How resilient are you?

[Gail]

How well do you take mistreatment? Are you a quick bounce-backer?

We often expect children to be just this way- resilient. And they are! But how does that change as we get older?

And.. what helps?

[Aliensanctuary]

Jesus did say to turn the other cheek, which is important for members of the Kingdom. Here on Earth, some will take advantage of those who don't confront them for mistreating them. If one chooses not to confront those who mistreat them, they must either suffer in silence and resentment, or leave.

Like my brother-in-law whose dogs were gods who could do no wrong, the same dogs who maimed and killed our pets and bit their guests, including myself. Back then I was intimidated by his bullying, but now I would have no problem giving him a piece of my mind for what he did to my family. I might even threaten to do more than just talk, but mainly out of concern that his dogs might seriously injure an unsuspecting child or kill someone else's pets.

His dogs are dead, now, but some of my adult children bristle whenever he or his family brag about how good their dogs were. 

It's probably really important to confront those who are mistreating us, not in anger, but by using persuasion. Anger and resentment are bad for our spirits and should be avoided because they take away our peace.

[Outta Here]

I've never been one to believe that children are resilient. To me, resiliency means being able to "bounce back"  and carry on, no worse from the wear. I think children are malleable, pliable--they don't "bounce", they are shaped and molded. Once they break, they may be lucky enough to heal, but the scars are still there (seen and unseen). As with anything pliable, given enough time, they will harden and callous. It's my opinion that as adults were are not "less resilient" but rather less malleable and more hardened to the circumstances we are dealt. Experience made us durable and rigid.

What helps? We've learned to duck!

[CoAspen]

Sometimes, more often than not, I feel we should become more like children. Becoming more rigid can keep us from a lot of enjoyment.

[JoeMo]

I think it depends of what a person is being resilient to.  For example, children recover from injuries and sickness much better than adults.  I also think that - in general - they recover from a change in environments (like moving to a new house or new city) easier than an older person.  On the other hand, once children understand what death is, they tend to grieve harder and longer than most grown-ups.  The same can be said for divorce - from my personal experience, it sometimes takes a lifetime for a child to recover.

I think sometimes children appear more resilient because they don't know how to (or aren't given a chance to) express their raw emotions over adverse circumstances; so they withdraw and hold in their hurt as a form of self-protection.  We as grown-ups interpret that behavior as "dealing with it" rather than "internalizing" it.

[Gail]

3 hours ago, CoAspen said:

Sometimes, more often than not, I feel we should become more like children. Becoming more rigid can keep us from a lot of enjoyment.

You know, if you live long enough to get really old, you WILL become like a little child!

[Outta Here]

The diapers are bigger and cost more.

[phkrause]

2 hours ago, Aubrey said:

The diapers are bigger and cost more.

[LynnDel]

Some people are born more resilient than others. Life experiences can make a person more brittle, or more resilient, depending on the person's attitude. I think that anyone who develops an attitude of thankfulness -- that all-important gratitude -- is guaranteed to be more resilient than a person who does not have an over-arching feeling of gratitude for everything in their life.

[JoeMo]

On ‎5‎/‎21‎/‎2016 at 10:49 PM, LynnDel said:

Some people are born more resilient than others.

So true, LynnDel!  Some people seem to have a "gift" for letting go of offenses and traumatic experiences; while others have a real problem with letting go.  I don't know if resilience is something some people are born with - like a spiritual gift - or if it's something that we all must learn.  Either way, like any skill, it must be practiced.

Please give my regards to Woody.  We miss his presence here.

[LifeHiscost]

On 5/20/2016 at 2:53 PM, Gail said:

You know, if you live long enough to get really old, you WILL become like a little child!

or maybe not.

 

Me and my wife laugh alot about the reality of that. . Depends alot upon one's health.

 

God is Love!~Jesus saves! 

[LadyRachelLynn]

We use the term bounce back, but I don't think we ever really do bounce back to where we were. I think we bounce off and we hope to land on our feet.  

I think I am resilient, but it's not something I recognize day to day.  I have lived so much of life in my 38 years that I am finally starting to let what others think roll off my back, after I get angry, or hurt, and look to see if they are right or wrong about it.  

Through my years I have lost loved ones due to illness, divorce, rumors, and choice.  I don't know what works best for me, as each time I have had a problem I have found that the methods I used before don't work or don't apply.  Each time the only key element is G-d, and prayer.

I have found that while children are resilient, it isn't something that we should take for granted.  My own kids are trying to find a way to "bounce off" first from domestic violence, and now being kids in a divorced home.  Some have landed on their feet better than others.  I thought the younger two had landed better, but it seems as though perhaps one of them is still struggling to be on her feet, and often times is landing on her head.  Its giving me a whole new battle to fight and a whole reality to face.  How do I help her learn to get to her new place safely and securely?  Right now I don't know, but we are doing what we can.  And just while I think we have a handle on one of the kids landing strips, another one skids out of wack.  Its a barrel of monkeys sometimes here.

[LifeHiscost]

6 minutes ago, LadyRachelLynn said:

 Each time the only key element is G-d, and prayer.

 

…8Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is perfected in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly in my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest on me. 10That is why, for the sake of Christ, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.…2 Corinthians 12

Sounds beyond reason, however Jesus has proven Himself over and over. And often the prayers that suffice are those prayers of others, especially as I recognize personally the severe trauma of divorce. Welcome to to the Club Adventist part of the body of Christ.

God is Love!~Jesus saves!

 

 

[Martn]

I'm a turtle, with hardening shell, and if it weren't for the daredevil side to my nature I'd probably become a total recluse.