The phases of being human

[Gail]

What are some of the phases you have gone through in your life?

Were you a hippie? Did you go to college? Were you a vegetarian?

[rudywoofs (Pam)]

good kid

depressed kid

college scholar

After college, a "split"... Part was a dedicated, loyal, intense employee at whatever my job was, which continues to this day. The other part was my mental health horror years, which I wouldn't wish on anyone.

Then my witchy phase.

Then my brief "over-the-top" religious phase where I was a totally obnoxious zealot who had to tell everyone how they ought to behave as a Christian.

Segueing towards the present:  my current phase (and I can't see it changing) is my "Jimmy Cracked Corn, and I Don't Care" independent and happy phase, where nobody is going to walk all over me, nobody is going to hurt me, and nobody will make me be or do what I do not choose to be or do.  

[JoeMo]

I was raised a "good" catholic boy - said my rosary weekly, was an altar boy and a reader, even seriously considered the priesthood.  The I discovered girls ... then I became a new-age hippie and participated in all the associated activities.  Then I discovered Jesus - for a while. Then it was back to being a hippie - drugs, sex, and rock 'n roll.

I always kept priorities straight - I graduated with honors from one of the best engineering schools in the country; but I didn't give up my bohemian lifestyle.  That lifestyle destroyed my first marriage.

I found myself in an SDA church choir and praise band.  As time went on, I became a "Taliban Adventist" - super legalistic and judgmental.  I remarried a wonderful woman whom I allowed to "fix" me.  We had 5 children from previous marriages and two of our own.  Although it seemed really chaotic at the time, I look back; and wouldn't trade those days for anything.

Over the years, I have mellowed; and become a "generic" SDA and a closet charismatic.  I have learned that my moral code is not the moral code for everyone - that God has an agenda for me that is different than it is for everyone else - because I struggle with different things.  I have learned to never tell others they are wrong - some of the things that I considered "permissible" 10 years ago are no longer permissible - and vice-versa.  I have learned that the most disagreeable thing that I should tell someone is that I don't believe as they do rather than that they are wrong and I am right.  I have learned through CA that people have different issues and different ideas; and that as a group, SDA's are the people I want to be associated with.  I have learned to be my true self in front of everyone - quirky as that may be - rather than try to be whom I think people want me to be.  It makes life so much easier!

[8thdaypriest]

Trying to figure it out phase.  (I don't think this one has ended.  I've always been this way.)

Terribly hurt phase.  (picked as the one to bully at an SDA church school)

Depressed and isolated phase.

Looking for love phase. (in all the wrong places)

Don't give a damn phase.  (hated or distrusted just about everyone)

Wow! - I'm loved phase.  (Met Jesus.)

Legalistic phase  (preaching perfection)

Tired phase (realized I couldn't BE perfect)

Found relief phase.  (turned it over to Jesus)  (I'm still there.)

At age 11 (seventh grade) I was terribly wounded by a bunch of kids that I really wanted to be friends with.  I was trapped in an SDA small church school, because the doctor my Mom worked for, was paying my way.  Dad was drinking (heavily) and sleeping with whores.  Mom had a nervous breakdown and took an overdose.  Ended up in hospital for awhile.  Well - kids have radar for other kids who are vulnerable.  They bullied me mercilessly.  After that I would never be the same again.  After that I shut myself off - emotionally - from others.  My poor first husband finally realized that I could not love him either.  I was a loner - really until I met my husband.  And less than a year after I married Klaus, I met Jesus. 

What I have come to realize is that, when we are really wounded, we will keep trying to protect our selves from further wounding, and we will try to heal the wounds.  We unconsciously "set up" circumstances that match those in which we were wounded.  Then we try different ways to heal the wound.  Usually the ways we try, don't help at all.  They may even deepen the wound.  The only real healing comes from Jesus.  He is the healer.  

How many people do you know, who keep repeating the SAME mistakes over and over and over.  They don't seem to learn anything.  It's because they are trying to heal the old wounds.  Unconsciously - they think that they can "do it better this time". 

When my eyes were finally "opened" to understand what I had been doing,  it was a complete RELEASE.  I could stop feeling guilty for all the stupid ways in which I had tried to protect myself, or heal myself.  And I could STOP trying to heal myself.  I turned it over - to Jesus. 

 

[8thdaypriest]

STAGES

Here's a link to a teaching on my website titled "Kholberg's Stages of Moral Development".  Some may find it very enlightening.

http://www.prophecyviewpoint.com/htdocs/37-Kholberg.pdf