The risk is too high.

On target.

Forgiveness does not relieve a person of the consequences of their actions.  We should not put temptati0on in the way of a person who is tempted by it.  IOW, a Church Treasurer who has stolen congregational money may be forgive,  but, that person should never again be a church  Treasurer.

One who has molested children should not be places in a situation where that person is working with children.

Forgiveness does not mean that we do not prosecute.

 

 

 

 

[LifeHiscost]

This seems to me to be he best place to put this. I'll accept whatever an individual might feel, for themselves, but it appears to be biblically sound.

http://tinyurl.com/o8auql7

God is Love!  Jesus saves!