Piecing together the pain of loss for men after abortion

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Corrine Barraclough: Piecing together the pain of loss for men after abortion

THERE are some times in life when you don’t join the dots until you have a conversation that’s like switching on a series of light bulbs.

We know male suicide rates are soaring.

Did you know male suicides and abortion-related mental illness are interrelated? Neither did I. It’s poorly understood by professionals too.

“Most suicide counsellors aren’t trained to identify abortion trauma,” Julie Cook, national director of ­Abortion Grief Australia (AGA) tells me.

“In fact, the vast majority aren’t even aware that it can be an issue for men. Most women have no concept that abortion can hurt men.

https://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/news/opinion/corrine-barraclough-piecing-together-the-pain-of-loss-for-men-after-abortion/news-story/b9aed53e9a1977b0496633a669ee14f1?nk=54be4ba790dc8fc2165f0c04a58e5cbf-1554472311

 

[Bravus]

An opinion column in the Daily Telegraph... the source is not especially solid, but let’s look at the content.

I don't for a moment disagree that there is trauma to some men, sometimes, when their partners have an abortion. Indeed, I have personal experience: we had to abort our much-wanted first child because she was malformed and already dead in the womb. It was incredibly traumatic.

If the upshot of this story is 'let's provide better support and counselling services for men', I'm fully behind that. I mean, they need to be provided for everyone in society, including men. 

If the upshot is 'we need to give men more control over women'...

I can't seem to get access to the article. Not sure why. Does it cite any science, or just opinion? A correlation is not causation...

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On 4/7/2019 at 6:53 PM, Bravus said:

If the upshot of this story is 'let's provide better support and counselling services for men', I'm fully behind that. I mean, they need to be provided for everyone in society, including men.

In most western cultures today, rights for men are not well protected, no matter what the radical fems claim. One European nation is even in the process of starting a commission to protect men's rights. From what I have read and guys from OZ I have chatted with, the situation for men is even worse than it is in the US. Really bad in the English speaking countries. 

On 4/7/2019 at 6:53 PM, Bravus said:

If the upshot is 'we need to give men more control over women'...

No one is asking for more control over women. For many abortions, the guy should have been more careful what he was doing. You can do a one nighter and then expect to have a say in the child to be. However, in the US, even if the man has done everything right, ... marriage,support, etc, he has no say if his wife decides to abort his child. That is wrong.

The fact of modern life to day is that men have a decreasing ability to protect their own. babies are aborted, their little girls are in danger going into a public restroom or even to school, and the list is getting longer.

On 4/7/2019 at 6:53 PM, Bravus said:

I can't seem to get access to the article. Not sure why. Does it cite any science, or just opinion? A correlation is not causation...

The link is working for me. The article is from Australia. I have noticed some websites restrict access from certain parts of the world. You may be restricted because of being in Australia.

[Aliensanctuary]

The real issue is to consider the rights of the unborn. When they are considered a human with the right to live, there will be far fewer abortions and much more birth control.

If a women becomes pregnant, except in rape or incest cases, it should be her responsibility to take care of herself and the human she has conceived. If she doesn't want to care for the child after it is born, she needn't keep it as long as there is a responsible party to love and care for it.

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10 hours ago, Aliensanctuary said:

If a women becomes pregnant, except in rape or incest cases, it should be her responsibility to take care of herself and the human she has conceived. If she doesn't want to care for the child after it is born, she needn't keep it as long as there is a responsible party to love and care for it.

Rape or incest is always offered as a legitimate reason for abortion. I am not going to argue as it is a lot to ask a woman/girl who has gone thru the experience to continue the horror of the whole event thru childbirth. And giving birth is in itself not risk free. However, you can find many stories of those who were a product of a rape event who were allowed to live, and even cherished, by their mothers even though conceived by an act of violence. It is an act of unbelievable selflessness that is so rare but also so kind to the baby. 

Another group of individuals who have to live with this practice are those who actually survived an abortion attempt. They, along with babies born of rape, will hear all their lives how they should have not been allowed to be born. That would be a heavy burden for a young person or child to carry. How would you deal with such a thing growing up? (rhetorical question!)

[Bravus]

My point was not pro-abortion. 

It was the much narrower point that, based on the available evidence, the link made between abortion and male suicide seems tenuous if not specious. 

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4 hours ago, Bravus said:

...  the link made between abortion and male suicide seems tenuous if not specious. 

As you will note in the article, few studies have been done. So, denying something because no large scale studies have been done does not mean it doesn't happen. Reality is, not much has been examined relative to men and issues faced. But many counselors have found a connection. Do be aware that a much larger number of men commit suicide, for a variety of reasons, than women. And losing a child they were unable to protect is just one reason.

At this point, there are only a few studies examining the impact of abortion on men. Counselors who work with men after abortion say that men have reported a large number of problems that they claim were a direct result of their abortion experience.

https://www.theunchoice.com/men.htm

https://www.theunchoice.com/Men/mensuicide.htm

[Bravus]

4 hours ago, B/W Photodude said:

So, denying something because no large scale studies have been done does not mean it doesn't happen.

Of course. But asserting that it does happen in the absence of evidence is also dangerous.

I don't doubt that (a) it really does happen sometimes and (b) men sometimes identify their partner's abortion as a key influence on their depression. 

While you said "No-one is asking for more control over women", the remainder of that same paragraph was not consistent with that statement.

Something there *is* a lot of evidence for is abuse and coercion by men of the women with whom they are in intimate relationships.

Creating laws that require consent from men before women can undergo abortions is fraught while-ever this is the case and the woman may know she would be bringing a child into an abusive environment. The possibility of adoption is not relevant in these circumstances.

In an ideal world, a couple is together and in one accord when a child is conceived, and able to make the decision to conceive together, and to carry that child to term and raise it together.

We do not live in an ideal world. Sometimes none of the available outcomes are ideal. Placing women more firmly under the control of men is, in my view, not a step toward making a more ideal world.