Reflection--32 Years

[Gregory Matthews]

The following is a chapter in my personal story.  It is a story that requires some background to understand, so, I will give that.  With the Presidency of Donald Trump and the attention that North Korea has been recently given  by the world, in recent weeks, I have spent some time in reflecting on a 32 year-old event in which I married my present wife.  As many of you know, we met and got married in Seoul, Korea, at a time when I was in the Army and she was teaching in the English Department of the SDA University.

Background:

The American military practices constantly to go to war.  We call those "war games."  Some units may spend 1/3 of their time  in such practice, others may spend either more or less.

When one is stationed in a country such as South Korea, those exercises may include the evacuation of U.S. civilian personnel.  In such countries, those exercises are very important.

My future wife and I had gone through a complex military process in order to get permission to marry.  She had undergone a background check to see if in any way she was a security risk.  She had undergone a medical examination in order to determine whether or not she had any dread disease.  There had been other paperwork to establish that I was of sound mind.  Permission had been granted.

In our situation in South Korea, marriage it totally a civil, governmental function with no possibility of a religious aspect.  In order to get married we would have to take a sheaf of paperwork to three (3) different Korean governmental offices in Seoul, have them issue and stamp and sign documents.  After the 3rd office we would be married.  Then we would need to take documents to the U.S. Embassy in Seoul for more administrative work to  include a change in her passport status and visa.

The morning came that we had scheduled to do all of this.  That was the morning that they called one of those war games, to include the evacuation of U.S. civilians.  I had a decision to make:  Was I going to participate, or was I going to get married.  If I did not participate, I would likely end my military service, if I got caught.

I decided that the most important thing in my life was to get married.  If I got caught, I would have to suffer the consequences.  So, that is the decision that I made.

What happened?  I did not get caught.  I was able to complete my time in the Army and 32 years later, I am still married to the woman that I married those many years ago.

This is the first time I have told of this to anyone other than my wife.  I did not tell her until many years later. 

Good decision.   I would do it again.

 

[Gregory Matthews]

To illustrate some of the detail of this process:

One of the documents that I provided to the Korean government was a copy of my divorce decree from my previous wife.  The government official had a question, which I did not totally answer to his satisfaction.  If I had been attempting to marry a Korean national, he might not have approved the marriage.  But, due to the fact that I was attempting to marry a U.S.  citizen he decided that the question that he had was a U.S. issue that did not affect the rights of a South Korean citizen and he approved the marriage.

NOTE:  I do not remember  question that he had.

 

[Outta Here]

Why did you think you were above following the contract of service? Did you pay back your salary for that time you missed when you were supposed to be serving the United States government? Had that been an actual order to evacuate civilians, would you still "feel" that you would have done the same? After telling your wife, was she glad you were unfaithful to your contract with the United States so that you could be with her?

Are you proud of your history?

[Gregory Matthews]

Aubrey:  I will leave you to decide on the answers to your questions.  

As, to your last question:  Yes, I am proud of my history and I have been well recognized for it by the U.S. government.  But, you are not aware of that.  Further, the government has recognized me more than once for times when I acted outside the norms to accomplish what needed to be done.  On more than one occasion I have been officially commended for doing so.

One of the issues that you have failed to recognize is the in the U.S. military, people are expected to make decisions as well as expected to accept the consequences of those decisions.  This is in contrast to the expectation in the Soviet forces where people were expected to blindly follow policy.  Due to that, in combat operations the actions of the Soviet forces (or that of nations trained by the Soviet Union) was predictable and we generally knew what they were going to do before they did it.

Two classic examples of this might be our invasion of Iraq and of North Korea.  In the invasion of North Korea, we chose to enter North Korea in a manner that it was said  could not be done.  In the invasion of Iraq the Commanding General violated just about every dictum that existed.  If you knew your military history, you would understand what I have stated here.

By the way, while it could be said that I took a personal risk, I did not place anyone else at risk, contrary to what you might think.

 

 

 

[Gregory Matthews]

Aubrey:

I am going to give you a couple of answers:

1)  In my first three (3) years of service as a chaplain, I took on a 2-star general.  I won, and another 2-star in the Pentagon caused to be entered into my official records a formal commendation for what I had done.

2)  Following my retirement from the Army, I served as a chaplain of the Department of Veteran's Affairs.  During that time, a former 2-star Army General, who had gone on to a powerful position in the government, visited the hospital where I was working.  During his visit, to the surprise of all, he asked to visit with me.  In a conversation with me, he said:  When I was in the Pentagon, I always wanted someone like you on my staff, who would challenge me to make the right decision.  However, one of you on my staff was enough."    

Aubrey, I could give you multiple examples of people all the  way up to and including 4-star generals who knw my name.  I have been officially rewarded when I was right and I have accepted the consequences when I was not.  For, I was not always right.  I do not claim to always have been right and I have, at times, paid a price for being wrong.  But, I do not feel a need to tell you about those times.    

