Bumper Stickers

[Neil D]

BAD COP! - NO DONUT!!!

Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.

Stop repeat offenders. Don't re-elect them!

I don't question your existence - GOD

Next time you think you're perfect...

...try walking on water

Lord help me to be the person my dog thinks I am.

Come the rapture can I have your car?

It's okay, I didn't believe in reincarnation the last time, either.

If God didn't want us to eat animals why did he make them out of meat?

Jesus. Don't leave earth without him.

Eve was framed.

Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

I intend to live forever - so far, so good.

Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?

Kids in the back seat cause accidents. Accidents in the back seat cause kids.

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

[:"red"] Ladies Bumper Stickers [/]

1. SO MANY MEN, SO FEW WHO CAN AFFORD ME.

2. GOD MADE US SISTERS, PROZAC MADE US FRIENDS.

3. IF THEY DON'T HAVE CHOCOLATE IN HEAVEN, I AIN'T GOING.

4. MY MOTHER IS A TRAVEL AGENT FOR GUILT TRIPS.

5. PRINCESS, HAVING HAD SUFFICIENT EXPERIENCE WITH PRINCES, SEEKS FROG.

6. COFFEE, CHOCOLATE, MEN ... SOME THINGS ARE JUST BETTER RICH.

7. DON'T TREAT ME ANY DIFFERENTLY THAN YOU WOULD THE QUEEN.

8. IF YOU WANT BREAKFAST IN BED, SLEEP IN THE KITCHEN.

9. DINNER IS READY WHEN THE SMOKE ALARM GOES OFF.

10. I'M OUT OF ESTROGEN - AND I HAVE A GUN.

11. GUYS HAVE FEELINGS TOO. BUT LIKE...WHO CARES?

12. NEXT MOOD SWING: 6 MINUTES.

13. AND YOUR POINT IS?

14. WARNING: I HAVE AN ATTITUDE AND I KNOW HOW TO USE IT.

15. OF COURSE I DON'T LOOK BUSY...I DID IT RIGHT THE FIRST TIME.

16. DO NOT START WITH ME. YOU WILL NOT WIN.

17. YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT, SO PLEASE SHUT UP.

18. ALL STRESSED OUT AND NO ONE TO CHOKE.

19. I'M ONE OF THOSE BAD THINGS THAT HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE.

20. HOW CAN I MISS YOU IF YOU WON'T GO AWAY?

21. SORRY IF I LOOKED INTERESTED. I'M NOT.

22. IF WE ARE WHAT WE EAT, I'M FAST, CHEAP AND EASY.

23. DON'T UPSET ME! I'M RUNNING OUT OF PLACES TO HIDE THE BODIES.

24. I have PMS and a handgun, any questions?

[:"red"] Other Bumper Sticker Humor [/]

If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer.

The Earth Is Full -- Go Home

This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't Happening to Me

Cleverly Disguised as a Responsible Adult

The Face Is Familiar But I Can't Quite Remember My Name

Illiterate? Write For Help

Honk If Anything Falls Off

He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost But Miles From the Next Exit

Where Are We Going and Why Am I In This Handbasket?

It's Been Lovely But I Have To Scream Now

I Haven't Lost My Mind, It's Backed Up On Disk Somewhere

Remember Folks: Stop Lights Timed For 35mph Are Also Timed for 70mph.

Boldly Going Nowhere

Heart Attacks... God's Revenge for Eating His Animal Friends

How Many Roads Must a Man Travel Down Before He Admits He Is Lost?