You might be a "high tech redneck" if....

[Neil D]

- your email address ends in "over.yonder.com"

- you connect to the WWW via "Down Home Page"

- your bumper sticker says "My other computer is a laptop"

- your laptop has a sticker that says "Protected by Smith & Wesson"

- you've ever doubled the value of your truck by installing a cell phone

- your baseball cap reads "DEC" instead of "CAT"

- your computer is worth more than all your cars combined

- your wife said "either I go or the computer goes"...and you still don't miss her

- you've ever used a CD-ROM as a coaster for your beer

- you refer to your computer as "that good ol' gal"

- your screen saver is an image of your favorite truck, tractor, or farm animal

- you start all your emails with "Howdy, y'all"

- your spell-checker knows words like "Reckon", "Yonder", and "Y'all"

- your cars sit in the yard because your garage is full of dead CPU's

- your belt buckle is made from a dead 3.5" hard drive

- your computer beep is (insert farm animal sound here)

- your active newsgroup list includes alt.animal.husbandry

- hay has been found inside your laptop carrying case

- you have caught yourself coaxing a slow speed machine with cluck sounds, kiss sounds or giddyup

- your netscape bookmark list includes EquiVet, net-vet or the OSU agriculture page

[:"green"] You Might Be A Redneck Jedi If...[/]

Sandpeople back down from your mama.

You've ever used Jedi mind control to talk your way out of a speeding ticket or DUI.

You've ever strangled someone with the force because they laughed at your accent.

You have bantha horns on the front of your landspeeder.

You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok... without using the word "chicken".

You can find no grammatical errors in the way Yoda talks.

You think that Stormtroopers are just KKK members with really good sheets.

A peaceful meditation session is one without gas.

Your Jedi robe is a camouflage color.

You have ever used your lightsaber to open a bottle of Jack Daniel's.

You think the best use of your lightsaber is picking your teeth.

At least one wing of your X-Wing is Bondo colored.

There is a blaster rack in the back of your landspeeder.

Your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son come on over t' the dark side.. .it'll be a hoot."

You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock thingy to get the bar-b-q grill to light.

The moonshine still you built on Endor is hidden so well even the Ewoks can't find it.

You can levitate yourself using a force from within, but not THE force.

You have ever had an X-wing up on blocks in your yard.

You ever lost a hand during a light-saber fight because you had to spit.

The worst part of spending time on Dagobah is the dadgum skeeters.

Wookies are offended by your B.O.

You have ever used the force to get yourself another beer so you didn't have to wait for a commercial.

You don't think the Ewoks are primitive.

You think an AT-AT looks like a giant cow.