Clinical Ethics--Baptize My Child

[Gregory Matthews]

It was a  Sunday morning, and I was not working, as I answered my ringing telephone.  A civilian hospital where I provided some chaplain services had an emergency.  Ms. X, an unwed mother, with other children had   given birth.  On the basis that she felt unable to provide needed care for an additional child, she had agreed to an adoption. The adoptive family was sitting in one room in the hospital.  They were Roman Catholic.  Ms. X was in another room.  She had just informed the Social Worker that she would not hand the baby over to the adoptive parents until the child could be baptized into a Protestant faith.   NOTE:  It was required that she physically hand the baby over to the couple.

The Social worker wanted to know if I would baptize the child.  What would you do?  What should I have done?

NOTE:  I informed the SW that I would immediately come to the hospital and I would meet with both Ms. X and with the adoptive parents and we would take it from there.

NOTE:  This section is not for discussions of religion, doctrine and theology.  Respond, please from the ethical aspects of this issue and not about Catholics vs. Protestants.

[Outta Here]

I would not baptize the infant. 

[Gregory Matthews]

O.K  But, from the positive perspective, what could be done to resolve the situation that you could do?  Or, is there nothing positive that can be done.  People are people and often fixed in their position.  We even see that here in CA. 

 

[Unchained]

"felt unable to provide needed care for an additional child," ... "had agreed to an adoption" ... "would not hand the baby over"...

It sounds as if this woman was deeply troubled about having to give up her child for adoption. She didn't want to give her baby away, but she felt that she had no other choice and was deeply conflicted over this.

She was most likely looking for an excuse to keep the child, or possibly a way to ease a troubled conscience.

Either way, what a poor soul, I would have cried my eyes out if I had to deal with such a situation.

 

[Unchained]

The bottom line is that she was clearly not ready to give her child away. She should have been given an opportunity to retract her offer, or be given more time to think this through.

- - -

@Stan As a side note, is it possible to make the window for editing posts longer? I'm someone who often have to edit my posts, (grammar, language, etc) and I frequently find that I'm unable to do so, because it's been more than 10 minutes since the post was made. As an example, in this case I had to make a new post. Just a friendly suggestion!

[Gregory Matthews]

O.K.  Thank you for your thoughts.  I will await more comments.

 

l

[rudywoofs (Pam)]

a Lutheran minister would probably have baptized the infant...  But the Catholic parents would also have the baby baptized.  Wouldn't that be "double dipping"?  

(Gregory, have you performed infant baptisms?)

[Lauralea]

Perhaps discuss her feelings with her about the child having a Catholic upbringing and if she would be comfortable with that. Often the birth mother can specify preferred religion. Maybe there should be a cooling off period while she reflected.

[Gregory Matthews]

Pam:  Good question for a future clinical ethics post.

 

[Gregory Matthews]

I am going to start you off with a partial answer.  But, it will not provide the whole answer.  I will leave that for later, and I welcome more comments form people:

When I arrived at the hospital I did the following:

1) First I met privately with the Social Worker.  I assured her that while I was not going to baptize the infant, I believed that a resolution could happen and the adoption could move forward.

2) Second I met privately with the Roman Catholic couple.  I listened to them as their desires to adopt this child.  I assured them that I was not going to baptize the child.  I obtained their willingness to seek a resolution of the situation that met their needs as well as that of the birth mother so that the adoption could take place.

3) Third I met privately with the birth mother.  I listened to her.

[Outta Here]

18 hours ago, Gregory Matthews said:

O.K  But, from the positive perspective, what could be done to resolve the situation that you could do?  Or, is there nothing positive that can be done.  People are people and often fixed in their position.  We even see that here in CA. 

 

Yeah, well, what could be done in any and every situation? Listen to the people, address their concerns, offer to do what is within your set of personal moral and religious beliefs and then let the rest to God. 

[Gregory Matthews]

Aubrey, clearly a possible answer.  Probably the only possible answer in some situations.  But, in this case, I believed that there was more that could be done to resolve the issue.  Later, I will tell you what it was. and how it was actually resolved.

I am waiting to see if there are any more responses. 

And, I am about to go off to church.

 

Happy Sabbath all.

 

[Gregory Matthews]

I can not wait.  I am going to give you the next step.  But, you will have to wait for the final resolution.

The two (2) Roman Catholic adoptive parents, the Baptist birth mother, the infant child, the Social worker and I met together in the hospital chapel.

There, in that place, we came together in a common agreement that satisfied the spiritual needs of all.

For what that was--later.

 

 

[phkrause]

Your keeping us hanging!!!!

[Gregory Matthews]

Frankly, before the six (6) of us met in the hospital chapel, I had reached an agreement with all of the parties.  Or, so I thought. 

After talking to all of them, in the chapel, for a moment, I had a prayer.  In that prayer I thanked God for the birth mother that had placed the interests of her newborn above her own interests.  I thanked God for her  courage in going ahead with the adoption.  I asked the Lord to guide her in her future, to give her the strength to get her life together and the wisdom to deal with the nuture and training of the children that remained with her.  

Then I asked the Lord to be with the new adoptive parents.  I thanked God for their commitment to provide for the spiritual nuture of this new born child.  I asked God to lead them in this effort and to give them the wisdom and strength to follow the leading of the Holy Spirit in their lives and that of the child.

At that time, the birth mother threw an unexpected wrench into the process.

 

To be  continued.

 

[Gregory Matthews]

The birth mother stated that before she handed the child over to the adoptive mother, she wanted to have a private conversation with the adoptive mother.

So, we left them alone and exited the chapel.

After a period of time, the two women walked out.   The adoptive mother was holding the infant child.

The process was over.  Resolution had been achieved.