Moishe the Talking Dog

[phkrause]

A guy walks into a bar with his golden retriever. He tells the bartender, “I got a Jewish dog named Moishe. He’s so smart he actually talks. Can I get a drink on the house if my dog talks for you?''

''Dogs can't talk, pal,” replied the bartender, “but if you can prove to me yours does, I'll give you a drink. If not, well, let’s just say you don’t wanna find out.''

''Okay,'' says the guy. He turns to his dog. ''Okay, Moishe. Tell me -- what is on top of a house?''

''Roof!'' The man turns and smiles at the bartender.

''THAT ain't talking! Any dog can bark!''

''Okay, Moishe. Tell me -- how does sandpaper feel?''

''Ruff!"

''What the heck you tryin' to pull, mister?'' said the bartender.

''Okay, okay," says the man. "One more question. Okay, Moishe, tell me -- who is the greatest ball player who ever lived?''

"Ruth."

The bartender had enough and picked up the guy and his dog and threw them onto the sidewalk outside of the bar.

Moishe stands up and looks at his owner. "Wow. Maybe I shoulda said DiMaggio?"