Too Old?

[Dr. Shane]

When is someone too old to have children?

Yes, we have thought it all through, says IVF mother, 63

Quote:

---

Patricia Rashbrook, a consultant child psychiatrist, will be 63 when she gives birth. She is seven months pregnant after treatment by an Italian embryologist. Doctors and anti abortion groups have accused her of selfishness and expressed fear for the child’s long-term welfare, growing up with two parents already over 60.

---

Quote:

---

The couple moved into an elegant three-storey townhouse in Lewes, East Sussex. A friend has said that Dr Rashbrook wanted a child “to seal her love for John”. The couple contacted Severino Antinori, a fertility doctor who courted controversy in the early 1990s by helping a 62-year-old Italian woman to give birth through IVF treatment

---

Quote:

---

Representatives from “pro-life” groups, however, condemned the pregnancy. Matthew O’Gorman, of Life, said that the child would be “without a mother or father at the most crucial moment of adolescence or when that child is growing into maturity”

---

[Gail]

And I thought I was too old at MY age!!!

[Nan]

There is that story of the mother who gave birth in her sixties, and when she got home from hospital her friends all came round to visit. For a long time they sat chatting and she served refreshments and there was some more chat - finally the friends could bear it no longer and asked if they could see the baby. She had to confess

"Well, I am waiting for her to cry. I have forgotten where I put her".

[Gerr]

[:"red"]When nature says, "no more!!!" [/] [:"blue"]Anything beyond that is monkey bidness. [/]

Gerry

[cricket]

No man or woman should even contemplate having children beyond the age of 39. There are too many risks of complications. Also, children deserve to have parents who can keep up with them through the ages.

[Beryl]

Yes, Cricket, I agree. One of the absolute blessings of being a grandmother, is that I am quite at liberty to hand them back when they cry, or need a nappychange, or do any of those things that make anyone but a mother squirm! I enjoy being a grandmother -- and I enjoyed being a mother(most of the time!!!), but now I enjoy the freedom and the love.

Those people who left it too late (often for selfish reasons) should look for children without a grandparent living near them, and bring joy to them.

I have spoken!!!

Beryl <img src="/adventist/images/graemlins/soapbox.gif" alt="" />

[Dr. Shane]

Something I see that is more common is old men marrying young girls and having babies when they are in their 50s or 60s. We has a couple like this at one of our churches. The wife was 22 and the husband 55 and the had a brand new baby. Donald Trump is another example. He is 59 and just has a new baby.

[Bravus]

There are a number of different issues here. Certainly looking forward is important... maybe you can have the baby at 63, but can you play with the 10 year old at 73, and play an active role in her wedding at 88? Will you even still be around? Beryl's suggestion is a great one - be a surrogate grandma. We could have done with one (or more) while we were here on the other side of the world from our girls' grandparents.

I think with someone like Trump's child, and even with the lady the thread was started about, there tends to be an assumption that nannies will do most of the actual child raising and playing with the child and so on... the parents will, in fact, enjoy the fun parts of having kids and hand the work off to others. There's a whole argument about both the morality and the practical consequences of that that this society needs to have, irrespective of the age of the parents. We might value women's right to work, but a generation of kids raised by people other than their parents will end up as different people...

Please note that this is *not* a call to put women back in the home, necessarily - we were lucky enough to be able to organise our lives so I stayed home to look after the kids sometimes, and my job and our studies have meant that they've been with one or other parent for almost all of their lives outside of school.

Having kids is a huge responsibility, and although people's lives change - e.g. through divorce - and they may not be able to give their kids the ideal at all times, I think it's immoral to have children in the full expectation that they'll be raised by (poorly) paid workers... {end rant}

I think Gerry's right too - nature has a good sense of when to call it quits. I have a different reaction for young potential parents who can't concieve for whatever reason, and think they should get help, but artificially extending the years of childbirth is worrying for all sorts of reasons.

[Guest]

Having 2 kids of my own, I think raising children requires youth and energy.... I am only in my mid 40s but I cannot even begin to think what it would be like just starting out with kids now....

[Ron Lambert]

Depends on whether they're wealthy enough to afford a nanny.

[cricket]

Kids deserve loving parents--not parental substitutes. []http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/b/b5/Horton_hatches_the_egg.jpg[/]