Yet another award winning satire, well done.

[Stan]

 

Haystacks, the Adventist staple

WASHINGTON DC — In an historic Supreme Court ruling announced today, the General Conference of Seventh-day Adventists has been awarded exclusive copyright of the term “haystacks.” The decision marks the culmination of two decades of legal battles between the Adventist church and various farming associations who have attempted to block the denomination’s copyright efforts.

“Today we celebrate the end of a very long journey undertaken a generation ago to safeguard the good name of an Adventist staple food,” said General Conference Health and Temperance Director Max Molehill. “There are a few things that Adventists will do anything to protect. Haystacks rank high on the list.”

The Supreme Court ruling makes clear that while the farming industry may refer to a “singular, large stack of hay as a ‘haystack,’ any use of the plural ‘haystacks’ is now the exclusive domain of the Seventh-day Adventist Church.”

Despite awarding the copyright to the Adventist Church, the Supreme Court justices released a unanimous statement clarifying that the ruling should in no way be seen as an endorsement of “the appropriateness of the term ‘haystacks’ for the dish known as ‘taco salad’ to the rest of America.” 

The justices added in the statement that they would refuse to entertain any other attempts by the church to copyright other Adventist jargon, “So don’t take on Napa Valley next by trying to define wine as non-fermented grape juice.”

[rudywoofs (Pam)]

my mom thought this edition was hysterical!!  

[Gregory Matthews]

This decision will still allow the Church to litigate its use of the word "Whine" as the proposed name for an non-alcoholic grape drink.

 

NOTE:  For those who do not know.  Our fake ham was called Wham.

 

Edited June 11, 2015 by Gregory Matthews