GC Allows Ben Carson to Drink Coffee

[Gregory Matthews]

See:

http://barelyadventist.com/adventist-church-exempts-sleepy-ben-carson-from-caffeine-ban/

 

[Stan]

Post infull

 

Adventist Church exempts sleepy Ben Carson from caffeine ban

Posted on November 11, 2015 by sevvy

Ben Carson needs a nap too…

SILVER SPRING, Md. — In an absolute first for the Adventist Church, world leaders have come to a majority decision to allow a caffeine ban exemption for the denomination’s most fatigued member: retired pediatric neurosurgeon and front runner Republican candidate for president, Dr. Ben Carson.

“We would never do this under normal circumstances,” said GC Temperance Department spokesperson, Koff Seerep, “but we have decided that as leaders of the Seventh-day Adventist Church, we are at times called to a life of compassion. Dr. Carson has almost fallen asleep in interviews, debates and even speeches during this election season. We are giving him a pass on the whole coffee ban thing.”

Adventist leaders have been careful to stress that their exemption is not to be abused by the candidate. “This is not free license for Dr. Carson to start chugging Red Bulls or become the new face of 5-hour ENERGY commercials. His ties to Mannatech have been damaging enough,” said Seerep.

 

[Aliensanctuary]

The church could make some real money by selling exemptions for transgressions. If members are going to sin anyway, why not cash in on it, make them feel better, and support mission work or SDA presidential candidates. Other money-making ventures might include SDA brands of coffee, energy drinks, candy bars, e-cigarettes, cell-phone networks, car, health, and life insurance, and 1844 home decor and clothing lines, etc.

Just have to keep the crazies like Martin Luther away from the GC.

[Ron Lambert]

Why doesn't he just take caffeine pills? Then he can control exactly how much caffeine he is getting.

Aliensanctuary, sin is violation of the law. Which commandment says "Thou shalt not drink coffee"? Let's not make the helpful guidence of the Lord in matters of temperance into legalism.

[Gerr]

Are those pictures of Ben the before and after caffeine?

[Outta Here]

I cannot begin to imagine the magnitude of the day-to-day criticism Dr Carson faces as an Adventist and now a candidate for presidency. 

[phkrause]

And especially from very "pious" Adventists!!

[Kevin H]

One late night comedian said "One presidential candidate who we can joke about is Ben Carson, because we know he does not stay up this late and thus can't hear us"

[Jeannieb43]

Does everybody realize that OP article is SATIRE?!

 

 

[Outta Here]

Yep, I understood it. Still hold the same thought in my head, "I cannot begin to imagine the magnitude of the day-to-day criticism Dr Carson faces as an Adventist and now a candidate for presidency."

[aka]

Why are we all asuming Ben's goal is to be USA President?

Could not his whole presidential campaign be nothing more than a smokescreen for another goal he is aiming for to satisfy a certain personal need?

Surely he is sober enough to asess himself as not being a potential 'winner' for Presidency.

There's something in the bushes we are not aware of perhaps.