President Bush Forms a New Cabinet Office

[Gregory Matthews]

I have abridged, and otherwise edited the following article which was published in THE ONION, a satirical weekly published in Boulder, Colorado.

In a televised speach, President Bush aannounced a new Cabinet-level position. This position will coordinate the affaairs of a new Department of Corruption, Bribery, and Incompetence. The Secretary will be called the Sacandal Secretary.

As President Bush said in his speach, "Scandals are crucial to the success of my priorities for the nation. The Department fo Corruption will safeguard these important misdeeds."

The Department of Corruption, Bribery, and Incompetance will be funded by an illegal slush fund. The Scandal Secretary will appoint a person who will assume all responsibility for each scandal.

Conseratives have crilticized this new department as an increase in Big Governmnet. Thy point out that "Teapot Dome" did quite well without governmentr oversight. Those officials recieved kickbacks and more wihtout anyone else knowing about it.

Those who defend this new Cabinet position suggest that in the complex society of today scandals need someone to steer them through to their end goal.

NOTE: This is a brief abridgement of a longer article. Refer to the full articl in THE ONION, if you desire.

THE ONION, Vol. 43, Issue # 05, February 2 - 8, 2006