To put this in another context:  This is the call of God to the Christian in the life that they live in the world today:  To do what is right regardless of the consequences

 

 

[Outta Here]

Why didn't you just wait and see how God could have made that happen for you instead of going against your contract with the U.S. government?

[Gregory Matthews]

Aubrey:  God expects us to act as we depend on him.

I knew that I could act without any harm to anyone else and at the same time depend upon God to support me.  If things did not work out for the best for me, I was willing to accept the consequences of my decision.

That has been my experience many times in seeing God step in and support me in doing what I believed was necessary.

Yes, there were times when I was stupid and when I paid a price.  But, God works with stupid people.

You do not have to agree with me.  It is O.K. with me that you do not.

But, I will say again, that while there may be a time to wait for the leading of God, as you point out, God also expects people to be people of action.  That decision as to when there is a time to act can only be a personal one.  I made that decision.

 

 

 

[debbym]

we each live unto the Lord, not unto man.  we make mistakes and will meet our God face to face, and  stand clothed in His Holy Righteousness or our own.

[Gregory Matthews]

We may make mistakes that have no spiritual value, either positive or negative.

 

[Outta Here]

Honestly, it's just none of my business what you do. Sorry to have engaged.

 

 

[Gregory Matthews]

Aubrey:  I like to challenge people to think.  Such requires engagement.  That is what you did.  I do not have a problem with you doing so.  You responded in a civil manner that was on subject. 

[Gregory Matthews]

Aubrey, several times in this thread you have asked me the  question that I will quote below:

I have left that question alone, but decided now to dialogue with you on it.

What do you think that my contract, as a chaplain, was?

What do you think that the role of a clergy person is in society and employment?

Do you think that it is to blindly go along with the so-called norms?

I do not.  I see the role of a clergy person to challenge society at all times.

Outside of jobs that I have held while I was in school, I have been employed in three (3) different positions--as a congregational SDA pastor, as a SDA military chaplain and as a SDA chaplain for the VA.  In my 50 years of such relationships, I have challenged the norms in all of those positons.  In all of those positions, I have been able to effect change.

Yes, sometimes I have been stupid.  I am not perfect.  When I have been stupid, I have paid a price, which has been O.K. with me as I believe the people should be willing to understand and accept the consequences of their actions.  But, at times I have also been correct and the change that  I affected was a positive change, regardless of whether or not it was welcomed.

I will give you an example, while not allowing one to identify the actual situation.

Within the past five (5) years I filed a formal criminal complaint, against an administrator of the agency that employed me.   As a result, a Federal law enforcement agency spent several months in investigating that administrator.  It should also be noted that less than 30 minutes after I had filed that complaint,  I provided high-level supervisors of me a written notice that I had filed that criminal complaint.  IOW, they heard it from me first and well before they were notified by the Federal agency of the investigation.  One of my practices has always been to be up-front with people.

My contract with the U.S. Army, and every other organization that employed me has been, in part to challenge norms that needed to be challenged.  I have done that for all three of the organizations for which I have been emplo0yed.  I have in all three been successful on some levels.  Although there are some of which I am not yet prepared to publicly discuss in a forum like this.

 

Why did you think you were above following the contract of service?

[Outta Here]

Go in peace, Gregory.

[Gregory Matthews]

And I am puzzled.

You start a conversation with me that is civil and appropriate. 

Now dismiss me.  Certainly you do not have to continue to engage me in conversation on the subject that you started.  But, to simply dismiss me when I am responding to an issue that you have raised . . . . . . . . ?

 

[Outta Here]

Continue on as you like, I said I was sorry to have engaged.  I don't know how else to say sorry, or to wish you well than to say go in peace. I am really not interested the topic any longer. Have a peaceful day.

[Gregory Matthews]

O.K.  On that I understand.  You do not want to engage further and that is fine with me.

I can respect that you are sorry to have engaged.

I do not consider you to have done anything for which you need to apologize.  You were civil and with valid questions.

And, may you have a blessed day and be at peace.

 

[rudywoofs (Pam)]

On 5/3/2017 at 7:26 PM, Gregory Matthews said:

The morning came that we had scheduled to do all of this [getting papers to get married].  That was the morning that they called one of those war games, to include the evacuation of U.S. civilians.  I had a decision to make:  Was I going to participate, or was I going to get married.  If I did not participate, I would likely end my military service, if I got caught.

I decided that the most important thing in my life was to get married. 

Like Aubrey, I find the above rather odd.  If I had been in your place, I don't think I could've justified it in my heart and mind to put my own desire to get married above a job for which I had voluntarily signed up, with agreed-upon duties, particularly when it involved serving one's country.  Unless there was some dire reason why the marriage needed to take place within a certain timeframe, it *does* strike me odd that you, as a career military officer and someone who values honesty and forthrightness, elected to be devious and put your career on the line.

I kinda wish I hadn't read your your story...

[Gregory Matthews]

Pam, welcome back.

 

[GayatfootofCross]

Thank you for your honesty

The truth of humanity right here.

The heart wants what the heart wants.

I pretty much see everyone following their hearts.... ..if they can.